Praying for a good result ... Amy Winehouse. Photograph: Richard Young/Rex Features
It's the night the music industry revels in its own greatness and tonight the Brit awards are set to offer up an impressive list of live performances. Amy, Klaxons and Sir Macca are all scheduled to play and I, for one, am looking forward to it.
In truth, the performances may even take precedence to the awards as block nominations for Leona Lewis and Take That might just carve up the main prizes between these monsters of pop. Me, I've got my fingers crossed for Richard Hawley and PJ Harvey in the solo artist categories, though I suspect I might end up feeling disappointed.
The decision has been taken to allow guests to drink this year so there remains a third reason to watch, just in case one of the Hoosiers does their best Joss Stone impression or Harriet Harman turns up and gets Chumbawamba-ed by the Arctic Monkeys.
I've never been to the Brit awards before, although I do admit to watching it from start to finish on telly more than once, and while most people can't wait to see whether tonight's presenters Ozzy and Sharon will be a total car crash or not, I'm just quite looking forward to surviving the red carpet experience (standing by it, not on it) and seeing what one of these glitzy awards show things looks like up close.
As always, I welcome your feedback from now until the last champagne bottle has been drunk dry. However, if you're one of the people poised to post that "the Brit awards don't mean anything, it's all industry back slapping and awarding commercial success. Where's the recognition for reeeeal talent?" can I suggest that you stop, have a think about it, and decide not to? Or at least something like "sure, we all know these awards are based on sales and that, but I would also quite like to see Rihanna belting it out with lasers and Klaxons in tow."
Join me right here from 7.30pm onwards for a minute-by-minute (ish) report on the proceedings. Until then, 'entertain' yourselves with our galleries of Brits from the past, and some of tonight's red carpet arrivals
19.25: Bo Selecta! The biggest night in the pop calendar has begun, commencing with my first turn on the red carpet. By turn, I mean standing behind some frighteningly excited teenagers and the occasional freakish look old man to try and catch a glimpse of who was making them shriek. Abi Clancy, her who goes out with Liverpool's Peter Crouch, apparently.
Just as I'm thinking this is a truly heinous experience, the Arctic Monkeys rescue things by turning up looking like they've just joined the Countryside Alliance. Yes, the band who snubbed the Brits in '06 and '07 have decided 2008 is the year to premier their Ted and Ralph wardrobe. Fair enough. Elsewhere, the Klaxons decided to do the red carpet back to front, emerging from inside the venue to pose (drinks in hand) with the Kaiser Chiefs. Things are still pretty heinous, time to head inside the shiny, sparkly Earls Court conference centre.
19.39: Safely inside at the very heart of the Brit awards now, elbow to elbow with various other hacks (Joe Mott is here, must ask him where he's been since leaving the Daily Star) in the media room. I've only been in the building five minutes and already I have some gossip on tonight's performances, although i didn't get it from Joe. I actually got it from the running order, but anyway!
First off, Mika and Beth Ditto are set to perform a mash-up of Love Today and Standing in the Way of Control to open the ceremony. Later on we've got Klaxons and Rihanna, Kaiser Chiefs with their song Ruby (which feels like it was out years ago, no?) and Amy Winehouse's performance listed as "TBA". Finally,the running order of Paul McCartney's medley is listed in full. I'm not going to tell you what he's going to perform, because I want you to continue to guess. Yes, I'm fun like that. Go!
19.48: The paps are being shuffled from the media room to the actual arena. This can only mean the sitting around waiting for "things" to happen is nearly over. Goody.
19.49: A man just announced over a loudspeaker that "the brits awards 2008 will begin very, very shortly". This only adds to my suspicion that "things" are going to happen soon.
19.50: The man is back and he just announced that he is going to do everything he can to make sure "all the millions of people watching the awards tonight will want to be right here, right now." I imagine my report from the media room is having a similar effect on all of you.
19.55: I have just been reliably informed that Missy Elliot has bought her own table for the event and her special guest is......Lulu.
19.59: Witnessing the compere warm up the crowd by saying things like: "There are some really beautiful women here tonight....there're some really ugly ones too, you know who you are!", I'm actually pining for the actual awards to start. Go away wretched man. Bring on Beth and Mika.
20.00: Mika just entered stage centre and the opening bars of Love Today just actually gave me chills down my spine. I might as well be honest, seeing as we're in this together.
20.02: Beth's here! This is so exciting. Oh, you just know they're going to lead from the Gossip's Standing in the Way of Control into Big Girl (You're Beautiful).
20:06:The Osbournes are here, including Jack and Kelly Osbourne. So far, so good. I think they have Tom Baker doing the in-between-y bits saying things like: "THAT WAS MIKA!!!" Sharon Osbourne just introduced Chris Moyles as her "future son-in-law". Something you want to tell us Jack?
20.10: Despite actually showing up this year, and doing so in fancy dress, Take That just won Best Live Act over the Arctic Monkeys.
