For a lot of young people, the Bondi attack didn’t arrive as a breaking news banner on TV — it was live-posted footage, graphic videos and frantic updates dropping straight into their feeds. It’s one thing to know something terrible has happened, it’s another to have the most graphic moments auto‑playing in your hand, over and over, before you’ve even had a chance to brace yourself.
A lot of the existing (and important) advice is written for parents of young kids, not for those who are trying to keep working, studying and existing online while their feeds are full of trauma. So to get some clear, practical guidance, we spoke to psychologist Sahra O’Doherty, President of the Australian Association of Psychologists, about what this kind of exposure does to our bodies and brains — and what can actually help.
“We’re actually being exposed to something that is so outside of our everyday experience and is so graphic and violent, and something that quite honestly doesn’t belong in Australia,” O’Doherty explained.
Watching it play out in real time, often without warnings, drags our nervous system into a state of urgency: “The suddenness and the uncontrollability of it really does impact our nervous system. It can make us feel very, very anxious and very stressed.”
Because the content is so raw and close‑up, the impact doesn’t stay on the screen. O’Doherty says people might notice changes to their sleep, nightmares, or flashbacks to particular images because of how graphic they are. Feeling uneasy or unsafe is also common, especially when the violence is happening in a place that’s “not just so close to home, but we’re watching it through devices that are in our hands, very close to our faces” rather than on a distant TV in a room with other people.
Why rewatching the footage keeps you stuck
You’ve probably seen the advice to “just log off” or “stop doomscrolling”, which can feel a bit unrealistic when your social life, news and work all live on the same handful of apps.
O’Doherty acknowledges that you can’t delete the internet. Instead, suggests asking yourself this one blunt question before you tap on another clip: “Do I need to watch the same footage on repeat? Do I need to know everything that has happened in this event?”
She points out that while those first graphic posts often appeared without consent, what happens later can become more intentional. If you keep searching for more videos, following links and going from “one piece of content to the next to the next”, you’re not actually gaining new understanding.
“Seeing the same footage or images or content on repeat… doesn’t allow us or support us to process what we’ve already learned,” she said.
“All it does is keep re‑exposing us to the same graphic content. And that continues our sense of anxiety and our sense of stress that we might be feeling.”
In practical terms, that might mean muting certain keywords, unfollowing accounts that are posting repeated graphic content, or deciding you’ve seen enough and actively choosing not to click even if it’s trending. You’re not being ignorant, you’re giving your brain a chance to catch up.
Feeling guilty for looking away is normal
Alongside the shock, a lot of people have talked about guilt — guilt for turning off the footage, guilt for feeling personally rattled when they weren’t physically there, or guilt that anything they do feels small compared to what victims and families are going through. O’Doherty says that has a name.
“What you’re talking about there is what’s known as ‘survivor’s guilt’,” she explained.
She’s seeing a lot of people across Sydney and Australia experiencing grief, especially because Bondi is such an everyday place. Many of us have been there, know someone in the area or are part of communities that have been directly targeted, including the Jewish community and those living in Sydney’s eastern suburbs.
When that helplessness kicks in, she suggests asking what you can do with it: “We can make some decisions about how we can first of all support ourselves through it, talk through and process how we’re feeling about it, and turn some of that guilt and that helplessness into action.”
That action doesn’t have to be huge. O’Doherty notes that people have already been lining up to donate blood, visiting the site to lay flowers and be present, and finding ways to connect in person.
For her, the priority is that “we connect with our communities, our neighbours, and make sure that these sorts of events don’t divide us further”, channelling distress into compassion and mutual support rather than “allowing anger or vitriol to boil over into something like retaliation”.
Practical ways to look after yourself and your community
O’Doherty says there are a few simple, concrete things young people can do that both support their own nervous systems and deepen community care at the same time.
Check in with yourself regularly
- Notice shifts in your mood and behaviour. If you’re feeling more withdrawn, more anxious, more stressed or more angry than usual, that’s worth paying attention to.
- Treat those changes as information, not failure. “Notice what we’re experiencing and speak to somebody about it,” O’Doherty said — whether that’s a friend, a loved one or a professional.
Be intentional with your feeds
- Limit rewatching graphic content. Replaying the same clips will “keep re‑exposing us to the same graphic content” without adding anything new, and can keep your body in a state of alarm.
- Balance what you’re seeing. Where you can, lean towards “hopeful or supportive or community‑based” content that focuses on connection, contribution and people coming together, rather than posts that are purely inflammatory.
