Right, I’m off. It’s been unforgettable. If you haven’t watched the match, and haven’t read enough about it, here’s Paul Wilson’s match report to sate your appetite:
Jack Cork, the official man of the match, talks:
We knew it was always going to be a tough game. They’re an organised team now. But we had a good shape, worked hard and we got rewards for it. We knew they did take risks at times, and we know at home we can nick it and maybe get something. That’s where the goal came from. It was definitely something we looked at before. You can see we’re a team evolving and a team doing well. [Sean Dyche] has been great for me. He’s a man who just wants everything from you. He wants hard work and honesty at all times. It’s good. Nice, relaxed and a good atmosphere to be in.
Goatee latest: the post-match ad for Barber Club by L’Oreal – “beard care made simple” – was surely not coincidental.
Burnley go seventh while Newcastle drop to ninth, the two clubs thus representing the bread in a Watford sandwich.
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Final score: Burnley 1-0 Newcastle
90+4 mins: And that is very much that.
90+3 mins: The corner is headed clear, Elliot sprints back again, Shelvey re-crosses and Manquillo’s flicked header loops over the bar.
90+3 mins: Pope makes another save! Hayden drives the ball at goal from 25 yards, and Pope has to turn it round the post. Elliot comes up for the corner...
90+1 mins: But for that Perez 20-yarder that Pope saved, at no stage have Newcastle looked remotely like actually scoring. “Players A, B and C sound a lot like X, Y and Z whom I used to play with. But that was a long time ago, on the local park,” writes Geoff.
90+1 mins: There will be something in the region of three minutes of stoppage time.
89 mins: Moments later, Barnes (I think) has another shot when slightly off balance, which goes 30 yards in the air and 25 yards in the wrong direction.
89 mins: Burnley string four passes together and are rewarded with a fine, low shot from Barnes that Elliot saves.
86 mins: Shelvey, from 20 yards, hits a low, hard shot straight at Pope.
85 mins: Player A hits a random ball forward, player B heads it away, player C heads it back to player B, player B heads it back to player C again, and player C overhits a pass forward.
83 mins: Newcastle’s final change involves Dwight Gayle coming on for Diame.
82 mins: Ooooh! Yedlin passes to Joselu, just outside the area, whose shot goes through Tarkowski’s legs and just wide.
81 mins: Newcastle work the ball about for a bit, finally getting it to Murphy on the right, who lets it dribble tamely into touch.
79 mins: A second change for Newcastle, for whom Jacob Murphy replaces Ritchie.
77 mins: The thing is, I watched Stoke on Saturday and my football-entertainment-bar is now set extraordinarily low.
@Simon_Burnton It sounds as though you're being quite well entertained by a quite poor game. I've been there too but how does that work?
— Flatpack Jersey (@Flatpack_Jersey) October 30, 2017
76 mins: And Burnley bring Ashley Westwood on and take Defour off.
76 mins: Newcastle, in response, bring Isaac Hayden on for Ayoze Perez.
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GOAL! Burnley 1-0 Newcastle (Hendrick, 74 mins)
74 mins: Cork bursts into the box and shoots low, but Elliot pushes it wide to Gudmundsson, whose cross finds Hendrick all alone at the back post, and he brings the ball down and boshes it in.
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A GOAL! THERE'S BEEN A SHOT AND IT'S GONE IN!
74 mins: Do not adjust your sets.
72 mins: I don’t think anyone has kicked the ball in the direction they were intending to kick it for at least two minutes. Burnley pushed forward; Yedlin won the ball back nicely but then a very poor touch gave it away; Burnley pushed again; a cross was headed to Cork; and his shot was very clearly and emphatically deflected well wide. The referee, brain addled by all this nonsense, gave a goal kick.
70 mins: I wouldn’t describe what Burnley are doing currently as pressure exactly, but they are having the better of things.
69 mins: Defour has a shot from range, which should please the fans, but it hits a defender and flies wide.
