John Sidoti took a touch. Then another. In his personalised Matildas kit, the New South Wales minister for sport was feeling the momentum. The ball was racing away but, if he stretched, he could probably make it.
He couldn’t.
On Tuesday afternoon, at an event to support Australia’s 2023 Women’s World Cup bid, Sidoti dribbled through a field of talented junior Matildas, and fell over head first.
Parents said @John_Sidoti was fantastic with the girls..... and he certainly showed some skills..... but this is too good not to share 😁@TheMatildas@GladysB@7NewsSydney@Socceroos pic.twitter.com/B55gqHP7Ny
— ᖇOᗷEᖇT OᐯᗩᗪIᗩ 👀 (@RobertOvadia) July 30, 2019
BLOOPER!!! My footwork used to be sharper! I’ll leave the football to the Matildas while I concentrate on helping NSW and Australia win the FIFA 2023 Women’s World Cup @FFA @AusBid2023 @FIFAWWC #bloopers #wwc2019 pic.twitter.com/UdcIQSpg16
— John Sidoti MP (@John_Sidoti) July 30, 2019
Sidoti was in good spirits as he joined the hallowed halls of politicians failing completely at sport.
“I was weaving through them, but I was getting carried away,” he told Guardian Australia. “We’re talking about up and coming Matildas. I was living my childhood dream.”
The Juventus-supporting Sydney MP denied any accusations of diving. “The pitch wasn’t fantastic. I’ve got pointy shoes … I’ve got my wedding shoes on practically.
“I think it highlights that my days in soccer are over. End of the day, everything we do is about the grassroots, and supporting women’s sport.”
But can anything top the irony of a sports minister tripping himself up?
John Howard
The iconic Australian political sporting fail happened on a dirt pitch in Pakistan. On a visit to the earthquake-damaged area of Dhanni in 2005, John Howard set up stumps.
The three wobbly deliveries echoed down the generations, even as they failed to make it to the crease.
Malcolm Turnbull
In 2017, Malcolm Turnbull took some time off from the Liberal party conference in Perth to shoot some hoops. It did not go well.
Hopefully @TurnbullMalcolm shoots a bit sharper at the Liberal Party Conference! 🏀😂 #auspol #perthnews #wanews #lebronwho pic.twitter.com/JmtQE6w3Cf
— Gemma Varone (@gemvarone) September 2, 2017
Kevin Rudd
Kevin Rudd has always been popular with the kids. A lot of that is due to his constant willingness to enter the fiery lunchtime arena of handball.
Rudd’s technique is unconventional but still beautiful, a kind of whole-body followthrough, where his entire being ripples with the effort.
From Kelvin Grove State College:
To Brisbane State High School:
But chin-ups did not go so well:
Boris Johnson
Whereas Sidoti had the good grace to fail in front of the junior Matildas, other politicians have happily swept small children from their path to prove themselves good at sport.
See the new UK prime minister, Boris Johnson:
In 2006, Johnson also did this to the former German international Maurizio Gaudino in the 87th minute of a charity game.
Bob Katter
Sometimes a picture can be composed so perfectly, with such an understanding of form and framing and movement, that it flows before your eyes.
Like the Mona Lisa’s smile following you across the room, there is no escaping the image of Bob Katter, neck bulging, as he monsters three young kids at a family game of beach rugby.
No footage seems to exist, but you don’t need it.
Once again for the second year in a row I scored the most number of tries at the annual Katter family holiday. pic.twitter.com/73SPo2bXnf
— Hon Bob Katter MP (@RealBobKatter) April 6, 2016
Tony Abbott
The genuinely athletic Tony Abbott made headlines in 2016, when after being ousted as PM he stole the wave of a 17-year old surfer at Noosa.
The triathlete politician appeared in the surf, “just sitting there on his board, waiting for a wave”, according to Ivy Thomas.
“Because I was on the inside of him and it’s a right-hand break, I technically had right of way … That was supposed to be my wave – but I don’t really mind,” she said.
Abbott also formerly captained his Sydney University rugby team, and made a return to the field in 2018, playing loose-head prop, but was injured after eight minutes.
Donald Trump
Did you know that Donald Trump took part in the WWE in 2007, where he tackled the chairman Vince McMahon before then slowly shaving him bald? I didn’t either.
Scott Morrison
In April, in the middle of the election campaign, Scott Morrison embarked on a sports blitz, picking up, kicking and heading any ball or racquet shaped object that found itself near him.
The pictures were not flattering:
Scott Morrison heads a soccer ball at Manson Park near Adelaide #auspol #AusVotes2019 pic.twitter.com/LEwH8nfPQ8
— Mick Tsikas (@AAPMick) April 23, 2019
I prefer this one.... pic.twitter.com/dGTQjz0NwL
— 💧LubiePhil🌊 🇮🇪🇦🇺 (@lubiephil) April 23, 2019
But oddly, some of the footage was.
Tell you what; this is a pretty solid top bins penalty from @ScottMorrisonMP this morning on the campaign trail @DFS_AUS @TheWorldGame @TheRealALM pic.twitter.com/5A66kHl1vt
— Adrian Arciuli (@Adrian_Arciuli) April 23, 2019
Barack Obama
And finally, to dispel the dozens of failures and embarrassments above, enjoy Barack Obama being very good at basketball.
The 44th president of the United States was an avid player, who won a state championship in college in Hawaii and organised regular games while in office.
