I’d love to stay and chat, but I’m heading over for today’s second game – Arsenal v Liverpool – imminently. Follow it here:
Keep an eye out for our match report, which will be online in moments. Suffice to say, that was an opening game with very little for United fans to complain about. Thanks for joining me. Bye!
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Full time! Bournemouth 1-3 Manchester United
A deserved victory, and a positive start for José Mourinho’s Manchester United. Goals from Juan Mata, Wayne Rooney and – you guessed it – Zlatan Ibrahimovic, and they’re up and running.
94 minutes: United can’t clear the ball, and Gradel, who has made an impact in his brief cameo, goes away from de Gea – but the goalkeeper gets a hand to the ball, and blocks his follow-up shot. A frantic final couple of minutes at the back for the visitors...
93 minutes: Almost – the first corner is cleared but Bournemouth earn another, and the ball breaks to Surman – but his near-post shot is turned away!
92 minutes: Plenty of crisp passing from United even in the latter stages, before Bournemouth wrestle the ball back. Afobe lays the ball back to Daniels, whose cross is deflected behind by Fellaini. A chance for a late consolation?
90 minutes: Four additional minutes. Memphis combines with Fellaini down the left, like Van Gaal never left, and outfoxes Grabban, racing back to cover – but he can’t pick out Ibrahimovic in the area.
“I think with Zlatan it is best just to describe everything he does as genius. Keeps everyone happy” suggests Ian Copestake.
“I jogged past him on the boardwalk at Santa Monica a few weeks ago. He was walking in the cycling lane with his family, the genius”
87 minutes: Another Manchester United substitution, with Memphis replacing Rooney, who hands the armband to Daley Blind. Mourinho draining the life from this game in his trademark style.
85 minutes: Morgan Schneiderlin is on in place of Anthony Martial, who offered a constant threat from the left, setting up Ibrahimovic’s goal – and Rooney’s too, albeit inadvertently.
82 mins: Fellaini finds Ibrahimovic on the left, who skips contemptuously past a flying challenge and makes for the penalty area – but his cross towards Rooney with the outside of his boot is misplaced, and cleared away.
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81 mins: Adam Smith again drives Bournemouth forward, flicking in a dangerous cross from the right, but Francis presents the ball to Fellaini to end their spell of possession...
79 mins: Bournemouth take a quick free kick, but Bailly chases down Afobe in the leggy style he’s demonstrated all afternoon. Max Gradel comes on for Bournemouth, replacing fellow Leeds alumnus Lewis Cook, who will have enjoyed the first half of his debut more than the second.
76 mins: United have this game under wraps right now, that brief Bournemouth revival petering out. Blind and Bailly, both of whom have staked a claim for a regular centre-back berth today, exchange passes across the back line.
74 mins: Here comes Henrikh Mkhitaryan, on for Juan Mata. He’s been one of United’s best performers today.
“I don’t think you gave that Zlatan goal enough credit” reckons Matt Richman. “He made that look easy from what might have been about 30 yards.”
It was a sign of Ibrahimovic’s many talents to even attempt that shot, but no Premier League goalkeeper should get beaten along the ground from that far out.
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71 mins: King’s through ball to Afobe is cut out, before Mata cons Andre Marriner, winning a free kick for a dive after racing around King. The former United man, who has got no change out of the referee today, looks aggrieved.
70 mins: Bournemouth have their dander up, with the Vitality Stadium making a racket once again – but Harry Arter’s attempted through ball drifts beyond the goal-line.
GOAL! Bournemouth 1-3 Manchester United (Adam Smith)
An instant impact from Grabban, a no-look pass bisecting the United defence and teeing up Adam Smith, who rockets the ball first time into the top corner!
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65 mins: Two Bournemouth changes, ten minutes too late. Wilson is replaced by Lewis Grabban, and Benik Afobe is on Jordon Ibe.
Bournemouth have lost their shape entirely, with five red and black shirts chasing Martial in from the left. He plays a simple ball to Ibrahimovic, who strikes a low, angled shot from some 25 yards. It rolls into the far corner, beyond Boruc, who ought to have stopped it – perhaps caught cold by Ibrahimovic’s audacity. It’s Zlatan time, or something.
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GOAL! Bournemouth 0-3 Manchester United (Ibrahimovic)
Game over – and Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s first Premier League goal!
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61 mins: Ibrahimovic lines himself up, before Rooney jogs across to confirm he can take it. It’s well struck, bending over the wall, but is beaten away by Boruc.
60 mins: Another example here, as United break away, Martial jinking in from the left and being brought down by Surman, again running back late from midfield. A free kick in a very promising position...
