And so, gingerly, to news of Britney Spears, whom readers may recall has been extraordinarily rendered to Central America by confectionery-mammary-appreciating, anti-Semitic conspiracy theorist Mel Gibson. The whereabouts of Britney's Kabbalah bracelet are unknown, but let's face it: things aren't looking hopeful for the fake Jewish cult's celebrity-worshipped piece of $26 red string.
Lost in Showbiz has been too distressed to come the keyboard until now, because the rumours are much, much worse than we'd thought. Basically, as bad as they could be without the pair being romantically linked. To wit: remember how we despaired of news that one of the best TV dramas ever created was about to be remade starring Mel? Remember how "Edge of Darkness to be remade starring Passion of the Christ bigot" felt so depressing that we sarcastically averred they should remake Boys From the Blackstuff starring Matthew McConnaughey? Well, you need to start dealing with the fact that, according to the Boston Globe, Mel wants to cast Britney in the project - presumably in the Joanne Whalley role.
What can one say? Other than: is real life now just the punchline to a nihilist joke? Enquiring minds want to know.