20.15: Rihanna and the Klaxons: a brief review. It's basically Rihanna singing Umbrella while the band play Golden Skans. With MASSIVE lasers. Rihanna looks pretty scary, in a great way. The Klaxons look characteristically homoerotic. Yes, this is quite fun. I wonder if anyone has double dropped?
20.20: One thing I both love and hate about live awards show is the awful, painful silences that occur when the autocue stops and presenters wait to be told what to do next and just waggle abut, a la Fearne Cotton, looking cheekily into the camera. You know they're just going: "F***ing hurry up."
Time for the break.
20.28: Will Young is just about to present Adele with the Critics' Choice Award. He's bringing new levels of pain to reading an autocue. Adele says: 'Hiyer, hello, whooo!" and promises she's not going to speak for too long because speeches are boring. Tell THAT to Martin Luther King. Jr.
20.36: Give it a rest augustinelofts.
20.40: Kelly Rowland just awarded Kanye West Best International Male. "I'm sure there's someone who deserves this more than me." Two words Kanye: Michael Buble.
20.42: Beth Ditto looks resplendent when she arrives all in silver to give the award for Best Male. My money is on Ronson.
20.43: Mark Ronson would like to thank everyone. I'd like to thank Mark Ronson for that haircut.
20.47: The Kaiser Chiefs are doing Ruby. My, Ricky Wilson Looks slim. On the other hand, he's slightly out of tune.
20.52: Another break in proceedings. dothestrand: "Michael Buble? Are you taking the piss?"
I can't believe you even need to ask, haven't we known each other too long?
21.01 Oh Leona. Oh Leona and your enormous group of David Brent style dancers. This song is great but very boring at the precise moment in time. She's just too flawless. It's EXACTLY like listening to the record. Which I've done many times, I can tell you.
21.07: Best International Group and not one nominee can come to the Brits! Might as well give it too Mark Ronson. He's here and he's a one-man music machine.
Instead, they give it to Foo Fighters and Dave Grohl actually sounds like he's choking up in the recorded clip. Maybe it's because he just heard Manchester United are losing.
21.09 Kate Nash wins Best female. If one more person mentions the bloody Brits school I'm going to join Craig David and boycott this whole bloody thing.
21.11: Best international group goes to Foo Fighters. Another chance to see Dave Grohl trying not to weep as he gives a shout out to Kula Shaker, Bros and Shakespeare's Sister. Well, it's about time.
21.13: Did you know Adele can sing? She doesn't just appear in articles and on critics' lists. She can cover a cover version of Coldplay too.
And here comes....Daniel Merriweather. Has anyone else noticed how Mark Ronson is determined to make Merriweather a star? If not, good, it means it's not working.
21.16: Amy! Now the talent has arrived. Tartan bodice, biggest beehive yet and more talent in one swivel of her hip than everyone else on that stage combined. A short burst of Valerie, but it's still genuinely heart warming to see her back, on form and not incoherently wasted.
21.32 Outside in smoker's corner, I try to assess who all these people dressed to the nines in their Friday best actually are. One man tells me that his mate who manages a certain young Grime MC gave him a ticket, opting for the football instead. He can't recall anything that's happened tonight that's pleased him other than the booze. Meanwhile, they're already taking down the Brits signs outside Earls Court Exhibition Centre.
21.37: It's the one we've all been waiting for, the Mastercard British Album award. Seems they don't quite have to rename this the Take That awards just yet, as it's the Monkeys who get it.
Having earlier threatened to strike should I hear the words Brit school again, I'll let Alex Turner off because his speech thanking them for all their support etc etc is the best thing that's happened all night. Only downfall being he didn't mention Craig David at all.
21.44: Ozzy Osbourne's Sam Fox moment has arrived: "Mr Sir Paul McCartney!"
Jack: "Not yet dad, bit premature."
21.48: Paul McCartney arrives on stage to collect his award for Outstanding Contribution to Music. Brilliantly, Macca says British music is the best in the world, while also mentioning the Wings in the same breath. Here he goes with the dreaded Brits medley...
21.53: Recent feely-good single Dance Tonight leads seamlessly into Live and Let Die. I say seamlessly, he pauses for some crowd banter, "Are you rocking?"
Check the pyrotechnics! They cost £500k, apparently. That's something for the Brit school contingency to aspire to.
21.54: jasonaparkes, I see no mention of Hey Jude in your post. How can this be?
21.55: Is that Cee-Lo from Gnarles Barkley on the drums?
22.00: As Mr Sir Paul closes with Lady Madonna and Get Back, I'm going to take this opportunity to say that sitting through endless Take That acceptance speeches, endless shout outs to the Brit school and not quite enough Dave Grohl was all made worth it by Alex Turner's tongue-in-cheek speech thanking the Brits school. That was funnier than Vic Reeves in Shooting Stars and they turn the music up on him? What would Craig David say?