59 mins: Eddie Howe will need to make changes, with Bournemouth’s early intensity catching up with them fast.
GOAL! Bournemouth 0-2 Manchester United (Rooney)
United have enjoyed plenty of possession in the second half, and catch Bournemouth cold here. Valencia barrels down the right, his cross is wildly mishit by Martial, but Rooney is unmarked, and nods the ball home!
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54 mins: Ibe wriggles free on the edge of the area, and sees his shot deflected. Plenty of noise from the home fans now, but the corner comes to nothing.
Kinda evil to have Januzaj on the 25% off sale no? @niallmcveigh pic.twitter.com/B6dpOHopja
— Blaine J Rodrigues (@GandalfGreyArea) August 14, 2016
Just look at his face!
52 mins: United finding space in behind, with Ibrahimovic holding the ball up and rolling it right, into the path of Rooney. He goes down in a heap on the edge of the box, but Andre Marriner isn’t interested. Very hard to tell if there was a faint touch from Surman, but Rooney was always going down.
50 mins: Another defensive slip from Bournemouth, with Steve Cook slipping under pressure from Rooney, chasing after a crafty, flicked through ball from Ibrahimovic. Boruc is out smartly to block his shot, and gets the luck of the bounce this time.
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49 mins: King goes down under a challenge from Bailly, drawing ire from the home crowd – but replays show that Bailly got the ball. Not the first time King has gone over cheaply.
47 mins: Fun fact – United haven’t won at Bournemouth since 1957; admittedly, the two teams haven’t crossed paths that many times since. A slow start to the second half, Mata trying and failing to link up with Ibrahimovic on a couple of occasions.
Peep!
We’re off! No changes at half-time. Eric Bailly heaves a clearance into the air, then deflects the rebound out for a corner – but is a touch fortunate to get a free kick for a shove in the back.
Some half-time viewing: a packed Mestalla delivers an all-action send off to... Valencia’s kit man.
Football, it’s a Funny Old Game: how many times could Louis van Gaal have done with a stroke of luck like that presented to Juan Mata, during one of his trademark teeth-grindingly dull draws? Poor old Louis. I wonder what he’s up to right now.
@niallmcveigh Slow start to the expected hat-trick and red card double for Zlatan?
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) August 14, 2016
Quite. Ibrahimovic has been about as anonymous as is possible.
Half time: Bournemouth 0-1 Manchester United
Very little to choose between the two teams, but Juan Mata’s goal, from a poor Simon Francis back pass, gives United the lead. More soon.
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46 mins: Another cross whipped in from the right, but Wilson, still isolated up front, can’t beat De Gea to the ball. That’ll do for the first half.
44 mins: There will be two additional minutes. United attempt a late counter-attack, but Rooney doesn’t read Ibrahimovic’s run, dawdling and prodding the ball back to Mata.
42 mins: United are massed behind the ball, to ensure they hold this lead until half time. King drifts into a central area, but is neatly dispossessed by Blind. Another dangerous cross evades Wilson, who’s not ideally suited to that No9 role: I wonder if we’ll see Benik Afobe before too long.
Paul Pogba, watching in a secluded location, will have enjoyed that.
Go go go team! @ManUtd #firstneverfollows pic.twitter.com/XU4yfiO7fA
— Paul Pogba (@paulpogba) August 14, 2016
After matching United throughout this first half, that will be a bitter pill for Bournemouth, and Simon Francis in particular, who undercooked a simple back pass, letting Mata in. His shot bounced off Boruc, against the shins of the unfortunate Francis, and back into Mata’s path, who rolled the ball into an empty net. It had to be him, didn’t it?
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GOAL! Bournemouth 0-1 Manchester United (Mata)
Juan Mata gets the first goal of the José Mourinho era, racing onto Simon Francis’ dreadful back pass and turning the ball in after a lucky ricochet.
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38 mins: The home crowd bay for another free kick as King goes down under Herrera’s challenge – but King rather threw himself into the United midfielder. At the other end, Herrera is involved again, with a lofted through ball that flies beyond Fellaini at the far post.
36 mins: Ibe is given too much time to get his head up, and picks out Daniel, who earns a free kick out on the left. Ibe curls the cross in, a clutch of players tumble over, and Ibrahimovic hoofs the ball away. He’s settling in nicely.
34 mins: Another corner for United, which Rooney takes again, this time from the right. The result is identical – it sails into Boruc’s arms. Fellaini – no stranger to a high elbow – angers Steve Cook by hauling him to the ground.