Stay connected to people you trust
- Talk it out with friends and family. Even “friendly chats” about how you’re actually feeling can be incredibly helpful, especially if you’ve been bottling things up.
- Reach out to people directly affected. That might look like checking in on Jewish friends, mates who live in the area or anyone you know who’s struggling, and “actually demonstrating and verbalising that care out loud”.
Channel helplessness into action
- Do something tangible, if you’re able. O’Doherty mentions donating blood, giving to charities and community groups supporting victims, or contributing to verified fundraisers as practical options.
- Remember that small actions still matter. Having ways to help can “empower us to feel like we’re not just sitting back helplessly and unable to do something”.
Gently face, rather than feed, the fear
- Notice if you start avoiding places or situations. If your routines are disrupted or you feel scared of spaces that remind you of what happened, try not to simply give in to that avoidance.
- Talk it through and take small steps. O’Doherty stresses “ensuring that we are not just giving in to those fears, but that we’re working through those fears so that we can regain a sense of normalcy”.
Keep the rarity of this in mind
- Context isn’t a cure, but it can steady you. O’Doherty emphasises that “this is a very, very rare event that occurs in Australia”, and reminding yourself of that over time can support “our sense of safety and comfort in where we live and in our communities”.
When a friend might need more than a check‑in
Sometimes the person you’re most worried about isn’t you, it’s a mate who doesn’t seem like themselves. O’Doherty says there are some clear signs it might be time to gently suggest extra support.
Big changes in how they’re showing up
- Becoming much quieter or more withdrawn, pulling away from social stuff, or seeming flat and disconnected can all point to “social isolation, pulling away, more of those depressive symptoms”.
- On the flip side, they might become more anxious or fearful, changing their routines, not wanting to go out or even leave the house because of fear.
Anger that feels out of character
- If you’re noticing a lot more anger than usual — especially “angry, aggressive, or retaliatory behaviour” — that can also be a sign they’re not coping. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad person; it means something hurt is spilling over.
What you can actually do
- Start with a check‑in. “If our friends are basically displaying any big changes from their normal behaviour – we absolutely need to check on them, listen to them, be there for them,” O’Doherty explained.
- Suggest support, not ultimatums. You might say things like, “Have you seen your GP? Have you spoken to anyone about this?” If they already see a psychologist, encourage them to book in a session.
- Remember your role. You don’t have to be their therapist. Being a calm, non‑judgemental friend who helps them connect to proper support is more than enough.
Where to get support if you’re struggling
If you’re finding any of this hard to shake — whether you were there, know someone who was, or are just overwhelmed by what you’ve seen — there is free help available right now. NSW Health has activated a mental health disaster response in the wake of Sunday’s tragedy, with trained clinicians working on the ground in Bondi and Coogee to offer psychological first aid and ongoing support.
On-the-ground support in Bondi and Coogee
- Clinicians are stationed in the community, wearing hi‑vis NSW Health vests so they’re easy to spot, and are available daily from 8am to 8pm to listen, provide immediate support and connect people with further care.
Community and culturally‑specific supports
- The NSW Government is working with non‑profit organisation Jewish House and other community and NGO mental health services to make sure support is culturally appropriate and widely accessible.
- Disaster welfare officers, chaplains and Red Cross staff trained in psychological first aid are also on hand at Coogee and other reception centres to support anyone affected.
Local services with boosted capacity
- Safe Haven at Sydney Children’s Hospital Randwick is operating extended hours to provide a safe, non‑clinical space for people in distress.
- Headspace Bondi Junction is open weekdays and can support young people with mental health concerns.
- NSW Health public hospitals, including Prince of Wales Hospital, St Vincent’s Hospital and Sydney Children’s Hospital, are offering 24/7 mental health support through their emergency departments and mental health teams.
24/7 phone and online support
- NSW Health’s Mental Health Line (1800 011 511) has increased staffing and is available 24/7 for anyone in NSW who needs advice, support or a referral.
- The Transcultural Mental Health Line (1800 648 911) is available for people from culturally and linguistically diverse communities who would prefer in‑language support.
- Lifeline is available on 13 11 14 for crisis support, and Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) offers phone and online counselling for children and young people.
- Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636) can help with non‑crisis mental health advice, and speaking with a GP or trusted health professional is strongly encouraged if things feel like they’re getting on top of you.
Trauma can show up as sadness, anxiety, anger or numbness, and there’s no “right” way to respond – but you don’t have to do it alone.
Lead image: Getty Images
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