Celebrity style: Russell Brand

I long to read the romance novel this portrait appeared on the cover of. I think it was called The Man in the T-shirt and his Funny Words for Penis
Photograph: Channel 4

Under the coalition government there’s been some confusion about the policy on genitals. The final decision, I think it was by “Osborne”, was that they should be blurred out altogether
Photograph: Mark St George/Rex Features

Straight men, this is what homosexuals see when they look at Kelly Brook
Photograph: Getty Images

He’s a silhouette made out of soot and meat. He’s a wizard painted by an artist with a headstick. He’s stretched liquorice left out in the sun
Photograph: Jo Hale/Getty Images

This man once claimed he slept with 80 women a month. Eight zero
Photograph: Allstar