Call me a twisted, cynical old hack, but nothing gives me greater pleasure than a decent movie spoiler. It's not that I ever empathised with the annoying kid at the cinema who constantly nudges his companion to say "This is a good bit"; I just can't be bothered watching new films very much and knowing the ending at least allows me to bluff my way through conversations that would otherwise get a little awkward.
But now, thanks to the lovely people at Ruined Endings, I've found a whole new obsession: a Unified Theory of Movie Time. It's like Stephen Hawking for slackers. Their new site, The Movie Timeline, offers to tell you everything that's ever happened in the movies, chronologically, from 65 million years BC to 10,191 AD. (While we're on the subject of spoilers, it starts with a mosquito from Jurassic Park and ends with the final scene of sci-fi epic Dune.)
It is, as the authors are the first to admit, "a self-confessed complete waste of time". So if, like me, you find yourself engrossed in the site's unlikely coincidences, all I can do is apologise in advance.
But just try and deny you're not fascinated by the fact that Bill and Ted kidnap Abraham Lincoln by travelling back to exactly the same year as Jean-Claude Van Damme's Timecop does - which also happens to be when Leonardo DiCaprio and Daniel Day-Lewis square up for the last time in Gangs of New York. OK, maybe it's just me...
