Ahead of the return of Changing Rooms, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen has given one particular reason for wanting his reboot to become a success.
“I’ve made a significant investment in leather trousers,” he said, “so I would like to get a bit more wear out of them.”
Having watched Wednesday night’s opener, I really hope Laurence kept all his receipts.
Laurence’s new makeovers could well keep fellow beard-and-leathers fan Nick Knowles’s DIY:SOS team going for years.
One of Wednesday’s contestants may even be tempted to beg Nick to pop down with his new Channel 5 show Big House Clearout.
A peacock-inspired indoor swing seat and a full-length picture of Laurence on the living room door would be first into Nick’s big trash lorry.
Yes, this rebirth really was that bad.
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It would have looked horribly dated even if it hadn’t been massively improved upon during its 17-year absence by the likes of Grand Designs, Amazing Spaces, Your Home Made Perfect, Alan Carr’s Interior Design Masters and even (Oh, go on, I’ll say it) Peter Andre’s 60 Minute Makeover.
Plus there was another, bigger problem: sponsorship.
I won’t deny there was a certain nostalgic thrill to be had at first.
But the main reason for Channel 4’s decision to defrost Laurence soon became painfully clear – to flog some paint.
This new Changing Rooms is “brought to you” by Dulux.
Unfortunately, the tie-up also means Laurence and the two new designers Russell and Jordan (played, it would seem, by Will Young and Brian Dowling) are instantly hamstrung as far as the creative process is concerned.
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Basically, if their designs don’t involve a shedload of Dulux paint they are not going to fly.
At times, it felt as if everything had to be either glossed or eggshelled.
I wondered why they didn’t just storm in with giant paint packs on their backs and spray down the whole joint, Ghostbusters-style.
The only thing that wasn’t sprayed-on was Laurence’s latest pair of black leather trousers. Let’s just say he appears to be more of a leather jogging pants guy these days.
But hey, at least it reminded me I needed to put the bin bags out.
