Branislav Ivanovic | The Gallery

'Don't go back on to the pitch,' pleads Jack Palmer Photograph: Photomontage

Here's Colin McArthur's fine effort: 'Branislav was surprised by the endorsements available to him after his ordeal' Photograph: Photomontage

'Branislav needs some time off because he’s feeling a bit drained,' says Rachel Eirinberg Photograph: Photomontage

'Fight the Reds. Fear the Suárez,' warns Hannah Wood Photograph: Photomontage

Andy Scott reckons Petr Cech has competition: 'The latest Chelsea player to wear unusual protection wear is Ivanovic' Photograph: Photmontage

'Branislav the Bear gets his own back on Slippery Suárez,' puns Lloyd Durbin Photograph: Photomontage

Chris Lamb, who sounds quite tasty himself, reckons it's obvious why Luis was tempted to take a bite Photograph: Photomontage

Adam Koper has a pitch for us: 'In this episode of Extreme Fishing with Branislav Ivanovic, our hero goes up the Mersey in search of the infamous Uruguayan Suárez Shark, known for its love of human flesh' Photograph: Photomontage

'Still a better love story than Twilight,' sighs Gareth Roberts Photograph: Photomontage

'Luis makes a social faux pas in this years MasterChef by adding salad to his dish,' says Craig Hunter Photograph: Photomontage

'Thanks to his suspension, Luis can use his extra spare time opening that restaurant he always dreamed of running,' says Shane Langan, licking his lips Photograph: Photomontage

Chris Nemeh channels Seinfield: 'George was dead set on proving that he was in fact the owner of Luis Suárez's car. He just needed a dentist to match the bite marks on Ivanovic's arm with those on the chewed pencil' Photograph: Photomontage

Kyle Norbury's title says it all Photograph: Photomontage

'Bran the man looks forward to sinking his teeth into a Red Snapper,' salivates Al Balmer Photograph: Photomontage

'It looks like Suarez sees Ivanovic a differently to everyone else,' chuckles Sion-Gwilym Thomas Photograph: Photomontage