And that’s that from this one. Cheers for joining in, even the ones who’ve emailed in some quite rude words. Be good to each other out there. Night!
One last one...
@NickMiller79 Ewan Mee? Imagine if Ian Ure was in the crowd, too. There'd be lots and lots for us to do.
— D Young (@statto99) April 11, 2015
Well, that wasn’t especially good. Arsenal did a fair amount of huffing and puffing, but didn’t create much, but they’re still now four points behind Chelsea, who obviously have a couple of games in hand, but it sets up the meeting between the two sides in a couple of weeks quite nicely.
Burnley of course remain in the relegation zone, but they’re only two points back from fifth bottom, and with Hull looking not especially good and with a really, really ugly run-in, survival is not out of the question.
Full-time: Burnley 0-1 Arsenal
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. And that’s eight wins in a row for Arsenal.
90 mins + 4: Duff aims for The Mixer from deep, but the ball is too long and that will probably be that.
90 mins + 2: Two substitutions - Calum Chambers comes on for Sanchez as Arsenal try to run down the clock, while for Burnley Matt Taylor is on for Jones, which does see rather pointless.
90 mins + 1: Three minutes of added time, and here’s Richard Woods with some smut: “A Kenneth Wolstenholme wannabe commentating on this game “...Shackell...Mee” could lead us enjoyably into 50 Shades of Grey territory.”
90 mins: Mee gets down the left and puts a cross into the middle, but Ings and Vokes appeared to get in each other’s way. Ings then sees some space in the area, drives into it but just loses control of it with Vokes again in close attendance. Just not happening for Burnley at that end of the pitch.
89 mins: Sanchez slips in Bellerin down the right, who tries to drive across the box but the first effort is blocked, then he clips a slightly higher cross into the middle where Sanchez waits but can’t get much on the header, and it loops up for Heaton to claim.
88 mins: Shackell tries to shepherd the ball out of play with Sanchez breathing down his neck, but is simply shoved over by the Arsenal man.
87 mins: Arsenal knocking the ball around, Anschluss match style now, trying to run things down as much as possible.
85 mins: Duff gets a ball on halfway, and looks certain to lose it with two Arsenal men closing in on him at pace, but he somehow manages to get away with it. Arsenal do eventually win the ball back, and Ozil slips in Welbeck, but his low angled shot is deflected, then put behind by Trippier for a corner.
84 mins: A Burnley fan seems to be doing the call and response ‘GET INTO ‘EM...’ song all on his own. Fight the good fight, brother. Keep on, keepin’ on.
82 mins: More fun with names, from Jeremy Holder: “If Mee’s first name was Ewan, then we could have, say, ‘Ewan Mee scored an own goal, to make it 2-0’.”
81 mins: First sub of the game, as Danny Welbeck replaces Giroud.
80 mins: Another corner won for Arsenal, another ball drops to a midfielder on the edge of the box, and another volley goes well astray, this time from Coquelin.
79 mins: A long ball downfield causes Koscielny some grief as he allows it to bounce, thus giving Vokes a sniff. The Welshman tries to get on the end of it, clashes with Koscielny who falls then drags Vokes down with him. There was a free-kick to someone, somewhere in there, but nothing is given.
77 mins: Arsenal win a corner on the left, which is put in and Mertesacker heads up in the air, it eventually falls to Cazorla on the edge of the box and he belts in a volley, but slices it well wide.
76 mins: Arsenal knocking on the door now, but quite lightly. Like they want to gain entry but someone’s asleep in the next room and they don’t want to wake them up.
75 mins: “Re: the Mee request (min 58),” writes James Lane. “Commentator: “And now here’s Bellerin, and he’s got Mee in trouble!” Will that do?”
Well - will it?
73 mins: Close again for Burnley. The ball drops for Arfield on the edge of the box, who helps it on for Ings and the striker attempts an overhead kick, but doesn’t get all of it, it takes a deflection which nearly wrong-foots Ospina, but doesn’t quite and the keeper gets behind it.
