Boris Johnson's bad hair days – in pictures

This – this and a diamond jubilee comprising Gary Barlow, a bladder infection and a dozen dinghies floating down the Thames – is what is representing modern Britain abroad. We should close our borders out of compassion for everyone. Photograph: CBS

Unless he’s just decorated the Tory party conference walls with 100 ionised balloons, this kind of thing is entirely unacceptable. Entirely. Photograph: Graeme Robertson for the Guardian

There are eight million stories in the naked city, but not a single hairdresser in the whole of London, apparently. Photograph: Martin Argles for the Guardian

There’s tousled. There’s artfully tousled. And then there’s this. Photograph: Julian Makey/Rex Features

A veritable short-back-and-sides in honour of Her Maj’s big day. In fact, there’s every chance his mother has just licked her palm and smoothed the front down before letting him out. Photograph: ANDY RAIN/EPA

Most people look total dorks in their cycling helmets. And Boris is no exception. Photograph: Steve Back/Rex Features

We would invite you to reflect briefly on the fact that this man is the freely elected mayor of our capital city and ask yourself whether democracy is really all it’s cracked up to be. Photograph: Julian Makey/Rex Features