And with that, goodnight.
Beautiful moment with Eddie Howe and @afcbournemouth fans at the end. It is a great thing
— Barney Ronay (@barneyronay) December 12, 2015
Cheers for reading, everyone.
What an effort by Bournemouth, though. This wasn’t a plucky underdog with a backs against the wall effort, this was one team outplaying and outscrapping another. Marvellous stuff, hats off to them.
United really weren’t that bad in the first half, but after the break they were utterly, utterly desperate. Sheesh. No ideas, no creativity, nothing to recommend them at all as a team with anything about them. It’ll be interesting to see what Van Gaal has to say about this.
Great celebration on the Dean Court pitch. Eddie Howe and Arter embrace. Perhaps the most damning thing for United is that this defeat simply wasn’t a surprise.
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Full-time: Bournemouth 2-1 Manchester United
Oh my.
90 mins + 7: Boruc is booked for time-wasting.
90 mins +6: An offside is given, but everyone thinks it’s the final whistle. Not yet...
90 mins + 5: Astounding stupidity from Jones - Murray gets the ball inside his own half, doesn’t really have anywhere to go, tries to hold the ball up and look for something...only for Jones to arrive and boot him up in the air! Incredible!
90 mins + 4: The ball breaks to Gosling in the area after neat work by Murray, but he can’t quite organise his feet/get the space and it’s bundled clear. One minute left...
90 mins +3: Smith does superbly to tackle Depay as United try to attack, then just keeps going, winning a throw deep on the right. Brilliant stuff that sums up this performance by Bournemouth.
90 mins + 1: For a moment it looked like Van Gaal’s grand plan was bringing Phil Jones on to salvage something from this, but as it turns out McNair is injured. But hell, why not stick another attacker on or something? Not really the time to ensure you keep your shape, is it?
90 mins: Borthwich-Jackson plays his team into a bit of trouble near halfway, and the ball is played into the channel. There will be five minutes of added time.
89 mins: Murray engages in what we’ll call ‘smart centre-forward play’, specifically by backing into McNair, then vaulting forwards. It works, and he wins the free-kick.
88 mins: Sorry about this, United fans....
15 goals in his last 12 games for Javier Hernandez... 10 goals in their last 12 games for Manchester United...
— Archie Rhind-Tutt (@archiert1) December 12, 2015
87 mins: Bournemouth are about to follow up beating Chelsea by beating Manchester United. What a world.
86 mins: Arter is going off, limping - he’s replaced by Eunan O’Kane.
84 mins: Both men have received some treatment and seem like they’re going to be fine. Arter had some treatment too, and is currently receiving a hell of a pep talk from Howe. Arter looks on the verge of tears, presumably because of the rather emotional circumstances currently for him. An awful, awful thing.
83 mins: United attack at what passes for pace, for them. Depay spreads it right for Martial, but his low cross isn’t good enough and is blocked. Now, a nasty looking clash of heads between Borthwick-Jackson and Gosling. Ouch.
82 mins: Three for Hernandez!
Javier Hernandez has just scored football's first sarcastic hat trick.
— Andrew Thomas (@andi_thomas) December 12, 2015
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80 mins: Arter lines up a shot from just outside the area, but it goes just wide. “Van Gaal really is a genius,” writes J.R in Illinois, “and that Fellaini substitution was proof. You would think that he would want to leave Fellaini on when United had a free kick that was in prime position to send into the box but he took Fellaini out because he knew Memphis was going to deliver a humiliating free kick that wouldn’t come close to beating the first man.”
78 mins: It’s all a bit much for some...
Nick Powell is playing centre forward for Man Utd
— Barney Ronay (@barneyronay) December 12, 2015
Nick Powell is playing Man Utd for centre forward
— Barney Ronay (@barneyronay) December 12, 2015
Nick centre is forward Powell for Utd Man
— Barney Ronay (@barneyronay) December 12, 2015
77 mins: Another chance for Martial - he creates some space for himself with some quick feet in the box, but he leans back and smacks the left-footed shot over the bar.
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76 mins: Half chance for Martial at the far post as a deep cross finds him, but Cook blocks the shot and Stanislas mops things up and clears.