66 mins: Lascelles cynically halts a Burnley attack with a foul in midfield, but does it so well he avoids a booking. “What would Mike Dean look like with a beard? I don’t have the best imagination so I can’t picture it,” ponders JR in Illinois. “Another thing I can’t picture is a goal being scored in this game.” A bit like this, perhaps? He looks a bit Ed Harrisy to me. And a bit Jasper Carrotty.
63 mins: Cork tugs Ritchie by an arm inside the centre circle and gets booked for his troubles.
58 mins: “My main observation (and I hoped this helps) is that it would be a help to Burnley if Hendrick would stop being off-side,” suggests Ian Copestake. Yes, this would probably be handy.
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56 mins: The injury was followed by a couple of minutes of awkward passing about by Newcastle, who didn’t seem to want to put the ball out of play but at the same time couldn’t actually attack because one of their players was very much offside, lying down in the middle of goal, six yards out. Eventually the referee called a halt to the charade, so they’ll restart, perhaps appropriately, with a dropped ball.
55 mins: Joselu tries to close down Pope as the Burnley goalkeeper dallies on the ball. Eventually Pope pulls back his right foot, launches the ball up-field and, in his follow through, whacks the rushing Joselu in the knackers. Now that’s got to hurt.
52 mins: Another save! No diving this time, mind. Burnley hoist a free-kick into the area and Tarkowski runs onto it at the far post and heads powerfully at goal, but straight at Elliot.
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50 mins: A goalkeeper has had to dive! Perez’s curling shot from 20 yards was heading inside the far post, but Pope dived to his left to push it wide! Incredible scenes!
48 mins: Burnley are on the front foot. Defour intercepts a clearance, ignores the fans’ pleas for him to shoot – from fully 40 yards – and instead chips the ball into the penalty area, where Hendrick is offside.
46 mins: Newcastle get it started.
I haven’t got a lot to say about the fist half, but fret not – we’re about to get the second one!
Half time: Burnley 0-0 Newcastle
45+2 mins: Not a terrible half, but certainly not a good one. Both teams are trying to attack, they’re just not doing it very well.
45+1 mins: There will be one minute of first-half stoppage time.
45 mins: A booking! Gudmundsson gets cautioned for pulling the shirt of the other team’s No17, Perez.
44 mins: Newcastle keep the ball for a while, playing it around quite nicely really. Eventually they work it to Yedlin on the right, whose cross goes straight to Pope.
41 mins: The ball drops to Atsu, just inside the penalty area, but his low shot is driven straight into Lowton.
39 mins: “It really annoys me when teams change unnecessarily into Away kit (viz Chelsea on Saturday and a million others),” writes Neil Truby. “But not as much as when they don’t. The teams tonight are indistinguishable on what passes for Sky normal definition here in rural Somerset.” Really? I don’t like kits with stripes on the back – it makes it very hard to read names and numbers – but black shorts and socks can be quite easily distinguished from light blue shorts and socks on my TV.
36 mins: Ritchie’s ball to Perez looks momentarily interesting, at least until the linesman raises his flag. Replays show he actually wasn’t offside, but Pope would have got to the ball first.
34 mins: So then. Beards, eh? Aren’t they, like, interesting and stuff?
31 mins: Oooh! Brady’s cross is again not great, but Yedlin’s attempt to head clear instead sends it looping into the heart of the penalty area, from where Barnes heads wide.
29 mins: We have another terrible cross, this one so bad it nearly plops into goal. It’s from Brady, and it loops up and almost over Elliot’s head, but the keeper scurries back in time to catch it on the line.
28 mins: Yedlin crosses from the right, and Pope’s catch is uncontested. We’ve easily had an entire game’s worth of terrible crosses already.
26 mins: Another free kick, to Burnley this time. It’s flicked on and Tarkowski runs onto it and, from almost on the byline, volleys into the side netting.
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25 mins: Shelvey obviously thought it shouldn’t even have been a free kick, judging by the way he gave the ball straight back to Burnley.
24 mins: Joselu is challenged by Brady. It seems like a tardy challenge rather than a particularly violent one, but Joselu screams and rolls around clutching his ankle for a while anyway.
23 mins: After a very promising opening 10 minutes, the last bit has been less impressive. Ward crosses from the left, and Elliot catches again.
