Feeling riled? Then you need to show some imagination. Wayne Rooney recently responded to a Liverpool fan's insults on Twitter with the contemporary equivalent of a challenge to a duel: "I will put you asleep within 10 seconds hope u turn up if u don't gonna tell everyone ur scared u little nit. I'll be waiting."
Then a few days later, Rooney's wife Coleen entered a battle with a Twitter user who branded her "orange" and criticised her "ugly rich cheating husband". Coleen's comeback? '"Just seen ur profile pic!! dog", followed by: "Are you feeling OK cos your face looks very pale to your body!"
Also this week, journalist Johann Hari tweeted that he had received an email from the pornographer Larry Flynt, responding to an interview Hari had done with him. "Hah!" Hari wrote. "Larry Flynt has sent me a rage-email ending 'I think you're a creepy slime ball and I have chunks of little guys like you in my colon'." Well it's certainly creative.
