Preamble: After three weeks of football and far more entertainment than a Super Sunday the African Cup of Nations has come down to these two: the Indomitable Lions and the Pharaohs. A week ago it looked far more likely to be Ghana against Ivory Coast, but two semi-final upsets have brought us the current champions Egypt and the four-time champions Cameroon into the final. Excited? I think you will be.
You again? For those that aren't already way ahead of me, these teams did, of course, meet in the group stage, when Egypt handed out one hell of a beating to Cameroon. Could this happen again? GU's Paul Doyle seems to think so but, as the semi-finals showed, never trust the predictions of a journalist. I think Egypt will win 3-1 though.
The teams aren't through yet but I can tell you that one notable appearance today will be Samuel Ashia. Who's he? The medical man that Andre Bikey pushed over at the end of Cameroon's semi-final. And, while Bikey will be kicking his heels, Ashia is set to be on duty. What a trooper.
An email: "When events like this roll round, someone (usually with a vested interest in selling advertising) claims that one billion people will be watching. Is it the same one billion people every time? Do they fill in a timesheet? Are they the one billion people who use Google every day too?" writes Gary Naylor. I can confirm that we will be counting the viewers of this minute-by-minute one-by-one and we are hopeful that it will indeed be 1billion (NB accurate to the nearest billion).
The teams: Cameroon: 1-Idriss Carlos Kameni; 3-Bill Tchato, 8-Geremi, 4-Rigobert Song, 5-Timothee Atouba; 10-Achille Emana, 15-Alexandre Song, 19-Stephane Mbia, 14-Joel Epalle; 12-Alain Nkong, 9-Samuel Eto'o
Egypt: 1-Essam Al Hadari; 5-Shady Mohamed, 6-Hani Said, 20-Wael Gomaa, 14-Sayed Moawad; 8-Hosni Abd Rabou, 7-Ahmed Fathi, 17-Ahmed Hassan, 22-Mohamed Aboutrika; 10-Emad Moteab, 19-Amr Zaki
Referee: Coffi Cojia (Benin)
The anthems: All the players get to meet Sepp Blatter (lucky devils) and then we have the anthems. Egypt first, a rousing number with a slightly jaunty edge. Then Cameroon, a far more up-beat tune. 1-0 to Cameroon.
And we are go, go, go! Egypt kick-off right to left with a long ball. Goal kick to Cameroon.
2 mins: Mbia tries to get Epalle through over the top but the Cuba Gooding Jr lookalike is offside.
3 mins: Geremi gets space on the right and whips it in long and high to the far post. Eto'o gets on the end of it and heads it against Mohamed. Should be corner. It isn't though, for some reason.
4 mins: The camera cuts to Bikey, who Mark Bright seems to think is 'unlucky' not to be playing in this final. This grass is longer than one of Garth Crooks' questions, the ball is bobbling about all over the place. Not ideal for Egypt's passing game.
6 mins: Egypt charge through the middle with Aboutrika but he is brought down about 30 yards from goal. The free-kick is bent straight into Kameni's grateful hands.
8 mins Moawad comes forward down the left and gets the smallest sight of goal. All too tempting and he drives a shot at Kameni that was never going to go in.
11 mins: Geremi gets to the touchline and floats in a high ball, Al Hadari - who was excellent in the semi - fumbles it but it's cleared. At the other end Kameni decides to kick instead of picking the ball up and the ball falls to Zaki. He hits it first time and it goes way, way over.
12 mins: Another strike from distance for Egypt, this time it's Aboutrika and Kameni has to tip it around the post. This seems to be some sort of early gameplan, but so far I'm not sure why.
14 mins: Cameroon are trying to make an early change, Alex Song is injured. But there is some sort of problem with substitute Binya's paperwork apparently, how odd. Suddenly all is ok and the substitution goes ahead. Song is gutted.
17 mins: Emana surges forward and is brought down about 35 yards out, very central. Eto'o will take it. Or not, Geremi hits it. It's on target but it is easily claimed by Al Hadari.
19 mins: Moteab gets free in the area but his shot is blocked well by Kameni, it then falls to Aboutrika who blasts it over the bar when he should have done better. The best chance so far.
21 mins: Aboutrika has another half-chance. Steaming in on Kameni from the right he puts it over the bar. Egypt are starting to take control here.
23 mins: Geremi gets space on the right for the third time, but his cross is nothing to write home about.
25 mins: Not for the first time Gary Naylor has done my job for me and provided a YouTube link for Andre Bikey's moment of shame in the semi-final.
26 mins: Cameroon break three-on-three but Emana bottles it and just kicks the ball straight to Gomea. Poor.
28 mins: Both sides looking a little ragged. "I thought Egypt were playing in the final, but it seems Man U have speedily changed their position about playing matches abroad," writes Ian Copestake, presumably referring to Egypt's kit (or lack of cohesion today). I predict they will have a better day than United, Ian.
31 mins: This has lost its way a little bit, Cameroon are more than willing to pump it down the right to Epalle, a more than willing runner. But it's not getting them anywhere so far.
34 mins: Moawad is pushed off the ball by Geremi and Egypt get a free-kick in a useful position on the left. It is flicked on by Moawad but cleared by Mbia. Eto'o then gets some space and cruises past Mohamed before screwing his shot wide.
35 mins: Excellent chance. Moteab is set free over the top but blasts his shot straight at Kameni, who is in the way so couldn't fail to save it. A very good chance but he went for power over placement.