74 mins: Sub for United - the glorious return of Nick Powell continues, as he comes on for Fellaini. “Meanwhile, Chicharito has scored yet again for Leverkusen,” reports Prateek Chadha. “I really hope someone asks LVG what he has to say about that in the post match interviews.”
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73 mins: Murray again! Bournemouth try another low corner, this time from the right, a clearance at the near post is muffed and it finds the striker about eight yards out - again he swings his left boot, and again he sticks the thing in the stands.
71 mins: Oh my, the game should be over. A colossal hole opens in the United defence when Blind (him again) goes walkabout, and Murray finds himself in some space. He artfully shuffles around McNair, the goal is at his mercy but just as the words “...he’s a great finisher!” tumble from Martin Tyler’s mouth, Murray hoys the thing well over the bar.
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70 mins: Blind has another shaky moment in defence, but the chance disappears when Stanislas and Arter get in each other’s way on the edge of the box.
69 mins: “Strange times when United losing to Bournemouth would be a bad result for Chelsea,” writes Tim Hunter.
68 mins: United try to build something approaching an attack, but they can’t create anything after Borthwick-Jackson’s cross goes awry. Arter asks the referee to stop the game so he can put his boot back on. As you’d imagine, no dice there.
66 mins: The first thing Murray does is shove Varela over in the right-back position. They protest, but it was a clear foul.
65 mins: He does indeed depart, with Glenn Murray on in his place. A change in personnel we can most certainly file under ‘a different sort of problem for the United defence.’
64 mins: King speeds away from McNair just inside the United half, but the bad news for him is that not only does the attack break down, but it looks like he’s pulled his hamstring and will have to go off.
63 mins: Wonder if something’s up with Blind? Smith skips around him with surprising ease, but can’t quite make anything of his cross. End-to-end stuff here from these two - cracking game.
62 mins: Smith belts down the right wing and swings a cross over. Blind misses the thing but, perhaps surprised, so does King in the middle and it goes clear.
61 mins: Another corner, another chance for Fellaini, another ‘thou shall not pass’ block from a Bournemouth defender.
60 mins: United on the attack again. Depay almost reaches the ball in the box, it breaks to Fellaini but his shot is blocked by a combination of the diving Cook and the diving Arter. The corner is nearly a repeat of Bournemouth’s first, but Boruc manages to paw it wide of the post, rather than inside it.
58 mins: Depay carelessly gives away a free-kick with Ritchie going nowhere over in the right corner. The same man flings over the cross, but this time United deal with it competently.
Adam Hirst has been at the Crtl + C Ctrl + V: “Conceding a goal in the second half is the best thing that can happen to Van Gaal’s United. It might force them to play for the whole match with the urgency that they only usually show for the final 20 minutes when needing a goal. With Fellaini in midfield, it also means that they don’t have the long ball option so may have to play some attractive, attacking football.
“We can only hope.”
57 mins: United attack, and the ball finds Fellaini in the area who tries a shot, but Boruc saves, and the follow-up is put behind for a corner.
56 mins: Bournemouth nearly have another straight away. King again drives through the United defence, taking it round McNair, but pushes himself a bit too wide and tries to clip a cross over for Stanislas, but it goes out.
54 mins: Scenes! Ritchie goes for a low corner into the box, choosing not to use the strong wind, and it turns out to be a wise choice, as he finds King around eight yards out, completely free, and he turns it home.
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GOAL! Bournemouth 2-1 Manchester United (King 54)
Well, well, well
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53 mins: Bournemouth knocking on the door. They try an attack that just breaks down inside the area, so they rebuild. The ball finds its way to Francis who drives straight through the defence and shoots, but it’s put wide by De Gea.
52 mins: A good crossfield from Depay finds Pereira on the right, he crosses into the box but Martial takes it away from Fellaini as he prepares to take a shot on goal. The attack fades away.
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51 mins: Carrick causes kittens in the United goal as he wangs a pass that can only be described as ‘spicy’ back to De Gea, but the United keeper deals with it pretty calmly. Stanislas is back on, by the way.
50 mins: United try to build an attack from the left, but a series of errant passes push them right back from 30 yards out on the left, to well inside their own half. Careless stuff, that.