70 mins: Ach, big chance for Burnley. Mee does well to get behind Bellerin with a nutmeg and to the byline on the left, he clips over a nice cross that everyone misses, and it falls to Boyd at the back stick but he swings and whiffs at a half-volley attempt and the the opportunity is gone.
69 mins: Boyd stabs the ball towards Ings in the box, and he bundles his way towards goal, but he’s eventually crowded out. A shame, because that would’ve been a mightily impressively scruffy goal.
67 mins: Koscielny tries to clear from the edge of the Arsenal box but only succeeds in hoofing it straight up in the air. Barnes brings it down, then Burnley spend 30 seconds or so passing it back and forth across the pitch, around 30 yards from goal, before a Mee ball down the left is just too heavy for Boyd.
64 mins: Ozil plays an absolutely delicious pass, the most gossamer, delicate lob over Mee to Ramsey on the right side of the area, but he takes a touch to control which allows the defender to recover and block the shot. Seriously though, that lobbed pass was sublime.
62 mins: As Arsenal pass the ball around about 25 yards out, you can see why Burnley have done (relatively) so well this season, as their massed ranks - eight men stretched across the 18-yard line - prevent any sort of meaningful attack getting through.
60 mins: Barnes gets plenty behind a shot from about 30 yards out, but unfortunately for him he gets plenty under it too, as he blazes a shot high and wide, when Ings was in a good position for a pass to his left.
58 mins: Strong effort from Sanchez, as some neat flicks and passes from Arsenal finds the Chilean about 25 yards out, and he powers a low shot at goal, but it’s saved, diving down low, by Heaton.
55 mins: Sarcastic cheers go up as Giroud is punished for some aerial skullduggery from Giroud, who is penalised for a challenge on Shackell as they both go for a header.
54 mins: A plaintive Admir Pajic writes: “It’s not just that I’m an Arsenal fan but I would really, really like to see an own goal from Mee so the commentator can say: “It’s Mee that scored an own goal.” I’m not the only one who would find that funny, am I?”
51 mins: George Boyd does George Boyd things by tirelessly chasing Monreal then charging down an attempted clearance.
50 mins: Burnley have started this half with some purpose. A Trippier cross from the right is deflected behind for a corner, and after a few purposeless headers the ball falls to Barnes, who hooks a volley on the spin towards goal, but Ospina is alert and keeps it out.
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48 mins: Actually, they’ve got a point on this occasion, as Sanchez goes down very, very easily under the vaguest waft of a challenge, but still wins the free-kick. That was softer than blancmange.
47 mins: The boos are starting already as Bellerin takes a bit longer than the Burnley fans ideally would’ve liked to take a throw. Going to be a long old game if they carry on with that caper.
46 mins: And we’re away for the second 45, with Burnley getting things started.
Some half-time viewing, as Big Jon Parkin scores from the halfway line for Forest Green Rovers. Gwarn big lad.
Meanwhile, Anthony Hull has some thoughts on a new team to be dragged into the relegation scrap. “West Brom are only on 33 points with a run in to rival Hull’s: Palace (A), Liverpool (H), United (A), Newcastle (A), Chelsea (H) and Arsenal (A). If you’ve got a spare fiver stick it on Baggies, Sunderland and Hull to go down whilst Leicester, Burnley and QPR stay up....”
Walker Boyd of Walker Boyd Investigators has been back on: “A follow-up to my earlier comment. I am not a private investigator. But while I was trying to find an image of Barney Gumble wearing a tie for the sake of comparison (no luck, sadly), I found this great quote from gumshoe-cum-sheriff Rex Banner:
“Listen, rummy, I’m going to say it plain and simple: where’d you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger jerking suds on the side?” – Rex Banner
“Yes?” – Barney Gumble
Well, an odd half. Tough to say who’s been on top - probably marginally Burnley, even though Arsenal have had by some way the majority of the ball. The home side have looked a little more threatening in attack, although there is of course the constant sense that Arsenal could slice and dice this defence - any defence, really - at any point they wish.
