Celebrity style: Tina Fey

This satin under-as-overwear garment is the perfect top because it is dyed the colour of blue-screen, upon which a much, much nicer top can be projected, cannily Photograph: Evan Agostini/Getty Images

This look has it all. Let’s read from the bottom up. Toe to hip: royal goth; waist to neck: sexy barmaid in an 80s Brit-flick; head sort of area: whimsical vet doing a poetry MA Photograph: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

Always the bridesmaid, never the person who buys a new dress 15 years after the bride whose train you carried has left her husband for the woman who tutored their son Photograph: Amy Graves/WireImage

Hiya! Right. Ready to go? Let’s just have a quick check. Mittens? Yep. Puffa jacket? On. Woolly hat? Got. Wellies made of melting butter? Yep. Good. Now, who needs the loo? There won’t be one on the way Photograph: Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images

Despite all my lobbying, Miss England contestants will no longer have to compete in swimsuits. Which means that the formalwear round will become more important than ever Photograph: Gregg DeGuire/WireImage