That was tremendous entertainment, 90 minutes of football as nature intended. Stuart Armstrong’s brilliant goal gave Celtic the lead, and they looked like extending it for most of the second half. Rangers found a second wind from somewhere, however, and ultimately deserved Clint Hill’s dramatic late equaliser. Thanks for your company, bye.
Updated
Full time; Celtic 1-1 Rangers
Peep peep! Celtic’s winning run is over after a cracking derby.
90+3 min Rangers are camped in their own box. A cross breaks to Griffiths, who lashes the bouncing ball towards goal. It takes a deflection off one defender and is headed clear by Hill on the six-yard line.
90+1 min There will be three minutes of additional mayhem.
90 min Hill makes a vital tackle on Griffiths in the penalty area. Celtic wanted a penalty and you can see why - Hill did get the ball but you could make a good case that he came through Griffiths to do so. I can see both sides!
88 min “By ‘comedy bronze’,” says Mac Millings, “I assume aspiring satirist Ian Copestake is referring to my new President.”
What a moment! Tavernier’s long free-kick was half cleared and came back to him 25 yards from goal. He slipped a fine, straight through pass to Hyndman, who got it out of his feet and struck a swaggering low shot across goal from just inside the box. Gordon made an outstanding save low to his right, but he only could push it further across goal and Clint Hill reacted quickest to shin it gleefully into the net from a few yards.
Updated
GOAL! Celtic 1-1 Rangers (Hill 87)
Rangers have equalised!
Updated
86 min “You are depressing me,” says Andrew Orlowicz. “I used to love reading the MBMs. It used to be a great part of weekend mornings but now they suck. You fuck off.”
85 min Dembele almost seals it on the counter-attack. He twisted Wilson inside out on the left of the box and smashed a left-footed shot right across the face of goal from a narrow angle.
85 min Celtic aren’t exactly hanging on but they are sitting uncomfortably on this one-goal lead. Rangers have admirably found a second wind from somewhere.
84 min Another Rangers change; MIchael O’Halloran replaces the tiring Waghorn.
81 min Holt is subbed off before he is sent off. Harry Forrester replaces him.
80 min Holt wins the ball in a dangerous area with a scissor tackle on Roberts, runs into the area and places a curler just wide of the far post. It looked a foul from Holt, and Lustig was booked for protesting.
79 min Waghorn bounces off Boyata and falls over in the penalty area. There are a few shouts for a penalty, though none really from the Rangers players.
77 min Scott Brown (pictured below) is booked for a foul on Waghorn.
76 min “Do we know the names of Mac Millings’ cats?” says Simon McMahon. “My money’s on Harmison, Hoggard, Flintoff and Jones.”
Updated
75 min This is a much better spell for Rangers, who survived an onslaught at 1-0 and still have a chance of ending Celtic’s winning run.
74 min “When Mac emails its like a guest appearance from Matt Berry,” says Ian Copestake. “Comedy bronze.”
73 min Celtic make another substitution: Leigh Griffiths replaces the goalscorer Armstrong.
71 min Gordon makes a great save from Waghorn! Miller chased a lost cause down the left wing and crossed low towards Waghorn, who hooked it first time towards goal from 10 yards. Gordon flew from his line and again blocked it with his legs. Waghorn had been a million miles offside in the first phase of play, which meant he was ahead of the Celtic defenders - but behind Miller and therefore onside - when the cross came in. It was another great chance.
Updated
70 min What Rangers would give for somebody like Brian Laudrup or Paul Gascoigne (pictured below) in this situation.
Updated
69 min A Celtic change: Patrick Roberts (pictured below) replaces James Forrest.
68 min Armstrong brings a fine diving save from Foderingham with a long-range curler.
65 min Rangers can’t get out of their third, never mind their half. Celtic’s passing has been superb in the last 10 minutes.