20 mins: The ball has spent the last couple of minutes being kicked up and down Burnley’s right flank and Newcastle’s left, to little effect.
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17 mins: A save! Not a very difficult one, but still! Atsu passes to Shelvey, who from 20 yards lashes the ball goalwards. It’s right at Pope, but he still does pretty well to take the pace off the ball, pat it down and then pick it up.
16 mins: Perez’s excellent pass finds Atsu scurrying between two defenders and into the area, but the latter’s control isn’t quite good enough to turn the situation into a clear chance.
14 mins: Shelvey’s excellent pass releases Yedlin – who is enormously and worryingly quicker than Ward – into an astonishing amount of space on the right. Pope catches his cross.
13 mins: Another high cross, from Lowton this time, and Elliot, who has already had quite a bit of catching practise, catches.
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11 mins: And Atsu has a chance! The ball hits Diame, bobbles about a bit and falls to Atsu, who clumps it first-time over the bar from close range.
10 mins: Atsu bursts down the left and his cross is turned behind, giving Newcastle a corner of their own.
7 mins: It’s headed on by Mee to Hendrick, whose random high ball – Burnley’s balls into the box so far have been really high, as if they’ve been told that Elliot particularly dislikes that kind of delivery – is fumbled by Elliot at the far post. The ball goes behind, and the corner comes to nothing.
6 mins: Ashley Barnes wins a free kick on the half-way line, and Burnley prepare to hoist the ball back into the mixer. “As an Ireland supporter looking ahead to the play-offs against Denmark, this game has CALAMITY written all over it,” wibbles Justin Kavanagh. “Three boys in green, facing a team with a hot-head like Jonjo Shelvey scything into tackles all over the place. Never mind the face-furniture of the managers, I just hope the Irish players survive this with all their limbs intact. A nervous 90 ahead!”
5 mins: This time Newcastle win the header, and a feeble, high cross back into the area is collected by Elliot.
4 mins: Hendrick’s header from the corner flicks off Shelvey’s boot and goes wide. Another corner coming.
3 mins: Now Burnley have won a corner. Quite the start for them – a goal is perhaps overdue.
2 mins: A lovely little skip in midfield carries Cork between and away from two opponents, and then Elliot nervously comes for his cross, thinks better of it and instead just wobbles nervously in the middle of his area, but Burnley can’t profit from his poor positioning.
1 min: Peeeeeep! Burnley get the match under way, and Newcastle contrive to give away a free kick within nine seconds, and concede a shooting chance within 40, Hendrick running onto a knock-down and shooting wide.
Preliminaries completed. Action imminent.
The players are out, and we are but a few handshakes, some coin-tossing, an ad break and a minute’s silence away from watching football!
A bit of non-beardy managerial chit-chat. Sean Dyche says:
I’m very proud. The work has been done by a number of people. I have to leave it, but my staff, different playing groups and the board. Newcastle have had a good start, as have we. They’re organised, willing to work for each other as a team. I’d imagine it’ll be a tight game, but you never quite know. I think we’ve moved on slightly [from last season]. Some of our performances have been very good, particularly here. You’ve got to find a way of winning games. Performances are important within that, so we look for a performance level that will get us what we want.
And Rafael Benitez says:
How have we done well? By working hard every week. Having the belief that we could do well. With players doing what they have to do. Today we have to try to be a unit when we are defending, try to be compact, and when we are attacking try to be as quick as we can and then play well with the ball. We know it will be difficult, but we’ll try.
“Mitrovic doesn’t even make the bench?! Despite my rock-solid faith in Rafa, this makes me feel sad and confused,” writes Tommy “T-bag” Raleigh. “Surely its better to have Mitro, a potential game-changer, on the bench than Henri Saivet – who (all due respect) is never gonna come on in this game.” I must say I agree – Saivet hasn’t played a minute of league football this season, and while Mitrovic has only played for half an hour (split across two matches), he could potentially have come on and roughed up a tiring defence in the last 20 minutes. Still, if Rafa thinks I’m wrong it’s probably because I’m wrong.
