David Beckham shows off his tattoos on a trip to Freetown, Sierra Leone. Photograph: David Turnley/PA
And now to a feature upon which we'll confer the name Beckham Inc Ink, wherein we update the Domesday book of tattoos that have been needled into brand mascots David and Victoria, and ask: how long before they need to use the kids as an epidermal spillover area for their stoopid body art collection?
Not long at all, if David's latest addition is a guide. Victoria's also had something as yet illegible done, but do behold his left forearm, upon which you may discern a naked Posh surrounded by a starry sky, almost as if she's in heaven and only the angels can touch her now.
Lost in Showbiz is disappointed for two reasons. One, it diminishes the impact of Beckham's most hilarious tattoo, the poignantly misspelled Hindi Vihctoria that graces his inside left forearm. And two, wouldn't it have been amazing if he'd just had a great big 99 tattooed on his forehead instead? Forcibly would have been fine. There'd have been so many people willing to hold him down.
Anyway, it emerges that Beckham is in fact inspired by the tattoo sported by Michael Scofield, the lead character in the US drama series Prison Break. "Isn't that wild?" actor Wentworth Miller has reacted. "I think his idea to join up his tattoos will work quite nicely, but I don't envy him having it done."
Of course, in the series, Scofield's tattoo is a disguised blueprint of Fox River State Penitentiary, to be used as an exit tool. So that's where the similarities end. After all, it's not as if David's trapped anywhere he secretly dreams of escaping from.
