It's fairly clear that hip-hop's socially conscious flame burnt out a long time ago. Hip-hop is no longer the black CNN, more the black Tarrant Lets the Kids Loose. What hip-hop needs more than anything is a kick in the pants from a brave new hero who's unafraid to tell it exactly like it is. Well, that hero is here. Ladies and gentlemen, straight out of a fictional yet aspirational upper-middle-class 1980s sitcom, it's Bill Cosby.
Next month sees the release of a CD entitled Bill Cosby Presents the Cosnarati: State of Emergency, a hip-hop concept album that sets out to "tackle such social issues as self-respect, peer pressure, abuse and education... that doesn't rely on profanity, misogyny, materialism or ego exercise".
Now, before you start conjuring up mental images of Bill in a sideways-facing baseball cap spitting lyrics with an alarm clock around his neck, you should probably know that he doesn't actually rap on any of the tracks. It's upsetting, but it might be for the best – searing bolts of social commentary probably work better when they're not burbled out by an adorable old man with a pudding fixation and a large collection of nice jumpers.
Instead, Cosby's sentiments get filtered through three young rappers on songs such as Where Did I Go Wrong, Dad's Behind the Glass and Get On Your Job, which sounds worryingly like it could be the rap equivalent of Mick Jagger's infamous 1987 anti-unemployment synth-pop extravaganza Let's Work.
On paper it's genuinely bizarre – it's possibly the weirdest premise for a hip-hop album since Urban Renewal: Featuring the Songs of Phil Collins was released in 2001. And off paper it's not much better either, as anyone who's tried wading through all four toe-curling minutes of the title track State of Emergency ("This whole world needs surgery") will attest.
But it's important to remember that Bill Cosby Presents the Cosnarati: State of Emergency isn't the first time that Cosby has decided to try to save the world using the most berserk materials available to him. Who could forget, for instance, his 1971 magnum opus Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs, featuring such whacked-out psyche-rock classics as Dope Pusher and Captain Junkie ("Falling off of park benches! Bumping into bowls! Dropping glasses in the middle of company!")? Or his effortlessly Shatner-esque 1968 LP Bill Cosby Sings Hooray for the Salvation Army Band! and its avant garde cover versions of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction? Classics, in their way, but not exactly world-changing.
So it's fair to say that the odds are stacked against Cosby if he wants State of Emergency to make an impact. But you know what? I'm rooting for him. Because if Bill Cosby can make this a success, then there's every chance that someone in the UK will record an equivalent – say, Jimmy Tarbuck Presents Lethal Bizzle: I Blame the Parents.
