Want to be charismatic? You can learn how, according to Richard Reid. While he does not claim he is able to transform a wet lettuce into Barack Obama, the psychologist and coach does believe he can ramp up charisma in everyone.
He is one of a new breed of executive coaches promising to step up your personal wow factor, holding workshops for business clients including EY and Sophos and one-to-one sessions with executives.
But what is charisma? You know it when you see it. It can take your breath away, spur you to action, and make you fall in love. Max Weber, a German sociologist, described it as “a certain quality of an individual personality by virtue of which he is set apart from ordinary men and treated as endowed with supernatural, superhuman, or at least specifically exceptional powers or qualities”.
Said Weber: “These are . . . not accessible to the ordinary person, but are regarded as of divine origin or as exemplary, and on the basis of them the individual concerned is treated as a leader.” Of course, charismatic leaders may be dangerous, like the late cult commander Charles Manson, or demagogues, such as Hitler.
When I visit Mr Reid at his office in a grand Georgian townhouse in Mayfair, he is wearing a sensible blue jumper and casual-smart trousers and appears confident and engaging, rather than superhuman. Is he charismatic? “I can connect with people,” he says. “Confident in my own skin, I don’t need to put people down [and can] manage my emotions.”
Today there will be no lessons in demagoguery. In fact, he has never encountered a proto-Hitler in his workshops. “They tend to think they know everything . . . [they’re] cynical, narcissistic.” His brand of charisma is the good type, he insists, rather than vainglorious manipulation.
Charisma by Mr Reid’s definition is far more humdrum than Weber’s, reflecting a division between organisational psychologists on the one hand, and sociologists.
The latter include media researcher John Potts, author of A History of Charisma, who believes it cannot be taught because it is a “special, innate quality that sets certain individuals apart and draws others to them”. It is a rare quality found only in a very few leaders.
He has found charisma applied to things like books, films, buildings, even a sandwich. “It is used particularly in advertising as a synonym for ‘special’.” Professor Potts is profoundly sceptical of the self-help books and consultants promising ways to increase your charisma, deeming them to be “likely illusory”.
Others, such as John Antonakis, professor of organisational behaviour at the University of Lausanne, are of the view that it can be learnt. An article for , co-authored by Professor Antonakis, states that: “Charisma is not all innate; it’s a learnable skill or, rather, a set of skills that have been practised since antiquity.” Anyone can learn “charismatic leadership tactics”, to become more influential.
Mr Reid draws on this everyday charisma that reflects emotional intelligence, projects confidence and gravitas and exudes warmth. Sales staff need it. So do business leaders, if they want their employees to get behind them.
In fact, everyone could do with charisma to stand out, argues Mr Reid. And in an automated future we will all have to play to our human strengths.
People seek him out at times of stress or crisis — perhaps an impending speech, missing out on a promotion, or just a feeling they are not taken seriously at work. He has even counselled a lovelorn man whose dates were going awry. The fact he was delivering memorised stand-up routines turned out to be the problem.
I try a whirlwind lesson in charisma. I am good at building rapport — as a journalist it is a helpful skill for interviewing people. Public speaking, though, makes me nervous and I rush to get to the end. The comedian Jerry Seinfeld’s observation rings true: most “people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death . . . This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” I also have an English tendency to not take myself seriously, which undermines the gravitas.
Mr Reid’s first exercise is asking me to deliver an unrehearsed 60-second sales pitch about myself. Brain freeze sets in. I just about remember my name and my job, then I get desperate.
“I’m a mum, I’m a stepmum.” (Just wait for my memoirs.) His criticism is not, amazingly, how dull my life is but that I am inanimate. Instead of clasping my hands, I should use them to energise my delivery and reinforce my points. He demonstrates, opening his hand and dropping it in a chopping motion. “It’s about being purposeful,” he says.
Often we allow our emotions to override our performance and impede our interactions with others
He points out that my sentences have begun to go up at the end as if I am seeking reassurance, or have become Australian. I rehearse putting them together and with so many things to think about I sound like a robot. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse, is the advice.
Next I try a confidence exercise. I close my eyes and focus on my breath, to shut down the negative thoughts and focus on a scene that will calm my swirling brain. Mr Reid suggests thinking of a relaxing holiday. I remember my last child-free holiday — which immediately makes me think I am a terrible mother. “Often we allow our emotions to override our performance and impede our interactions with others,” he says. We are on safer ground when he suggests I think of an article I am proud to have written. “It’s about polishing the edges of who you are,” he says.
Charisma, says Mr Reid, is a catch-all term to attract executives keen to understand what inhibits their progress. “I can talk to people with no interest in psychology and they will all have ideas on who’s got it and who hasn’t,” he says. “Psychology is relevant to everybody, but lots of people have misconceptions about it and are wary.”
After my session I felt better able to accentuate the positives in my own life and achievements. But perhaps not yet equipped to command the masses.
Watch a video of Emma’s lesson at ft.com/work-careers
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