38 mins: Eto'o and Al Hadari collide and it looks painful for the Egypt goalkeeper but he gets up to carry on.
40 mins: Mbia collides in the air with Rabou and Egypt get the chance to float the ball into the box. Or indeed shoot for goal from all of 40 yards. Zaki's shot flies over the bar.
42 mins: Fathi loops the ball into the box from the left and Song (Rigobert, obviously, he's the only one left on the pitch) hooks it behind. The referee misses that though and awards a goal kick.
44 mins: Epalle goes in quite late on Moawab and injures himself into the bargain. He'll be ok, but I can't see him returning in the first-half, of which there is two minutes more to go for injuries and the like.
45 + 1 mins: Epalle is back on but sadly for Cameroon they don't get the chance to play with 11 men, Atouba has done a hammy. And there goes another one, Mbia is down too. I hope Paul Jewell is watching, this is what you call an injury crisis, a new player going down in pain every minute.
Peep! And that's half-time. A good half if not spectacular. I have seen a lot of finals that have been a lot worse than that.
After a half-time cup of tea and custard cream (life in the fast lane) I'm back and prepared for the second-half. I'm looking forward to this. Egypt should really take it but I have a sneaking suspicion that Eto'o could nick a goal and somehow the tournament for Cameroon.
And away we go again Cameroon get us started, no changes so obviously those injuries weren't as bad as first feared.
46 mins: Zaki is given offside when released over the top. Very marginal. He still had a lot to do though.
48 mins: Eto'o almost plays in Nkong but he miscontrols it. Binga with a long throw that Al Hadari misses completely and in the ensuing scramble Egypt get a predicable free-kick. Why do the defending team always get the benefit of the doubt?
50 mins: Moawad brought down on the edge of the Cameroon box but no free-kick. Looked like one to me but there's no replay to check.
51 mins: Zaki fires the ball across the box and Kameni has to palm it away. Eto'o then earns a corner for Cameroon that is wasted by Mbia.
54 mins: Corner to Egypt, the ball comes out to Fathi, whose shot deflects off Mbia for another corner. This one is headed behind again by Song. The third one comes out to Hosni, whose shot is tipped around the post at full stretch by Kameni.
56 mins: A change for Cameroon. Emana replaced by Idrissou, forward coming on for midfielder. Idrissou's first touch is really quite terrible going 20 yards out for a goal kick.
58 mins: Geremi misjudges a bouncing ball and Aboutrika takes up a great position but is missed by the pass. Zidan is warming up for Egypt, brace yourselves.
60 mins: Here's Zidan, on for Moteab. What can he do?
62 mins: A cross from the right and Hosni is left unmarked on far side of the penalty area but his header bounces back off the base of the post. So close. Atouba then picks up the game's first booking.
65 mins: Epalle is coming off, on comes Mbami. That's Cameroon's final substitution, in a game that could go to extra-time that is a bit of a gamble from Pfister.
67 mins: It is boiling, all the players are dripping with sweat. Both teams are getting quite cagey, it's that 'too much to lose' stage of the final where neither team wants to take a chance.
69 mins: Zidan, who has hardly touched the ball since coming on is caught offside from a long through-ball. This is getting very tense, I'm starting to think extra time might be on the cards.
72 mins: Moawad is down injured, bodychecked by Mbia. Nope, he's fine, just having a little rest.
74 mins: Ball floated into the box and Idrissou is running onto it but Said gets a very important header to take it away from him.
GOAL! Egypt 1-0 Cameroon (Aboutrika 76) Rigobert Song dallies on the ball and ends up being chased towards his own goal by Zidan. He disposses Song and squares the ball to Aboutrika to put it the into the net. All the Egyptians pile into the net in celebration. A nightmare for Song, it was 100% his fault.
80 mins: Geremi whips it in from the right but it is too close to Al Hadari, who claims the ball.
82 mins: The ball is played up towards the Egypt area, flicked off Eto'o and it strikes Said on the hand. Everyone appeals for handball but instead a free-kick is given to Egypt. There can be no reason at all for that, bizarre.
84 mins: Desperate times for Cameroon, Eto'o has pulled his hamstring but is playing on anyway. A corner from Geremi bounces around the area, no one can get to it until Binya shoots tamely into Al Hadari's hands.
86 mins: A slide-rule pass into Nkong who strikes it across Al Hadari, but the Egypt keeper is equal to it. A great chance and a good save.
88 mins: Long high balls from Cameroon now, and they get a free-kick on the halfway-line which will almost certainly be pumped into the box. Aboutrika off and Ibrahim on for Egypt and the free-kick bounces through to Al Hadari.
90 mins: Egypt break with Fathi on the right but they don't make anything of it and surrender the ball. Four minutes of stoppage time.
90 + 2 mins: High ball forward to Mbia who chests it down but volleys over the top. Was that Cameroon's last chance?
90 + 3 mins: Geremi beats his man and angles the ball into the box and who is there but Rigobert Song. Can he make up for his earlier error? Nope, he heads it over the bar.
Peep peep peeeeep! Cue cheers and celebration: That's it, full time, Egypt are the champions.
There are huge scenes of celebration and despair, side-by-side as is tradition. Song is understandably distraught, meanwhile Egyptians are climbing over the goals and celebrating wildly. It was a cruel goal but overall they deserved it.
Egypt lift the trophy and the curtain comes down on a great tournament. Not a classic final but the right team won. That's it from me, cheers for your emails