Half-time: Burnley 0-1 Arsenal
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
45 mins + 2: Arsenal win a free-kick on the left, which Cazorla swings over, but Heaton comes out and catches with some authority.
45 mins: The natives aren’t impressed with this officiating, but their latest ire is aimed at another perfectly legitimate decision, after Trippier fouls Sanchez on the left.
44 mins: Barnes fouls Ozil, claiming he got the ball, which he may well have done, but he went through the German’s standing leg to get there, which is a problem. Dyche does that thing Jose Mourinho does when a decision goes against him, by laughing at the officials. He really is the Ginger Mourinho.
41 mins:
"All you do is f*ck*ng moan", sing the (v good) Arsenal fans to Burnley – slightly rich given their usual angst whenever Mike Dean referees.
— Nick Ames (@NickAmes82) April 11, 2015
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40 mins: Mee and Barnes compete for a header on the left corner of the Arsenal box, which is slightly confusing as they both play for the same team. Mee won, in case you’re interested, but nothing came of it.
38 mins: Arsenal haven’t offered a massive amount since the goal. Their latest attack falters as Sanchez clips the ball down the line, looking for the run of Monreal, but it’s too far ahead of the full-back and skips out.
37 mins: “So did the judge give Roy Keane community service for his road rage incident (12:13), selling Arsenal scarves at away matches?” asks Justin Kavanagh. “That’s rather a cruel punishment if he did. Perhaps he threatened to make him wear a Patrick Viera shirt if he repeat offends?
35 mins: Mike Dean isn’t a popular man in Burnley. Well, Mike Dean probably isn’t a popular man anywhere, but he’s joined in the Clarets shit book by Giroud, who makes a great deal from not a great deal for the second time in two minutes, this time clutching his face after Mee’s arm is sort of wafted in the general direction of his bouche. Hmmmm.
34 mins: Giroud tumbles to the floor under vague encouragement from Scott Arfield. Didn’t need much persuading to eat turf there.
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33 mins: Incidentally, if you’re looking for a pretty basic example of irony, I think - I think - some Arsenal fans were singing ‘Is this a library’ earlier.
31 mins: “Why does Dyche wear short neckties?” muses the splendidly-named Walker Boyd, who is presumably a PI of some description. “It’s as if he’s intending to emphasize his corpulence.” Maybe he is, Walker. Maybe he is.
30 mins: They’ve just shown the Bishop of Burnley on the telly, who’s in the crowd and apparently an Arsenal fan. BUT, he’s got a Burnley scarf on. Not on, that. Don’t pander to the locals, your holiness. Actually, no, not ‘your holiness’, is it? That’s the Pope. Your grace? Dunno - any help?
29 mins: Good work by Burnley down the left, as Ings gets the better of Hector Bellerin, then cuts back to Barnes, but he can’t quite get the ball out of his feet and is eventually crowded out, with Coquelin in close attendance.
26 mins: And that goes whiskers wide, scraping the post as Santi Cazorla whips in the shot which skims the post with Heaton scrambling. Looks like Duff has talked himself into a yellow card there, which seems a bit daft.
25 mins: Yellow card for Mee, who rather clumsily shoves Ramsey to the floor out on the wing. Duff then gives away a free-kick for a handball, around 25 yards out to the left of goal.
24 mins: Burnley awarded a free-kick just to the right of centre, some 30 yards out and Trippier lines it up. The full-back pounds the shot at goal and aims it towards Ospina’s right corner, but the keeper does well to dive to his right (at a fairly decent height) and push the ball away.
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22 mins: Sanchez is pulled up for a handball, and tries to remonstrate with the referee by pointing to his right breast. For a minute it looks like he’s going to whip off his shirt to show the ref the mark on his skin, but alas not.
21 mins: Vaguely amusing moment as Mee and Ramsey chase the ball down the Arsenal right, and the Arsenal man inadvertently pushes the linesman into the field of play, where he does a comedy not-quite-falling-over-but-arms-windmilling thing. The pitchside effects mic then picks up Sean Dyche swearing. Lovely stuff.
