When I was learning to drive 30 years ago I used to get in a right tizzy pulling up at traffic lights.
If I was at the front of the queue I’d feel the panic start to rise, convinced that when the light went green I’d kangaroo forward, stall and get honked at by the angry drivers behind me.
It’s one of the reasons I took four attempts to pass my test, and, even now, I get a bit aggy if someone beside me is edging forward revving for the off.
Because traffic lights bring out the worst in us. We hate being made to stop, especially on quiet roads, and feel irritated by the slightest delay.
So we’ll often risk jumping the amber light, and if we do hit red we sit staring at the light, willing it to turn.
Then we’re off as soon as the amber reappears and woe betide the pensioner who’s still on the crossing or the youngster who tried to sprint it when the little man was already flashing.
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But NOTHING is more infuriating than the temporary lights for emergency roadworks.
Especially when they turn out to be faulty and green keeps changing to amber. No one’s going anywhere and everyone starts honking.
You know where I’m going with this tortuous metaphor – because many of you will have been forced to abandon long-awaited journeys because of the Government’s dodgy travel traffic lights.
And tens of thousands who set off for Portugal before they went haywire now have to race home by 4am on Tuesday or spend ten days staring out the living room window at the car parked on Isolation Drive.
No10 has left everyone in a tizzy with this crazy system of green, amber and red countries.
Folk didn’t know if they were coming or going or if they should risk the amber.
Then Boris panicked, slammed on the brakes and stalled all hope of a summer recovery for the desperate travel industry.
Of course, we must be cautious about the new Covid variants and follow the science, as he keeps saying.
But the Government has to stop kangarooing forward then going into reverse.
If the vaccination programme is as successful as ministers tell us then we must be able to proceed with caution on our long-awaited foreign trips.
So ditch the dodgy traffic lights, Boris and find yourself a hi-vis jacket and a green and yellow lollipop. Because we only need two signals now, STOP or GO.
And it’s up to you to get us all moving on the road to holiday freedom.