64 min “Dear Andrew Orlowicz,” writes Mac Millings. “I don’t have ‘cable’, or ‘satellite’, or ‘friends’, so I don’t watch a lot of modern football. (Yeah, I’m bragging.) I may not be all that weird. I’m not fat, but it’s not for want of sitting, immobile, on my smeary couch, surrounded by nothing but carbohydrates (solid and liquid) and four cats. I’m only fake-lonely (fauxnely, as I the modern parlance has it), as I do have a family, although thankfully they ignore me. I don’t get you, Andrew, or it, or any. But I will tell you this - leave Rob Smyth alone. He is everything I aspire to be. A weird, fat, lonely man.”
63 min Sinclair and Tierney are giving Rangers all sorts of trouble down the left. Another good move from them ends with Tierney’s cut-back being blocked.
61 min Rangers can’t get out at the moment.
59 min Rangers make a change: Barrie McKay is replaced by Josh Windass (pictured below).
Updated
58 min Wilson overruns the ball and gives it to Forrest, who scoops it forward to Dembele. He runs at the defence and shoots straight at Foderingham from the edge of the box. Wilson needs to be careful as he’s been booked and he lunged at Forrest in that attack.
56 min Sinclair on the left plays a good reverse pass to Armstong, whose fierce left-footed shot from a tight angle is turned round the far post by the diving Foderingham. Celtic have woken up after a slow start to the half.
Updated
54 min Lovely play on the left from Tierney, who nutmegs Tavernier and crosses low to McGregor, who mishits a first-time shot across the box.
52 min Hill is booked for a bodycheck on Dembele. He’s the fourth Rangers player on a yellow card. You can probably work out what happens next.
Updated
51 min Rangers have started the second half as they did the first, on the front foot. The next goal is of not inconsiderable importance.
48 min “That link which gives us the skinny on Fitz Hall being in ‘The Fifth Element’ also includes a ‘Knowledge Archive’ question, further down, from a ‘Clinton Mansell’,” says Stephen Hughes. “Is that the renowned composer of film scores for Darren Aronofsky, among others, who’s also the former lead singer from ‘Pop Will Eat Itself’, whose tunes included the very unofficial Italia ‘90 song ‘Touched By The Hand Of Cicciolina’? I’m guessing it is.”
47 min Almost an early chance for Rangers. Waghorn gets the wrong side of Sviatchenko, who misjudged a ball forward from Tavernier, only for the ball to wriggle away from his right foot.
47 min “As an infrequent viewer of Scottish football, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by Neil McCann as a part of Sky’s punditry team,” says Matt Loten. “Coherent, clearly enthusiastic and knowledgeable, he actually does what so few of his peers fail spectacularly to do: offer insight on the match which the rest of us Joe Nobody’s couldn’t have managed ourselves. It’s a bit of a damning indictment on the rest of the ‘profession’ that we have to praise such pundits (Gary Neville setting the gold standard) for simply fulfilling their job description, but the fact is it remains rare, and those that manage it (I’m also partial to Danny Higginbotham) deserve to be highlighted.”
46 min Rangers begin the second half, kicking from left to right.
Celtic have made a half-time change: the injured Nir Bitton is replaced by Callum McGregor.
Updated
Half-time fan mail
“Why would you post an email that is essentially some dude bragging about having cable?” says Andrew Orlowicz. “You are so weird.”
“This is why, despicable as he may be, Joey Barton hates Scott Brown,” writes Andrew Orlowicz. “The man looks like a freaking neanderthal. I’ve never seen anyone as ugly. Also, dude, your Celtic bias is out of control. As a Manchester United supporter of many years, shouldn’t you be on the side of the Rangers? In honor of Sir Alex? You are weird. You are a weird, fat, lonely man.”
“Sorry,” says Andrew Orlowicz. “I just don’t get you.”
Updated
Half-time reading
Half time: Celtic 1-0 Rangers
Peep peep! Celtic lead a tight game thanks to a moment of individual brilliance from Stuart Armstrong. See you in 10 minutes for the second half!
