Nothing like a dame ... panto star and king of the jungle Christopher Biggins. Photograph: Nathan Amzi/Rex Features
Hurrah. I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here finished when, after a tense couple of seconds during which everyone though Janice Dickinson might somehow beat Christopher Biggins, she didn't, and he emerged, triumphant. PinkNews.co.uk celebrates the win of the "Panto dame and old-fashioned gay" Biggins, and rounds up some of the interviews and comment pieces that met his crowning as King of the Jungle. Panto is, apparently, coming out of the closet (say some people from the Telegraph who may or may not have been to a pantomime before, according to this reply from What's On Stage).
Weirdly, there seems to be some suggestion that Marc and Cerys might just be "pretending" to be in love for financial gain. SURELY not. Reality shows are an absolute breeding ground for romances, aren't they? Well, the ones that are supposed to be about, not romance, but dancing or bugs or such. Matt Di Angelo and professional dancer Flavia Cacace also are prompting rumours of a love-off.
Rhydian Roberts is anxious about everyone saying he'll win X Factor. Which, of course, just makes him all the more loveable in the eyes of everyone who already wants him to win, and makes him all the more likely to do so. Maybe he won't, of course ... The Bitch Factor bemoaned a couple of lacklustre performances on his behalf on Saturday, but whatever happened, they didn't lack as much lustre as Hope, who got booted off - kind of predictable, with even Louis Walsh, the man who suggested them forming, deciding it was all a terrible idea. Well, clearly. We all knew that.
No one seemed very surprised or very sad when they actually went. From Rotwatch:
"Their version of We Will Rock You was, in my opinion, better than Rhydian's Queen song, but it didn't push Sharon's button, who proclaimed it 'very difficult for girls to sing'. Can't imagine why. Hasn't she read any post-feminist theory?"
There is no Hope. All Hope is gone. The headlines wrote themselves.
Gordon Ramsay fixing marriages as well as kitchen nightmares? Didn't Trinny and Susannah do that already, but with clothes? Ee, these celebrities and their multitasking. We'll have Jeremy Clarkson giving tips on how best to make your mufffins rise soon. I haven't just used a real motoring term by mistake, have I? God, that would be embarrassing, wouldn't it?
In Strictly Come Dancing, a dream ended for the second Logan of the run, as Kenny wasn't that good, and then got chucked out of the series. Leaving, um ...
In other news! The first look at the logo for the show what will be replacing the horrendous racist cock-up that was this January's Celebrity Big Brother. It's being replaced, of course, with Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack, which will have celebrities, tasks, prizes, many of the same elements as every other Big Brother, but - and this is important - No Racism.
And even if there is, we could all vocally state our communal distaste for it, should we wish to do so, due to our God-given Right to Reply. Well, not so much "God-given" as "OFCOM-decreed". And not so much Right to Reply as whatever they've called the new version of Right to Reply with Krishnan Guru-Murthy. Or we can just pootle about on the internet and write disgruntled things about it. I know where I'll be, most likely.
For it is difficult not to be disgruntled. I was all fine, and could even watch the Spice Girls supermarket adverts without developing too much of a headache, and then someone linked to this Christmas single by the fast food rockers. And I just can't move past it. I'm suffering. Thus so shall you. Here you are: The Fast Food Rockers, with I Love Christmas Time. Oh do you? Do you really? So did I, once. Thanks.