48 mins: I wonder what else Van Gaal has in that folder of his? Seems too big for just a notebook or whatnot. Anyway, Stanislas his down having treatment on his left foot or ankle. Not sure what happened but he doesn’t look massively comfortable.
46 mins: We’re away. Varela shanks the ball out of play on the right.
We’re back out for the second half. No further changes from either side.
Analysis....
@BenMcAleer1 https://t.co/HBDsfqHO37
— Josh Wright (@_WrightJosh) December 12, 2015
Some brightsiding by Prateek Chadha here: “Whatever other issues United fans may have with how the season has turned out so far, I can’t remember the last time I was so excited to see how a bunch of young players and academy prospects thrown in at the deep end do.”
Good half, that. Despite the state of their team, United haven’t actually been that bad, relatively speaking. They’ve lacked a bit of something up top, but what else is new? Bournemouth have had a few half-chances since the goal, but only one real clear-cut one, when De Gea denied Stanislas.
Half-time: Bournemouth 1-1 Manchester United
Peeeeeeeeeeep.
45 mins +2: McNair is dispossessed by King, and he drifts out to the left, swinging over a cross that Ritchie gets a head to on the edge of the area, but it goes wide.
45 mins: Two minutes of added time. Cook is back on.
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44 mins: Cook is down for Bournemouth, needing some treatment, on his face the expression of a man who’s just tried to drink a cup of tea a little prematurely. That, or he’s hurt his foot.
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42 mins: Ritchie finds himself in a yard just outside the box, gets a shot in but while it has a bit of zip to it, is straight at De Gea.
41 mins: Ooof. Pereira goes into the book for a challenge on Stanislas that might, by some referees, have been deemed a two-footer. He really dived in and might have been saved by Stanislas actually staying on his feet and not complaining too vociferously.
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40 mins: Martial comes close to scoring what might have been the most tenacious goal of all time. He scraps and shoves his way out of some trouble on the edge of the box, falls over, gets up then manages to arrange his feet in such a way that he has a chance to shoot, but it’s taken away from him at the last, around six yards from goal.
38 mins: Depay tries to make some space on the left, and could roll it inside to around 15 yards of clear space outside the Bournemouth box, if only Carrick had moved the five yards forward into it. The Dutchman instead tries a deep cross to the back stick, and it drifts out of play.
37 mins: McNair very lucky to get away with something of a rick, giving the ball directly to Stanislas around 30 yards from the United goal, but the ball is bundled away from the Bournemouth man and United breathe easily. For now.
35 mins: King gets the ball on the right and absolutely rinses Blind, but for some reason he then checks back inside and tries a pass to Ritchie on the flank. Alas for them, the winger hadn’t quite read the intention and nothing comes of it.
33 mins: Chance for Bournemouth - Varela is caught napping slightly by Stanislas who makes tracks down the left, but his low cross is pretty strong and King can’t quite direct his stabbed effort on target.
32 mins: Lou Roper’s been back on, replying to (one assumes) Lwazi Ncube on 25 mins: “Of course, United supporters may have expectations: without invoking ‘prawn sandwiches’, they might expect that their expensively assembled squad will fare as well as their predecessors fared under Wilf McGuinness, Tommy Docherty, and Ron Atkinson.”
31 mins: United are back to full strength - Andreas Pereira is on for Lingard. Wonder what Ashley Young has done to remain on the bench while this collection of infants is rolled out before him?
30 mins: Bournemouth try to take advantage of their numerical, erm, advantage, but King can’t quite chase down a ball played down the line on the left.
29 mins: Lingard is limping off the field, and he’s off down the tunnel. Nobody has actually come on in his place yet, which seems slightly careless for United - they’ll play with ten men for the moment.
28 mins: Could be another injury problem for United - Lingard is down, and needs treatment...
27 mins: The first effort is low to the near post and is put behind for another. The second is played short by Stanislas, then he collects the ball again and tries a low shot, but De Gea carefully dives to his right and gathers the ball.
26 mins: Aside from going behind after two minutes, a goal that had more than an element of luck to it, United really haven’t been that bad so far. But here’s another corner from the left...