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32 mins: Rooney keeps David de Gea honest with a back-pass that has more than enough zip on it. He may not have been helped by a slick pitch, which makes it look like they’re playing this match at dawn.
“I hope Martin Tyler doesn’t use a Casio F91W for time keeping” says Kelvin. “He might find himself on a no-fly list”.
30 mins: Wilson comes inches from getting his head to a cross from the right, before United attempt to break at pace – there’s a pattern emerging – but Rooney’s neat layoff is miscontrolled by Shaw.
28 mins: Those early efforts perhaps hitting the hosts’ legs now, with United able to enjoy a spell of possession in the opposing half. They force a corner, stirring the away fans back into full voice, but Boruc claims it comfortably.
A 'patient' Utd tempo thus far...
— jamie jackson (@JamieJackson___) August 14, 2016
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25 mins: King neglects his duties on the left side of the Bournemouth midfield, allowing Valencia in behind. The ball is worked into the box, with Mata teeing up Rooney, who fires low, but straight at Boruc. That was more than a half-chance...
23 mins: Bournemouth are pressing relentlessly, giving United very little time in midfield. Martial gets on the ball and launches another charge in from the left flank – but his ambitious shot from just inside the area flashes wide.
21 mins: Blind wins the ball and attempts to launch a quick break, but Rooney, out on the left, fails to control the ball, much to the home crowd’s glee. It’s been an inauspicious start from the United captain.
19 mins: King’s dancing feet cause problems for Valencia, with Mata dropping deep to help him out – but he ends his run with an early contender for worst shot of the season – a wild effort from an angle that goes out for a throw in.
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“In response to Justin Kavanagh: Bailly’s certainly got pace – he went toe to toe with Vardy last week” argues Max. He’s not been tested so far, with King and Ibe dropping into a busy midfield unit, and Wilson targeting Shaw and Blind on the left.
17 mins: The time on the scoreboard is now being provided by Tag Heuer, apparently. Gone are the days of relying on Martin Tyler’s Casio stopwatch. On Tyler, here’s a little Small Talk:
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15 mins: Wilson chases after a through ball, and clips Blind’s heels. The defender goes down in a heap, but Marriner gives a free-kick. Wilson fires a low shot, just in case, that clips the outside of David de Gea’s far post.
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13 mins: A first sniff of goal for Zlatan Ibrahimovic, getting the jump on Adam Smith at the far post as Valencia delivers a fantastic cross from the right. For a second, an opening goal looks inevitable – but Simon Francis gets his head in first, and takes a clattering in the process.
12 mins: Eric Bailly introduces himself to the Premier League with a late tackle on King that Marriner decides to let slide.
10 mins: The hosts still edging a mid-tempo opening spell, with Smith looking for Wilson, whose lay-off is misjudged, given that nobody was within twenty yards.
9 mins: Martial’s first involvement is a mazy dribble in from the left, before the ball is worked to Mata. His attempted through ball, lofted in from outside the area towards Rooney, is headed clear by Francis.
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7 mins: A bright start for Bournemouth, with Harry Arter and Lewis Cook winning the midfield battle with snappy movement and short passing.
5 mins: Jordon Ibe has had a couple of early touches, roaming infield at every opportunity. Here’s Ian Copestake on the former Liverpool man:
“Am wishing Ibe well as we had great hopes of him as a Sterling replacement. If Eddie Howe can get him to release the ball after he has done his surging runs then they will have a star. Others have tried though and not got through”
I’ll admit to being surprised Liverpool were willing to let Ibe go, even for what is a fair wedge of cash.
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4 mins: A looping cross from Charlie Daniels is miscontrolled by Shaw, presenting the ball to Wilson at a tight angle, but the striker fires wide. A nervous early moment for the United left back.
3 mins: As expected, Ibrahimovic leads the line, with Mata, Martial and Rooney operating behind him. The captain is played in on the right by Valencia, but prods the ball out for a goal kick.
1 min: The visitors move the ball around quickly, decked out all in white, playing left to right. The hosts are in their red and black stripes. Luke Shaw gets a few early touches on his return to Premier League action.
Peep!
Andre Marriner, eager to get stuck into a row with Zlatan Ibrahimovic, gets us started right on time.
“I think United will make a fantasy start” reckons Thabo Mokaleng. “They come out guns blazing, win 0-4 and scare the rest of the league witless. The wheels come as the season wears on, though.” All entirely plausible. We’re about to begin on a lovely day on the south coast...
Justin Kavanagh has concerns. “Bailly seems to read the game very well but lack a yard or two of pace: so will he be more Paul McGrath or Gary Pallister for United?”
