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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

Can I ask my depressed girlfriend to move out?

Photo posed by models
‘I can’t see an end in sight’ (Photo posed by models). Photograph: Mediaphotos/Getty Images

I’ve been with my girlfriend for three years – she is in her 30s, I am in my early 40s. After six months of dating, she moved in. Within the next few months it was clear she was depressed – and had been all through her teens and her 20s. I have persuaded her to see doctors and therapists, but nothing seems to be helping. Along with this our sex life has diminished, with no sexual contact for six months. I can’t see any end in sight and feel as if I am going to be trapped in a sexless relationship. Is it awful to think about ending this relationship – and having to ask her to leave – while she is depressed?

• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments which appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments).

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