Brian Barwick

"Captain Mainwaring is shown the door," parps John O'Reilly Photograph: X/Public domain

"I've done a Barwick and flogged the rights to view this satellite channel. That'll be £19.99 please," says the business-minded Stuart Goldacre. Cheque's in the post, Stuart Photograph: X/Public domain

"Fed up with the heckling from Lord Triesman, an upset Brian leaves the Muppet Show," wocka wocka wockas Reuben Duffy Photograph: X/Public domain

"After leaving the FA, Brian decided to try his luck in Hollywood," chuckles Daniel Smith Photograph: X/Public domain

"When Brian woke up on May 10 2006, the FA had recently bungled its way through the appointment of a new manager, the team were a bunch of overpaid underachievers and he was the star of The Gallery. When Brian next woke up, everything was still the same, except his calender said August 272008," writes the verbose Tom Murray Rust, subtly drawing attention to our lack of original gallery ideas Photograph: X/Public domain

"Brian has stepped down from his position as chief executive of the FA due to Liverpool's inability to win a domestic competition," arfs Jarrett Horowitz before preparing himself for a postbag of anti-Scouse bias accusations Photograph: X/Public domain

"Although it was too late, Brian finally got himself a Brazilian," boom booms Mike Snell, who has been working on topical entry for the last two years Photograph: X/Public domain

"The Apprentice's latest candidate gets his marching orders," write Connor and Ben McClean. Brian actually resigned but we'll let them get away with it Photograph: X/Public domain