You might think that you have read everything you will ever need to read about this year's Brit awards but you have not, because here are some conclusions that could only be reached once the giddy thrill of Laura Marling's acceptance speech had finally subsided.
• Being kettled by Take That was an extremely pleasant experience, and in a split second TT-branded riot shields became pop's most sought-after accessory. Take That's next move must be to ensure that the shields are on the merchandise stall of their upcoming live dates, priced at £22.
• As indie pop's one-time golden boys Razorlight recently learned to their cost, ill-judged hats are the hot potato on the 2011 music scene. Mumford & Sons must immediately appoint an emergency hat expert because that yellow baseball cap was a mistake of such epic proportions that they were lucky not to have been issued with a no-questions-asked ban from all areas of the performing arts.
• Things being on fire is always exciting, but Plan B must confront a difficult truth: a stuntman being set on fire then running around always looks like a stuntman who has been set on fire. It's the way they run, and this is not Plan B's fault per se but how he now responds to this issue is pivotal in terms of reputation management.
• "You can have all the dancers, pyrotechnics and laser shows you want but if you sound like that all you need is a piano." That is what James Corden said about Adele's performance. It was indeed a good performance, but imagine how good it would have been with the addition of just one massive, pet-scaringly loud explosion. As she sings: "I heard that you're settled down, that you found a girl and you're married now . . ." BANG!
• Despite having pop points docked from his running tally in light of repeatedly and unamusingly saying "Shabba!" during his band's acceptance speech, Robbie Williams clawed some back for his choice of words when eventually elaborating on the win to a Radio 1 news reporter. After beginning to say how good it felt to win the Brit, he concluded his statement with the phrase "etcetera, etcetera, stuff that you say when you're asked that thing". Ideally, the entire pop community will adopt this phrase and use it in all interviews from now until the end of journalism (9 March, 2017).
• "Labrinth, Labrinth, where are you Labrinth?" Tinie Tempah's shoutout to his producer was like a terrible flashback to Bowie at the 1987 Oscars, and a timely reminder that all pop producers should have catheters fitted. You wouldn't catch Day V Lately in the toilets when he was supposed to be on stage.
• Rihanna and Tinie Tempah both triumphed with medleys but Arcade Fire seemed shy of the almost supernatural power of the medley and must address this for future performances. We lead busy lives now and the medley issue will only grow in importance in the coming months.
• Etcetera, etcetera, stuff you write when you're concluding this thing.