44 min “You mentioned ‘one size’ Fitz Hall & did you know he was in The Fifth Element as a teenager?” says Sean Rooney. “I didn’t & I am baffled as to why & how he did. Any idea how he got that gig?”
Really? Crikey, so he was. On that theme, apparently Lady Gaga was in the Sopranos. The flip?
43 min It’s unthinkable for Rangers to concede a second before half-time. They’ve done some good things in this half, and had a great chance to take the lead, but if they go 2-0 down they can forget it.
42 min Armstrong scuffs a shot straight at Foderingham from 25 yards.
41 min Brown plays an impromptu game of keepy-uppy near the touchline. Tavernier is not having that and plays a game of keepy-uppy with Brown. He’s booked.
39 min A lovely move from Celtic brings a half-chance for a second: Brown’s arrowing crossfield pass, Lustig’s header infield, and finally Forrest’s dragged shot that goes well wide of the near post.
The goal came from an error by Holt on the edge of the box. He miskicked an attempted clearance, giving the ball to Armstrong. He played a give-and-go with Forrest and then smashed a low shot from just outside the area that whistled into the corner at the near post. Foderingham had no chance; it was a beautiful left-footed strike with very little backlift.
Updated
GOAL! Celtic 1-0 Rangers (Armstrong 35)
Celtic lead through a terrific goal!
Updated
35 min “G’day from my couch in Mt Helen, Victoria, Oz,” says Alan Clark. “I have beIN on one screen and you on another, so I’ll have things well covered tonight, eh? It is all a bit tighter than I thought it might be, but it’ll still be the hoops by three. Antipodean cheers.”
34 min McKay’s long-range shot is too soft and too straight. An easy save for Gordon.
32 min Wilson is booked for something or other. Tierney’s shot deflects behind for another Celtic corner. It’s cleared, but the pressure is building.
31 min Replays suggest Foderingham may have fingertipped that onto the post. If he did, it’s a seriously good save.
30 min Armstrong’s free-kick hits the post! It went straight through the wall and bounced up to hit the outside of the left post as Foderingham scrambled across his line.
29 min Brown takes care off the covering Holt off the ball, allowing Forrest to run thrillingly at the defence until he is fouled just outside the area by the sliding Wilson. This is a chance...
24 min Gordon makes a vital save from Waghorn! The chance came out of nothing, with a little header through the defence from Kenny Miller. Waghorn, who looked fractionally offside, marched onto it and hit a left-footed shot from 15 yards that was kicked away by the stretching Gordon. That’s an excellent reaction save.
Updated
24 min “Afternoon Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Stuart Armstrong is an excellent player, that much was clear as he racked up 150 appearances for Dundee United after making his debut at 18, and he has really flourished under Brendan Rodgers as a box-to-box, goalscoring midfielder. He’s also not your typical Scottish footballer, having completed a law degree from the OU and openly stated his ambition to further his football development in a European league. More predictably, he was nicknamed ‘Stretch’ at United.”
And there I was thinking Fitz Hall and Kiki Musampa had ushered in an age of decent footballer nicknames.
23 min Rangers should be really happy with this first quarter. They haven’t created anything; more importantly, nor have Celtic. The game still hasn’t fully settled down.
20 min “Regarding doing things once a day that scare us - opening the computer is plenty scary enough for me,” says Gary Naylor.
Ha, yeah. In 2016 and 2017, waking up probably qualifies.
19 min Celtic are starting to threaten. Lustig, on the halfway line, drills a stunning angled pass over the defence for Dembele, who just can’t bring in down in the area.
Updated
19 min Gordon’s long free-kick is allowed to bounce through to Dembele, who shoots tamely and straight at Foderingham from 15 yards. That was half a chance.
18 min Waghorn’s first touch is good, his second less so, and that means his third is a foul on Bitton - a bad one too, for which he is booked.
