His shorts, bless them, can barely conceal his Medusa-like pubic area, a tangle of fertile glands and williesPhotograph: Rex FeaturesHot tip gleaned from late-80s Just Seventeen that emerges now, looking at Ron. Keep a white T-shirt in your hand luggage to put on when your plane lands. It will set off your holiday tan something lovelyPhotograph: Matt Baron/Rex FeaturesScreensaver alert! Hell – let’s get it tattooed. This is the image I want with me always: the silver shorts, the matt-black crutches, the cloud of Lynx Africa, not seen but impliedPhotograph: Rex Features
Few men can pull off an oversized earring, but Ron of course is one of those men. The studs set off the collar beautifully – and the steel handheld hawkPhotograph: Agencia EFE/Rex FeaturesPapa are you near me? Papa can you hear me? Papa can you praise me for my glutes?Photograph: Antonio Simoes/EPA
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