25 mins: Lwazi Ncube writes: “People say we Man Utd fans are spoilt but surely after a £250 million splurge on players we are right to have expectations. The football on offer is dreary and I would say LVG would have been better suited to a club elsewhere in Europe. Only a few of the players he has bought have been a success.”
24 mins: Carrick spreads a big ball from right to left which Depay brings down in the area and shovels a shot towards goal. That’s saved, it breaks to Fellaini, his first effort is half blocked but he just manages to smuggle the second into the net, while on his knees. They deserve to be level.
GOAL! Bournemouth 1-1 Manchester United (Fellaini 24)
That had been coming, really.
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22 mins: Bournemouth could be two up. Stanislas is set away through the middle, smartly running across the path of his marker to avoid a tackle, and he tries to take it round De Gea. However, the keeper does well to time his dive perfectly and almost delicately pick the ball off the Bournemouth man’s toes.
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21 mins: Positive thinking, with Adam Hirst: “Conceding an early goal is the best thing that can happen to Van Gaal’s United. It might force them to play for the whole match with the urgency that they only usually show for the final 20 minutes when needing a goal. With Fellaini in midfield, it also means that they don’t have the long ball option so may have to play some attractive, attacking football.
“We can only hope.”
20 mins: Spell of possession for United, and Depay works some space to clip over a cross from the left, but the ball is just whipped away from Lingard as he lines up the header at the back stick.
18 mins: United should be level. Stanislas plays a stupid pass without really looking around 30 yards from his own goal. He gives it to Martial who quickly gets onto the ball and runs through on goal, but he snatches at his shot and pulls it well wide. Lucky escape for the hosts there.
16 mins: “Is there no end to the arrogance of the supporters of the European minnows who are visiting the ‘Vitality Stadium’ this evening?” writes Lou Roper. “Bournemouth have an injury list that is almost as long as United’s, including record signing Mings.”
In fairness, I don’t think you’ll find too many United fans being arrogant at the moment.
15 mins: King tries to stretch the United defence with a run into the left channel, but the pass from Stanislas down the line finds him offside.
13 mins: Blind chops King over around 25 yards from goal, and both Ritchie and Stanislas are lining this up. The latter hits it, but that effort was sailing high and wide from the moment it left his boot.
12 mins: United are, in fairness, pressing rather urgently to get back into this...although as I type that they contrive to lose possession from a throw on the halfway line.
10 mins: Excellent few seconds for Fellaini: going up for a cross to the back post, firstly he shoves his marker, then just to really make sure he concedes the free-kick he controls the ball with his arm, then after the whistle goes he shoots about ten yards wide of goal. Strong work, big man.
8 mins: Depay brings down a crossfield pass and feeds inside to Borthwick-Jackson, but his run into the box is halted by a sliding Arter challenge. Blind goes out to take the corner - any other corner-taking centre-halves spring to mind? - but it’s cleared.
6 mins: Thabo Mokaleng has been on: “So what’s the United manager’s realistic expectation out of this? Do fans have the right to expect LVG’s side to roll over - let’s be honest, here - minnows, or does the injury list excuse a draw or a loss?”
5 mins: What a save! United play the free-kick short, it’s then crossed in and breaks to Fellaini, around eight yards out and free, but Boruc flings himself out and throws an arm in the way. The ball goes out to McNair who heads back at goal, but Boruc gets his fingertips to it and pushes the ball away.
4 mins: United have a chance to hit back straight away, but Lingard’s forward run towards the box is halted as he plays a square pass a little behind Depay. The Dutchman is then taken out by Smith on the left, and United have a free-kick in a threatening area.
2 mins: Well holy hell. It’s bloody windy out there, and Stanislas whips an inswinging corner over from the left, the gust catches it and De Gea misjudges it, can only get a fingertip to the ball and it flies into the top corner. What a start!
Updated
GOAL! Bournemouth 1-0 Manchester United (Stanislas 2)
Straight from a corner!
Updated
1 mins: And we’re away. Josh King straight away has a run at Varela and McNair, then Varela puts in what looks like a clean tackle on Stanislas, but is penalised anyway out on the left flank.
The players are out, and there’s about to be some football. Yes. Yes there is.
If for some reason you’d prefer to follow admin, or the Euro 2016 draw as it’s also called, Rob Smyth is taking you through that over here...
