A sad, sad day for this half of LiS. We Jews - we've been through a lot, y'know? Shylock stereotypes, the H-o-l-o-c-a-u-s-t, gefilte fish - yet still we rally. But now the cruellest blow has come: it seems that Britney has decided to leave our ranks. Truly, Goebbels could not have meted out a more hurtful kick.
Strictly speaking, Brit is not actually Jewish. Obviously not. You think a Jewish girl's mother would let her father assume custody of her daughter? Puh-leeze. Instead, Brit is, as only the chosen among the chosen people are, a follower of Kabbalah. Well, that and crystal meth. But then, they do provide a similar level of illumination. Whatevs, the point is it seems that Britney has decided to have the Hebrew tattoo on the back of her neck removed. Oy vay! It's enough to make one come over like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof and take a scolding finger to these girls with new fangled ideas in their heads and sing a sad rendition of Tradition. Or maybe Sunrise, Sunset. Whatever.
And the most poignant part of the saga is that Britney went through SO MUCH for this tattoo in the first place. After all, when she first had it inked on she, taking after that other spritual tattoo sporter, David Beckham, misspelled it, so the Hebrew word for God actually spelled (and forgive me, I'm rendering it phonetically, it's hard to convey the old language in this modern nonsense) "muhasssh." Which didn't quite have the same spiritual impact.
And now Britney leaves our midsts. Well, we've been learning how to digest matzoh balls for millennia, we will learn to cope with the loss of Britney. We won't like it, but we will endure.