18 mins: A claim for a handball from Burnley, as Ings tries to clip the ball past Monreal, and they had half a shout there. The ball hit the left-back’s arm, but intent becomes the question. Of which there was little.
17 mins: Burnley have a free-kick on the edge of the D, which Jones curls into the top of the wall, a looping ball that Ospina then punches away.
15 mins: Burnley protest against an errant arm from Giroud on Michael Duff, but there wasn’t much in it.
14 mins: The relentless George Boyd runs down the right, but the pass from Trippier is blocked. A new position for Boyd, on this flank, but frankly he runs so much that he probably plays on the right and left simultaneously.
12 mins: Bit of a goalmouth scramble leads to the opener. First Sanchez has a shot from the edge of the area that is blocked, it then falls into Mesut Ozil’s path on the left side of the area and his effort is well-saved by Heaton, and finally it pops out to a crowd of players, among whom is Aaron Ramsey who initially seems to have the ball stuck under his feet, but eventually digs it out and lifts the ball into the roof of the net.
GOAL! Burnley 0-1 Arsenal (Ramsey 12)
And that was a bit against the run of play.
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10 mins: Ben Mee tries a ball down the left channel for Ashley Barnes, who had found some space behind Mertesacker, but he’s flagged just offside. And it was just, too.
8 mins: Ah. Yes. Hmmm. Well. Right. Giroud tries to channel the spirit of Jermain Defoe by hammering a volley from way out and...well, let’s just say it didn’t have quite the same impact as a Defoe’s.
6 mins: And a chance for Arsenal, as Sanchez is the first to react as David Jones takes a heavy touch in his own area, but the Chilean hoys the ball way over the bar.
5 mins: Chance for Burnley as Sam Vokes outstrips Per Mertesacker down the left but David Ospina dashes out to smother the danger. The ball is then - a little uncertainly - cleared.
4 mins: Sanchez tries a cross from the left aiming for Giroud, but it’s headed away by the quietly impressive Jason Shackell. Cracking defender, is Shackell - if Burnley stay up it’ll be as much down to him as Danny Ings.
2 mins: Sanchez himself takes the free-kick, belting towards goal with some serious swerve and dip, so much so that Tom Heaton initially seemed to go too far to his right, before correcting and getting everything behind the effort.
1 mins: And we’re away, Arsenal kicking off, with the sun having spoiled things rather by disappearing behind some clouds. Kieron Trippier gives away a free-kick for rather unsubtly dragging back Alexis Sanchez, and is lucky to get away without a booking.
Burnley play ‘Wake Up’ by the Arcade Fire before every game. Big fan of that.
Even if this match turns out to be balls, Turf Moor certainly does look rather lovely in the spring sun...
Nigel Pearson: never knowingly excited. Unless James McArthur is in front of him.
Massive win for #lcfc but Pearson playing it down: "We have to wait and see if we can turn it around"
— Alan Smith (@alansmith90) April 11, 2015
“Is that Roy Keane in your header photo?” asks Adrian Doran. “Didn’t take him for a Burnley man...”
This one, in case you’re reading later on and the header photo changes. Roy?
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Some pre-match reading, that frankly has sod all to do with this game but is interesting anyway. Here’s Sid Lowe, on the extraordinary Barcelona team of 1996 that has pumped out managers by the boatload:
If it is extraordinary enough that one team provides half the managers left in the competition, go a little deeper. The starting XI that day ran: Lopetegui, Ferrer, Popescu, Abelardo, Blanc, Luis Enrique, Sergi, Amor, Guardiola, Stoichkov, Pizzi. Only two of them have not become first-team coaches: Guillermo Amor, who ran Barcelona’s academy and is now technical director at Adelaide United, and Gica Popescu, sent to jail for three years for fraud. Now there’s a “Where Are They Now?”.
