My diagnosis of breast cancer came like a punch to the stomach.
It was like nothing I had ever experienced, coming at a point in my life when I was reflecting on almost five brilliant years as the Member of Parliament for Dewsbury.
A time when I felt I had put in the hard graft and done the best I could to lead the fight, gain the knowledge and confidence to be that strong voice for my little part of West Yorkshire, while championing the change that was so desperately needed on women’s health issues.
Which makes it all the more surreal and ironic that when I was driving in the car to my very first appointment at the breast clinic, having found a lump in the days previous, I found myself listening to the new Chancellor of the Exchequer during his first Budget recognise the work I did as an MP to scrap the unjust tampon tax.
It was surreal because this was praise from the self-same government that had swept me away at the last election.
Ironic because whilst I had campaigned tirelessly to break down barriers, smash stigmas and normalise conversations on women’s health, I suddenly found myself experiencing the same overwhelming shock and denial that so many women had described to me when they heard that fateful diagnosis.
The weeks that followed from that first appointment have been a blur of scans, biopsies, conversations with doctors and nurses who have all each done their bit to guide and support me through this challenging time.
It goes without saying that we are truly lucky to have the NHS and now, more than ever, that is laid bare for us all to see.
Like many I have joined my neighbours on Thursday evenings to applaud the heroic work of frontline NHS staff who are fighting the coronavirus.
Those moments are particularly poignant for me for obvious reasons and it is a stark reminder of the work going on away from the frontline.
I applaud not just those tending to coronavirus patients but other nursing staff - the physiotherapists, the cleaners, the laboratory workers, the administration teams, nurses, doctors, clinicians. Heroes, all of them.
Each ensuring that the day-to-day care continues; be that treating the sick, supporting the vulnerable or being the hand to hold as they so often are.
Up until this point, while I had always felt acutely aware of my responsibility as that powerful voice for women’s health, I am thankful that breast cancer has never touched my family and it had never really dawned on me that I would become the 1 in 7 women affected by it.
As an MP I would go to the ‘Wear It Pink’ Parliamentary events every year and would dress up in the most gaudy pink props and clothes I could find to raise awareness of breast cancer.
I would put on the pink wig, pick up the inflatable guitar and pop on the pink jacket but, like many women, never did I think it would affect me.
The hardest part of my journey so far has been the waiting between tests. So many questions swimming through my head; Is it treatable? Will I lose my breast? Is chemotherapy necessary?
It’s easy and understandable to think that while the NHS is subsumed by COVID-19 that everything else takes a back seat, but that isn’t the case.
It’s worth remembering that much of the day to day activity carries on and those questions that keep people awake at night are still being answered by the very best NHS staff.
While the path has been extremely tough over the last few weeks, and I know it is far from over, I want to use my voice once again to reassure other women across Yorkshire and show that there is hope in uncertain times.
It isn’t easy but the way ahead is lined with the most amazing individuals who prove in their care and actions that you are not alone in this and they will do all they can to get you through it.
The breast cancer nursing team at Pinderfields Hospital have literally been a lifeline for me. Compassionate, patient, pragmatic and kind. All showing that their specialist roles make up an integral part of the NHS family, collectively toiling for the betterment of our nation.
In these challenging and uncertain times, it’s still imperative that us ladies continue to check out those lumps that weren’t there before, look out for the change in skin texture that doesn’t feel right or the night sweats that weren’t there before.
The NHS is here to care for you and the case of early detection and better outcomes is as important as ever.
Of course the next few months are going to be tough but, as I undergo the battery of tests towards the inevitability of the surgeon's scalpel, I know I am moving closer to recovery. One day I will ring that bell and mark the end of a turbulent time in my life.
Until then, I will continue standing up and speaking out for everyone across Yorkshire who is facing tough times, whatever that may be.
Whilst taboos and stigmas still exist around breast cancer and other health issues that we each face, this time I’ll be speaking with the wisdom of personal experience and carry on doing my bit to tackle the injustices we face.
