ALL ABOARD THE SPY BUS!
While last weekend’s Sky Sports Super Sunday was rather a damp squib featuring Cardiff City and Burnley, the absence of braying American losers and the supporters who convene to cheer them on as they play golf across the network means the channel have been forced to up their game and put on a comparative fireworks display this time around. While Chelsea and Arsenal are expected to swat Southampton and Fulham aside on the undercard, the outcome of their games will be quickly forgotten, drowned out by the crescendo of hype surrounding the main event. A clash in which defending champions and title favourites Manchester City take on a Liverpool side who many people think might be in with a shout of preventing their rivals from winning the league by more than 10 points.
In All Or Nothing, the hard-hitting documentary created by Manchester City’s propaganda wing that is available on Amazon Prime, Pep Guardiola stated that Liverpool’s front three players “scare me” and he has every right to be afraid of a team managed by perhaps the only manager in world football that has his measure. Jürgen Klopp is one of very few peers who has won more often than he has lost against Guardiola, not that it made a huge difference in the last campaign when his team contrived to collect nine points out of 18 against teams that ended up being relegated. As the early signs this season suggest such carelessness has finally been eliminated, Sunday’s match, while still very early in the season, takes on added significance.
In a bid to ensure there is no repeat of the ugly scenes that marred City’s last visit to Anfield, a huge amount of the pre-match publicity has been devoted to the ugly scenes that marred City’s last visit to Anfield. On that occasion, in Big Cup, a Liverpool “welcome committee” pelted the team coach with beer bottles, flares and other missiles, shattering one window and causing thousands of pounds’ worth of damage. With not a single arrest made in the subsequent police investigation and City losing the game, the incentive for a repeat performance seems quite high.
However, in a turn of events that wouldn’t look out of a place in a pacy primetime BBC drama written by Jed Mercurio, City have stopped just short of announcing they’ll be employing several decoy buses, but say they won’t be revealing which route they’ll be taking. As a further precaution, they will also be equipping their conveyance with what are breathlessly being reported across assorted media outlets as “spy cameras”. Able to swivel, zoom in and out, and even take pictures, these modern-day surveillance devices are more commonly known as … “cameras”. It seems it’s not just the match itself, but the security surrounding it, that’s being hyped to within an inch of its life.
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Join John Ashdown from 8pm BST for hot MBM coverage of Brighton 0-0 West Ham.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Felt good to score the equaliser and winner but without the lads the comeback wouldn’t of [sic] been possible” – Halesowen Town striker Emlyn Tudgay ever-so-slightly underplays one of the great football fightbacks after the Yeltz [us neither – Fiver Ed] battled back from 7-2 down after an hour played against Nuneaton Borough to win 9-8 in their FA Youth Cup second-round qualifying tie.
PICTURE OF THE DAY
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FIVER LETTERS
“Having revelled in the almost monotonous successes of the Lord Ferg era at Manchester United, at the beginning of this season I thought: time for a change. Support a team that doesn’t expect to win. One that measures its wellbeing by points above the relegation zone and celebrates a point away from home. Thanks José, I’ll keep the scarf, then” – John D’Arcy.
“Your reference in yesterday’s Fiver to John (better known as Jack) Reynolds as a ‘chancer’ perhaps does one of the most talented footballers of his generation a disservice. He is in fact (barring own goals) the only player to have scored both for and against England. He won the FA Cup with West Brom in 1892, played a key role in Aston Villa’s successful 1890s team, winning three English titles and two FA Cups, with a double in 1897. Described as a ‘notorious lothario’ because of his gambling and womanising, he was the bad-boy footballer of his day. Just the sort of player The Fiver would love to be making column inches today” – John Myles.
“As 19th century German idealist philosopher Georg Hegel once almost famously said: ‘What experience and history teach is this, that people, governments and Newcastle United staff have never learned anything from history, or acted on principles deduced from it’” – Noble Francis.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … John Myles.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Nike says it is “deeply concerned” about the rape allegations made against Cristiano Ronaldo. Juventus decided to tweet that he is a “great champion”.
Phil Neville will allow England captain Steph Houghton to choose whether or not to play in their forthcoming friendlies after her husband Stephen Darby was diagnosed with motor neurone disease.
José Mourinho continued his cold war with the north-west’s football reporters on Friday, getting everyone out of bed for his 8am press conference then fielding six questions, answering five, before proceedings came to a close.
Crystal Palace manager Mr Roy wants Ruben Loftus-Cheek back, wants him back, wants him back … yeah he wants him back for good. “I’m sure when the day comes when he becomes available for transfer, we will be sticking our noses into that,” he purred.
Germany manager Jogi Lurrrrrrvvve has called up Schalke’s Mark Uth, while Mario Balotelli has been left out of Roberto Mancini’s Italy squad.
Former The Biggest Loser (Australia) coach Dwight Yorke has thrown his hat into the Aston Villa job vacancy ring. “I feel the club need something new going forward,” he said, somewhat overlooking his near 300 games for the club.
And Neil Warnock has his eyes on a buon natale alla Italia with Mrs Warnock if Cardiff show him to the door marked Gwnewch Un. “What’s the worst scenario? I could go away with Sharon to Italy or somewhere and have a nice, relaxed Christmas,” he cheered.
STILL WANT MORE?
Unai Emery’s quiet revolution at Arsenal is reaping early rewards, reckons David Hytner.
Sunderland manager Jack Ross gets his chat on about books and goats with Louise Taylor.
One man and his dog. Two tickets to paradise. Three is the magic number. Four seasons in one day. Five gold rings. Six feet under. Seven deadly sins. Eight days a week. Nine-inch nails. Ten things to look out for in the Premier League this weekend.
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