Oh, to be a fly on the wall of the Oval Office this week. Donald Trump‘s close links with the modern era’s most hated pedophile, Jeffrey Epstein, have continued to dog his administration, with each fresh batch of released information somehow making Trump look worse.
This week, we saw an email from Epstein in early 2019 that said, “of course [Trump] knew about the girls as he asked Ghislaine to stop”. Another said that Trump had spent “hours” at Epstein’s house with one of his teenage girl victims.
The official line is that this unnamed victim was Virginia Giuffre, with Karoline Leavitt insisting this means Trump’s hands are clean. Conveniently for the White House, Giuffre is dead, so she can’t contradict their story.
Anyway, a week of headlines insinuating that Trump was sexually involved with Epstein’s underage victims isn’t great for MAGA. They needed something to calm the story down, some way to show the world that Trump is safe around children, something that’s not quite so on the nose as just letting some kids run around the Oval Office…
But they couldn’t think of anything better, so they just let some kids run around the Oval Office while Trump did an unconvincing grandfather routine:
The best president.
— The White House (@WhiteHouse) November 13, 2025pic.twitter.com/Re11MKHg59
The subtext is clear: Look! It’s totally safe for this guy to be around kids! He’s not even trying to have sex with any of them!
“The last president you want around children”
It’s safe to say the comments aren’t having it, theorizing that this post is such a bad idea that whoever’s running the White House social media must secretly hate him:
"You say there is proof he rapes kids, but here he is with kids and he isn't raping them, Checkmate Liberals"
— Kieran (@kieran_nelligan) November 14, 2025
The last president you want around children
— Chris (@tvg94550) November 14, 2025
Or is it just poor timing?
— Zac (@Zacsquatch3) November 14, 2025
Trump and his team almost certainly know what’s in the Epstein files. We can’t guess what that might be, but the frantic desperation with MAGA is trying to stop their release, arguing that they’re a Democrat plot, and even trying out the argument that Epstein isn’t technically a pedophile indicates it’s something juicy.
Either way, this whole situation has brought a certain scene from It’s Always Sunny… to mind:
iasip frank it's always sunny WE DEFINITELY GOTTA WRITE A SONG ABOUT HOW WE DO NOT DIDDLE KIDS do not didle kids its no good diddling kids pic.twitter.com/ltcNYDUrkV
— huh (@ganseybcy) June 14, 2025
As the walls close in, the stink of desperation as they try to wriggle out of this is growing ever stronger. Here’s hoping the truth emerges soon!
