Celebrity style: Rihanna

A cocktail please, barman: three parts Dolly Parton, one part Brighton deckchair, one part a-woman-on-Come-Dine-With-Me-who-uses-her-breasts-to-distract-from-the-soup, topped off with the mixer of your choice. Goes down a treat. Very good with nuts Photograph: Brian J. Ritchie/Rex Features

It is like sleep science. It’s like when it’s late and you're tired and warm in bed, radiator cooling, lights dimmed, pillow fluffed, but you don’t feel entirely comfortable unless you’ve got one foot poking out of the duvet. It’s like that Photograph: Evan Agostini/AP

Ooh, that reminds me: the new series of Skins is brilliant. Tape it. It is a sort of cross between Grange Hill and Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, and it works beautifully, though really it shouldn’t. Like this erotic tracksuit, like a warm buffet at a lapdancing club Photograph: George Pimentel/WireImage

Fabulous. Very one-dress-sucking-another-into-the-black-hole-of-fashion, which, fashion fans, is HEY-UGE this season. Chiffon defies gravity. It defies more than that – it defies time. It defies sceptics and nature and suitability. It’s also quite a good name for a daughter Photograph: Kyle Rover/Rex Features