Bloody hell, poor guy. What an indescribably horrible thing...
UNITY: #afcb will wear black armbands tonight after Harry Arter & his partner lost their child at birth this week. pic.twitter.com/fNURDmg0nq
— AFC Bournemouth (@afcbournemouth) December 12, 2015
Eddie Howe has a sort of ‘happy to be here, isn’t it grand that Manchester United are playing us’ look on his face. He did also just call the United team “very strong”, so who knows what to believe?
“Are League Cup matches generally played on Saturday evenings?” japes Adam Hirst. “I’m surprised De Gea hasn’t been rested.”
Pre-match reading? Enjoy the tale of the last time these two teams met, Bournemouth’s shock win over United in the 1984 FA Cup, by Paul Wilson, featuring this zinger from Harry Redknapp:
Redknapp had just made a name for himself, and naturally made the most of it. “We’d been to Windsor & Eton in the previous round and got kicked to pieces,” he later recalled. “We got a draw and brought them back to ours knowing that whoever won the replay was going to play United. It was a proper old-fashioned Cup tie in the second round, a real tough game that we just scraped through. To be honest, we had less trouble with United than we did with Windsor & Eton.”
So Chris Smalling and Matteo Darmian are out injured, as expected, while Bastian Schweinsteiger is suspended. Pretty odd that Morgan Schneiderlin still isn’t playing, but it’s a full league debut for defender/regional law firm Cameron Borthwick-Jackson at left-back for Manchester United. That is an iffy-looking back four. Not many surprises for Bournemouth, other than you might have wondered if Glenn Murray would get a start. They’re unchanged from the win at Chelsea, as you might imagine.
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Team news
Bournemouth
Boruc; Smith, Francis, Cook, Daniels; Surman, Ritchie, Arter, Gosling, Stanislas; King. Subs: Pugh, Rantie, Kermorgant, Federici, Distin, Murray, O’Kane.
Manchester United
De Gea; Varela, McNair, Blind, Borthwick-Jackson; Fellaini, Carrick; Mata, Depay, Lingard; Martial. Subs: Jones, Young, Romero, Powell, Schneiderlin, Tuanzebe, Andreas Pereira.
Referee: Anthony Taylor (Cheshire)
Preamble
So Manchester United are no good. Everyone says so. And yet they’re three points off the top of the Premier League. What are we to glean from this? Is it that nobody is any good? Is it that they’re a bit better than we all think? Is it that we’re all too concerned with the style of play and that results are king, rather than entertainment? Are we serfs missing the point of Manchester United, that pretty football isn’t everything and we should all get a grip? Is Louis van Gaal, as people who make decisions at Old Trafford appear to think, really a genius?
All interesting questions. At least Louis is fronting up. Sort of. If you count partly blaming other people and basically telling everyone to get real and stop living in the past as ‘fronting up’...
They say a club like Manchester United has to win,” the manager said. “That’s the past. You have to analyse the club now. Now we have much more clubs who have money … also the structure and are able to win something.
“Next year, all the clubs in the Premier League have a bigger budget than most in Europe. That makes a big difference. Every club can also buy a player. You think Manchester United has a lot of money – that is true. But other clubs are asking for much more from us than from Bournemouth.
“The difference is not so big any more. The confirmation is every week. The bottom clubs can beat the top teams. There is no other league where that happens as often as it does in the Premier League. It is very difficult for a Premier League club to match with the other leagues in the Champions League. It was not so easy for all the clubs to qualify themselves.”
They’re in for a tough task today, too. Bournemouth might not have much by way of widely-recognised Premier League quality, but they have plenty of grit, stones, cojones. Their last two games have seen them turn Chelsea over (admittedly not the most onerous of tasks these days) and storm back to gain an implausible point against Everton. They remain only a hair above the relegation zone, but that’s probably about where most people expected them to be at this stage. For a team with Bournemouth’s resources and injuries, as long as they’re in touch by January when they could potentially get some help in, they will presumably be relatively happy.
Given United’s own injury and suspension concerns, you wouldn’t be at all surprised by a home win here. Stick around to find out.
Kick-off: 5.30pm GMT
