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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Hadley Freeman

Britney Spears' Kids Already Reach Patty Hearst Status

Whatever Marina says, as those in her 50 yard radius know, goes. So it shouldn't be too much of a surprise to learn that, barely an hour after her prediction of Sean and Jayden's future as fugitives of justice, they are already precisely that.

In the current issue of Us Weekly, a "concerned friend" tells the magazine that Britney and her convict sidekicks recently rocked up to a house in Beverly Hills with a For Sale sign in front, let themselves in, told one of their several bodyguards to remove aforementioned sign, and promptly trashed the joint. "She ate tacos on the bedroom floor! She got crumbs and grease everywhere. She let her babies and dog roam the floor..." Aha, but did she 'let' them - or are these criminal masterminds now controlling her? Are we focussing the blame in the wrong direction? It would explain why their mother allegedly asked a dentist to whiten her sons' teeth, even if Jayden, 11 months, doesn't have a full set yet.

Rumours that the two were last seen speeding away in a white Bronco, their mother wailing in their exhaust fumed wake, are yet to be confirmed.

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