There were 28 players in Barcelona’s squad in the 1996-97 season. Popescu apart, only five others have not worked as coaches or technical directors and among them are Giovanni, who scouts for Olympiakos and Vítor Baía, an ambassador forPorto, plus the owner of the Fort Lauderdale Strikers, Ronaldo, and another Ballon d’Or winner, the Fifa presidential candidate Luís Figo.
Sergi Barjuan has just taken over at Almería, Juan Antonio Pizzi manages León in Mexico having coached Valencia last season and Chapi Ferrer began this year at Córdoba, while Albert Celades is Spain’s Under-21 coach, Emmanuel Amunike coaches Nigeria’s Under-17s and Roberto Prosinecki manages Azerbaijan, to name but a few. Barça’s manager when they won the Super Cup, the Copa del Rey and the Cup Winners’ Cup was Sir Bobby Robson. Oh, and you might recognise his assistant, too: José Mourinho.
Relevant, to Burley and the relegation scrap, results from elsewhere today:
- Sunderland 1-4 Crystal Palace
- Southampton 2-0 Hull
- Tottenham 0-1 Aston Villa
- West Brom 2-3 Leicester
Team news
Burnley
Heaton; Trippier, Duff, Shackell (c), Mee; Boyd, Arfield, Jones, Barnes; Vokes, Ings. Subs: Gilks, Keane, Ward, Ulvestad, Jutkiewicz, Taylor, Kightly.
Arsenal
Ospina; Bellerin, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal; Coquelin; Cazorla, Ramsey, Ozil, Alexis; Giroud. Subs: Szczesny, Gibbs, Chambers, Flamini, Rosicky, Walcott, Welbeck.
Referee: Mike Dean (Wirral)
The first thing to note, ahead of this game, is that by the looks of the Burnley programme, Tom Heaton as Seen Things.
Today's official matchday programme cover #BFCvAFC pic.twitter.com/pRQo5nO0Q2
— Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) April 11, 2015
It’s a slightly unusual sensation watching an Arsenal game and expecting them to win. Not that they shouldn’t win most of the games they play, but over the years they have often found new and interesting ways to make a complete balls of things. But these days they seem to have developed something like a backbone, or at least a way of winning all the games they should have done before. They’ve played 18 games in all competitions since the turn of the year, and have won 15 of them. The three that haven’t gone their way were at Southampton on New Year’s Day, the North London derby when the Unstoppable Harry Kane beat them, and that horrendous aberration in the home Champions League leg against Monaco.
Other than that, it’s been three months of success for Arsenal, with most of their key men fit, their big players coming up with the goods, relatively few defensive boo-boos and some unheralded types doing their thing, too. Their fans will be forgiven for being absolutely terrified that it’s all going to go very badly wrong any time now.
Could that time be at Burnley? Sean Dyche, as well as being the Premier League’s foremost Victorian wrestler lookalike, has marshalled his rather meagre collection of talent into a pretty cohesive unit that has pulled down the pants, taken out the paddle and given the bottoms of some big boys a good old slap in recent weeks. They of course beat Manchester City (after holding them to a draw at Eastlands earlier in the season), got a point out of Tottenham and also frustrated Chelsea. They’re still in the bottom three, but with by some distance the weakest squad in the division, it’s something close to a miracle that they’re even in touch at this stage of the campaign. So hats off to Sean Dyche. Hats off indeed.
And it seems there’s a very simple secret to Dyche’s success: fibbing. He said this week: “I lie - a lot! We try to nick all the golden nuggets from all the different departments - sports science, analysis, psychology, game planning, down days, rest periods, diet. We get all the golden nuggets and offer them to the players. I don’t force them. I say ‘this will be good for you, it will help us’. They have a chance to say yes or no. You can’t force them, you can only guide them into the right place. The ones that don’t want to be guided into the right place swiftly leave the building.”
Seems like a good egg, doesn’t he? Perhaps they might even get something from this rampant Arsenal team, too. Who can tell in this crazy world.
Kick-off: 5.30 BST
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