Be still my beating groin. Has ever a sight filled you with so much glittering excitement and existential desire, so much anti-pathos? So much primal want?Photograph: Dave Hogan/Getty ImagesPastels on a tanned bare chest, an eyebrow of a beard, and strong hands gripping a can of low-fat pop: these are the building blocks of our society. These are the sugars in our overbrewed teaPhotograph: Jo Hale/Getty ImagesA shirt made of pure mercury, a tie so loosely worn that one’s mind can’t help but wonder if (pray that) the whole delicate outfit might fall off in a stiff breezePhotograph: Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images
Isn’t it awful when your white T-shirt reacts badly with the fabric softener and in bright daylight suddenly exposes a black black soul?Photograph: Rex Features
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