For a snapshot of how Joey Bradbury and Rowan Martin picture the Rhythm Method’s new album blending the last few decades’ worth of popular culture, look no further than the way they’ve described themselves on Twitter. They are the Rhythm Method AKA, they’ve claimed, Facebook Status Quo, Morecambe and Dennis Wise, Paul Young Thug, Armitage Shanks & Bigfoot, ASOS Rocky, The Cardi B Gees, Sigur Ros Kemp, Stock Aitken & Dennis Waterman, and the Janet Street Preachers.
While they are all this and more (and, the self-effacing pair would likely argue, significantly less), modern Britain’s greatest pop duo (under-40s category) owe everything to a more established London-based pairing. While young Rowan wrote his first melodies over his parents’ Chas & Dave records, 10-year-old Joey was putting on performances of Eminem’s My Name Is, unaware that it sampled the guitar and bass of both Chas and Dave.
As for history’s other most iconic duos? Join us in a pub garden in the flightpath of a south-west London helipad as Rowan and Joey explore the notion that it does indeed take two to make a thing both go right and be out of sight.
Piers Morgan and Susanna Reid
Joey I’m Piers Morgan, the loud-mouthed arsehole.
Rowan While I, as Susanna, am merely tolerating him. Who likes Piers Morgan? I’ve never met anyone who likes Piers Morgan.
Joey The whole echo chamber thing is seen as a negative, isn’t it? But maybe echo chambers are good. Maybe I don’t need to see that shit.
Holmes and Watson
Joey I really like the Cumberbatch series – I’m a Cumberbitch. I met Martin Freeman once, when I used to work in a barbershop in Soho, and shampooed his hair.
Rowan How was he?
Joey Miserable. It was the day of The Hobbit premiere. I shampooed his hair: no tip. Dermot O’Leary, though, is lovely. The second time he remembered my name and what we’d talked about last time. Obviously it’s a professional nice guy thing, but he does seem genuinely nice.
Richard and Judy
Rowan I have a morbid fascination with Madeley, particularly his novels. The first one was about a psychopathic Spitfire pilot. The second begins with a modern-day crucifixion scene IN THE COTSWOLDS! He’s a great example of the truth being stranger than fiction; much more Partridge than Partridge could ever be. A compellingly weird man. A decent guy, but petty. Absolutely hilarious.
Cagney and Lacey
Rowan WHAT a theme tune.
Cameron and Clegg
Rowan I’m Clegg, he’s Cameron.
Joey Again, I’d be the arsehole. Although I was completely heartbroken when Clegg had the opportunity to make a coalition with Labour. He was like: “The Conservatives got more votes”, but fuck that! Fuck that all! Even Blair’s Labour would have been the better option; Blair might be a war criminal but even he wasn’t going out of his way to starve people in our country.
Jedward
Rowan I was the bouncer at my sister’s 18th birthday. I was getting into the zone, establishing my authority and practising lines like: “You’re out of order” and, “That’s way out of line”. Then the first kids who turned up looked at me and just went: “It’s Jedward”. It destroyed me.
The Twix
Joey I adore a Twix.
Rowan We’re a Twix band. We’d do a deal with Twix in a heartbeat.
Joey We’re desperate for an endorsement. We’re very eager to sell out, and have no qualms whatsoever. I heard Fat White Family turned down £300,000 to use one of their songs on an easyJet advert. Why would you turn that down? Cos it doesn’t fit in with your image? Fuck that!
DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince
Joey Did you see that trailer someone made for a dramatic retelling The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? It was basically like The OC. The thing is, it could never compare to the drama of the original comedy, where his dad leaves. That’s pure drama. Comedies throughout history have always been good at that. Is Line of Duty exploring the human condition as well as Porridge did? No.
Rowan In dramas you see actors desperate to cry, but that’s not how people cry in real life is it? People try not to cry.
Joey I’ve only ever cried in my friends’ arms a couple of times, and that’s probably due to ketamine, to be frank.
The Rhythm Method’s album How Would You Know I Was Lonely? is out now
