Experts often say that strained relationships and fights between teenagers and parents are a natural process designed to ease separation. Interestingly, after adult children begin living independently, their relationships with their parents often improve. But what then should adult siblings living together do?
The story we’re about to tell you today, from the user u/Consistent-Stock-886, is another reminder that being an adult actually means taking care of yourself. And, well, not only taking care but also taking responsibility for your words and deeds. This, incidentally, applies to both participants in our story…
More info: Reddit
Sharing a roof with your sibling might be very warm and great, but sometimes they can take your help for granted and get overly entitled
Image credits: TriangleProd / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post has been living with her elder brother for several years and used to help him a lot
Image credits: Consistent-Stock-886
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman was always the main contributor to the household and also provided the brother some mental support
Image credits: Consistent-Stock-886
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She supported him while he was going through his divorce and also did her best to raise her own kid alone
Image credits: Consistent-Stock-886
Image credits: lazy_bear / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The man, however, used to always nag on various reasons – so the author once decided to vent about this with another person, who then exposed her words to her bro
Image credits: Consistent-Stock-886
Image credits: syda_productions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
They ended up having a very unpleasant talk, and the author decided to show him what “not having his back” actually meant
Image credits: Consistent-Stock-886
The woman removed everything she bought throughout the house and put it all in her room until she moves out
The original poster (OP) is 34 years old, and in recent years, she shared an apartment with her 39-year-old brother. The woman says that she usually contributed much more to the household than her brother, helping him pay for his car repairs, and even had been giving him a ride to work during that time.
Moreover, she was always there for him when he was going through a difficult divorce, and always happily welcomed his kids when they came over. And this is all without taking into account her own work and raising a 4-year-old daughter alone. But if you think her bro appreciated this support, you’re very much mistaken.
The man kept constantly nagging about his sis allegedly having various shortcomings, her child being overly messy, and so on. He complained to her that she “didn’t have his back,” and this eventually got on our heroine’s nerves. In a private convo with a friend, she herself vented about such a strained relationship with her sibling, but the friend turned out to be a traitor and told him everything.
The result was a very unpleasant conversation, and the OP, accused by him of snitching, decided to show what “not having his back” actually meant. The woman took everything she had bought for their shared apartment into her own room and began actively looking for another home. And yet, remorse continues to plague her – she considers herself a bad person, and decided to seek advice online.
Image credits: pressfoto / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“Apparently, this woman made two fundamental mistakes. Firstly, she was overprotective of her brother, and secondly, instead of telling him about her concerns, she decided to confide in someone else,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here.
According to the expert, this often happens when people begin to simply perceive help from friends and relatives as something granted, and over time, this develops into blatant entitlement. It’s quite possible that a frank conversation could have helped in this case, actually opening her brother’s eyes to the reality of the situation.
But since this is how it happened, the author’s actions seem quite reasonable and balanced. “After all, 39 is a good age to start living independently, without relying entirely on the support of a younger sister, right?” Irina Matveeva says with irony. “Separation from relatives is never too late, although the process can be quite painful.”
As for the people in the comments, they generally criticized the author for actually trash-talking her bro with another person, but also noted that she ultimately made the right decision to move out. “He’s a grown man; he needs to act like it and take responsibility for himself and his children,” someone wrote reasonably. So do you, our dear readers, agree with this too?
Commenters were very divided as they condemned the author for trash-talking her brother behind his back, but also agreed that her decision to move out was actually right
