That pre-Christmas Canberra tradition of enjoying a night of pure 1980s pop majesty at a Cell Block 69 gig won't be happening this year due to an unfortunate incident involving heli-skiing, an avalanche, and, possibly, some skulduggery by Tears for Fears.
But the band of Coreys, Koris, and Koreys will be back on stage in their fav city of "Canberry" in March. They promise.
Cell Block 69's lead singer Duanne Le Corey-Michaels was keeping positive on Sunday despite wearing a moon boot too big for legwarmers as the band rehearsed at Redsun Studios in Fyshwick.
Let's just say the injury was the occupational hazard of being a fabulous rock star. A day out heli-skiing with Duran Duran keyboard player Nick Rhodes and '88 Winter Olympic legend Pirmin Zurbriggen to see the Matterhorn up close. What could go wrong?
Long story short, Duane did successfully jump out of the helicopter and skied so well he put Zurbriggen to shame, only to be caught in an avalanche, escaping a couple of bears, saving a baby down the way and, then, breaking his leg. (Take away the '80s-style excess, and he might have just broken it trying to pull a blind down on a wet deck. But let's not break that fourth wall.)
As a result of Duane being incapacitated, the band's gigs planned for The Basement on December 22 and 23 have been rescheduled to March 23 and 24.
Needless to say, the city's political leaders have taken appropriate action in response.
"As you've probably heard, the Canberra Legislative Assembly has decided to cancel Christmas this year due to Cell Block not being able to perform at the regular, late-December period," Duane said.
"We commend the Legislative Assembly on its decision and think it will be nice to have Christmas in March."
Duane said his advice to Cell Block 69 fans was to just keep wearing fluro until March.
"There has been something of an outpouring of grief. I've tried to stop them all turning into goths," he said.
"The way that people really dealt with grief in the '80s was by putting on black lipstick and black clothing and watching old David Bowie movies and living in dark spaces like cupboards. I had Robert Smith come out and talk to the fans of Canberry and he's a bit like a cautionary tale - 'Look at me, don't go down this road!'."
Cell Block 69 has been around for 22 years, with Duane and Corey RoKK SiXXXxxxXXX two of the original members. All the band members have a name that is a variation of Corey, because what's more '80s than a Corey?
"I suppose the idea is we wrote all of the tunes of the 1980s, we were the ghostwriters for many, many great tunes and, obviously, not much recognition has come our way," he said.
"The [songs] were stolen from us in many ways, whether it was Simon Le Bon being my cabin boy on a yacht as we were sailing around the Caribbean when we composed songs like Rio.
"Or when I was special attache to the United Nations and Tears for Fears, being young interns there, heard me sing, Everybody Wants to Rule the World, when I was just going to the bathroom."
The day of the skiing accident, Duane was in a bit of tizz over "the latest lawsuit with Tears for Fears". Nick Rhodes tried to cheer him up with some adventure skiing in the Swiss Alps.
The avalanche may have been triggered by Duane singing his well-known hit Shout - "I was LETTING IT ALL OUT" - but does anyone know where those Bath belters, Tears for Fear, were on that day?
"They are very good at singing on clifftops, aren't they?" Duane said, suddenly intrigued.
"Interesting. We will investigate. I'll have my people get on to it, right away."
- Tickets to Cell Block 69's March shows are available from oztix.com.au. The link is here.