17 min “Not sure if it’s been mentioned before, but Pedro Caixinha used to be the coach of Santos Laguna in the Mexican League,” says Julio Castaneda. “He was very innovative with his tactics for the Mexican League (which isn’t necessarily saying much) and overperformed with the squad he had for several seasons. He also brought in youth to the first team from the academy.”
15 min Holt and particularly Hyndman have started superbly in the centre of midfield for Rangers. There’s a confidence to their play, and they combine to find McKay on the left. His outside-of-the-foot cross bounces awkwardly in front of Miller, who slices his attempted shot. Celtic break at pace and Sinclair beats Hodson on the left of the box but then runs the ball out of play.
12 min Most of the game has taken place in the Celtic half so far. Rangers could really do with scoring while they are on top though, because it’s not going to be like this for 90 minutes.
11 min Clint Hill, aged 92, is penalised for a challenge on Forrest. There’s an admirable latent fury to this game.
8 min Dembele’s clearance hits Tavernier and rebounds back off Dembele for a Rangers corner. Nothing comes of it but Rangers will be happy with this start. Miller then flies in at Armstrong, both feet off the ground, and is a bit lucky that Armstrong evades and then ignores the challenge. Some players would have asked the referee to show a red card for that. Armstrong didn’t react at all.
Updated
7 min This has been a decent start from Rangers. Waghorn robs Sviatchenko and wins a free-kick on the right wing. Tavernier made a mess of the last one; this one is better but headed clear at the near post.
5 min Wallace is fouled down the left by Armstrong. Tavernier’s inswinging free-kick is too close to Gordon and easily claimed.
3 min You probably don’t need me to tell you that there is a belting atmosphere at Celtic Park. Celtic, as you’d expect, have started with a relaxed confidence in possession.
1 min Celtic kick off from left to right. They are in green and white hoops; Rangers are in blue.
“Regarding doing things once a day that scare us, I asked a woman at the local supermarket here in Frankfurt where the eggs had gone,” says Ian Copestake. “With unconcealed bitterness at being disturbed she wordlessly pointed at the empty shelf. So thanks, Baz, I now have to move cities.”
Pre-match nostalgia
The new Rangers manager Pedro Caixinha will be at today’s game, though he’ll only be watching from the stands. Graeme Murty will manage the team.
What’s Pards got to do, got to do with it?
📸 Everyone's excited for the derby here at Paradise! #COYBIG pic.twitter.com/EiOypWNRgY
— Celtic Football Club (@celticfc) March 12, 2017
Team news
Celtic (4-3-3) Gordon; Lustig, Boyata, Sviatchenko, Tierney; Brown, Bitton Armstrong; Forrest, Dembele, Sinclair.
Substitutes: De Vries, Simunovic, Griffiths, Gamboa, Roberts, McGregor, Eboue Kouassi.
Rangers (4-4-2) Foderingham; Hodson, Hill, Wilson, Wallace; Tavernier, Hyndman, Holt, McKay; Miller, Waghorn.
Substitutes: Alnwick, Bates, O’Halloran, Forrester, Dodoo, Senderos, Windass.
Updated
Preamble
Morning! In Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen), his feelgood sermon about missing most of life’s opportunities, Baz Luhrmann says we should do one thing each day that scares us. And so today Rangers will head to Celtic Park, fearing an almighty towelling. Few if any of the 400-odd Old Firm derbies have looked as one-sided as this, and some have been looking up Celtic’s record win in this fixture: 7-1, which are coincidentally the odds you can get on a Rangers win.
There is an upside to all this for Rangers. From the dancefloor to the workplace, life is a game of risk and reward. The greater the risk, the greater the potential reward. Just imagine how good Rangers will feel if they beat Celtic today. Even a draw would feel pretty wonderful, especially as it would end Celtic’s run of 22 consecutive league wins.
The downside is pretty clear: the greater the risk, the likelier the embarrassment. Rangers could be completely humiliated today. Baz Luhrmann’s feelgood sermon didn’t tell us how to deal with that.
Kick off is at noon.
Updated