“It’s a bit worrisome that he’s paired with Blind, himself not exactly Usain Bolt. One way or the other, Bailly should get a baptism of fire today against Bournemouth’s pacey front line.”
Ten minutes until kick off! This is all very exciting. I have two predictions for you: First: Bournemouth 1-2 Manchester United. Second: the David Brent film is going to be a hard watch.
Your thoughts on today, and the rest of the season to come, are more than welcome.
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Here’s José Mourinho on Juan Mata’s inclusion:
“We have a very good squad, lots of options where I can analyse the training session, the opponent – but Lingard is injured. People said that because I come to United, Mata will leave, but this is not reality. I know what he can and cannot give me… but he has a lot to give. He starts the game, and hopefully starts well.”
Good, and bad, news in that for Juan Mata. Mourinho seemed a little withdrawn, compared to his bullish self. Are there a few nerves beneath the surface?
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Sky have just shown an interesting interview with Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Here are a few choice soundbites:
On joining United: “I don’t turn down a challenge. Make Manchester United shine again, that’s what it’s all about. I could stay for two, maybe three [years]. Let’s see how I perform”
On Marcus Rashford: “I see Rashford as a huge talent, I get to see him live every day… he is the future of England”
On his personality: “I’m a normal person, a family guy… I’m confident, I believe in myself. That’s not arrogance… but when I come on the pitch, I’m a lion. That’s the difference”
“Was that ‘Zlatan Starts’ clip really only three seconds long, or is my phone on the blink?” asks Robert Stevens.
“And if it was only three seconds long then what was the point of it and how do I get those three seconds of my life back?”
Sorry, Robert. This may prove a better use of your time:
Eddie Howe has a steely glint in his eye, and believes Bournemouth can surprise people today. Graeme Souness is a little more cautious, pointing out that Matt Ritchie (and captain Tommy Elphick) have left for second-tier sides, and they’re facing up to a potential bout of second-season syndrome. It didn’t do Leicester any harm, though.
From the studio that brought you ‘Reunited: Pogback’...
So, it’s a Premier League debut for Zlatan Ibrahimovic – and at the 11,500 capacity Vitality Stadium, of all places. Mkhitaryan is on the bench, with fellow summer signing Eric Bailly in at centre-back. Marouane Fellaini starts, as does Juan Mata; both, for different reasons, are a surprise. Let’s not forget the hosts, who have done MBMers no favours by naming two Cooks and two Smiths in their squad. New signing Lewis Cook starts, as does £15m man Jordon Ibe. He looks set to link with Callum Wilson and Josh King in a speedy front three.
Team news
Bournemouth: Boruc; Francis, Adam Smith, Steve Cook,
Daniels; Surman, Arter, Lewis Cook; Ibe, Wilson, King.
Subs: Federici, Gosling, Ake, Afobe, Gradel, Brad Smith, Grabban.
Manchester United: De Gea; Valencia, Bailly, Blind, Shaw; Fellaini,
Ander Herrera; Mata, Rooney, Martial; Ibrahimovic.
Subs: Romero, Rojo, Memphis, Carrick, Rashford, Mkhitaryan, Schneiderlin.
Referee: Andre Marriner
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Preamble
Hello. When these two sides last met, they ended the 2015/16 Premier League season with a whimper. United won a hastily rearranged, poorly attended fixture, sealing their Europa League status but harming Louis van Gaal’s Cup final preparations. It was less than three months ago.
A very different Manchester United swagger into Bournemouth today. After three years of post-Ferguson mourning, the José Mourinho era has begun with a bang. Old friends Paul Pogba, Attacking Football and Title Chasing are back in town. Pogba is suspended today, but Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Zlatan Ibrahimovic should feature in a supercharged unit built to consign recent history into distant memory.
First in front of the juggernaut are little ol’ Bournemouth, but anyone assuming a formality should study a) the English top flight, 1888-2016, and b) the sides’ other meeting last term, where United were memorably undone. That came just days after Glenn Murray popped up at Stamford Bridge to earn a special place in Mourinho’s nightmares.
Bournemouth have assimilated into the top tier with astonishing ease, and are enjoying a scaled-down reboot of their own, spending £30m on four players this summer. That would have been sheer fantasy not so long ago – Maxim Demin bought half the club for less than £1m in 2011 – but this new ambition has barely registered on a long, hot summer of spending led by United.
Mourinho has been quick to preach caution early in the season, but will surely want vengeance for the humiliation both he and his new team suffered last season. Both clubs have been extensively editing their history books since May. Let’s see whose new era is in better shape. Kick off is at 1.30pm; team news to follow.
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