Two changes for Burnley, then, with Gudmundsson and Barnes coming in, with Wood injured and Arfield on the bench. Newcastle bring Diame in for Hayden, who is a substitute.
The teams!
Here are the actors in tonight’s drama:
Burnley: Pope, Lowton, Tarkowski, Mee, Ward, Brady, Defour, Cork, Gudmundsson, Hendrick, Barnes. Subs: Vokes, Westwood, Wells, Lindegaard, Bardsley, Long, Arfield.
Newcastle: Elliot, Yedlin, Lascelles, Lejeune, Manquillo,
Diame, Shelvey, Ritchie, Perez, Atsu, Joselu. Subs: Clark, Murphy, Gayle, Hayden, Saivet, Darlow, Jesus Gamez.
Referee: Mike Dean.
TEAM NEWS: Here's your Clarets team for tonight's #MNF game v @NUFC pic.twitter.com/Fz2k4brRQY
— Burnley FC (@BurnleyOfficial) October 30, 2017
TEAM NEWS: Here's how Newcastle United will line up at @BurnleyOfficial in the Premier League this evening. Kick-off is at 8pm (GMT). #NUFC pic.twitter.com/xXaJvVGNit
— Newcastle United FC (@NUFC) October 30, 2017
Hello world!
The weekend ends here. It is five years to the day since Sean Dyche was appointed by Burnley. In his introductory press conference he was asked about the club’s place in its community, and this is what he said:
I always knew they had a real fan-base that cared about the club and I think that’s important. I always got the feeling that the people of Burnley don’t jump on a bus and go and watch Manchester City or Manchester United. I always felt the local people supported their club and that’s a fantastic thing to have because that union and what we are trying to achieve here is very important.
There have been many press conferences since then. This is his 230th competitive game, after all. He will in that time have been asked about his side’s good form, his side’s bad form, his striker’s goalscoring exploits, his striker’s lack of goals, his side’s defensive solidity, his side’s defensive frailty. He has been asked lots of questions, lots of times. Until finally, last week, he was asked to compare his facial hair to that of Rafael Benítez.
It’s a different kind of level. Mine’s a bit trimmer, bit shorter. War of the goatees, is that what the game’s going to be about? We’ll have a goatee off! I don’t really focus on other people’s beards. I’ve had mine for a long time and I just try to keep it the best I can.
This has led to this match being trailed in some quarters as a goatee derby. But what does it say about this match – a game, I’ll remind you, being played by two teams that could end the evening in sixth place in the English Premier League, and a fixture that hasn’t ended in a goalless draw for 54 years and 45 games – that what many people seem to consider the most exciting thing about it is the hair on the managers’ faces?
Are we tired of football? Have we had enough of life? Have we no faith in these players to serve up some decent entertainment? Is there really nothing more exciting here than facial hair?
It’s up to the players now to prove that we as a nation have underestimated them. And there is but a single method of truly doing that: by serving up an hour and a half of incessant, thrilling action. It is the only way.
These teams have done it before: they played three times in the year 1928, Burnley winning 5-1 at home in March, 7-2 away in August (it was 6-1 at half-time, and Newcastle had already missed a penalty, while later Burnley’s Jack Hill so annoyed Hughie Gallacher that the Newcastle forward tried to walk off the field in disgust, which must have caused a frisson of tension when Newcastle proceeded to buy Hill a couple of months latter) and 4-3 in September. Nobody was talking about facial hair then.
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Simon will be here soon. In the meantime, here’s Paul Wilson’s preview:
Sean Dyche marks five years in charge at Burnley hoping for just a second home win of the season, against Newcastle. So far Dyche’s side have beaten only Crystal Palace at Turf Moor, and have now slipped below Rafa Benítez’s team in the table. Newcastle will be confident after drawing their last two away matches, and with two conservative defences a draw seems the most likely result on Monday.
Kick-off Monday 8pm
Venue Turf Moor
Last season n/a
Live Sky Sports Premier League
Referee Mike Dean
This season G6, Y22, R1, 3.83 cards per game
Odds H 2-1 A 22-13 D 11-5
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