Unless you have been in hibernation, it was impossible not to avoid some exposure to the Big Event in Singapore last week. There has been enough analysis to fill the Grand Canyon, so we'll skip that stuff. Suffice to say it was certainly historic and quite gripping in a theatrical sort of way.
I certainly didn't envy the media covering the event. One BBC reporter in Singapore said she had got up at 3.30am and she was still on air at 9pm -- now that's a long day, particularly in the Singapore heat. In the early morning, the TV crews appeared relatively fresh, but by midday you could see the beads of sweat forming on the reporters' faces and by early evening some of them were visibly wilting, the humidity in Singapore definitely taking its toll.
The media analysts attempted to interpret what was going on with a backdrop of Sentosa's cable cars, if not exactly climbing "halfway to the stars" at least making it as far as Mount Faber. Then there was that funny-looking hotel -- Marina Bay Sands -- with what looks like a boat parked on top of it. Occasional shots of the Fairytale Castle at the adjacent Universal Studios added to the fanciful atmosphere.
However, the lasting image had to be of those North Korean bodyguards in smart suits and ties running alongside Chairman Kim's Mercedes-Benz limousine in sweltering Singapore. Their synchronised jogging was most impressive, especially considering they wouldn't experience too much "warm weather training" back home. They are all known for their marksmanship, martial arts and physical fitness and you definitely would not want to mess with these gentlemen.
If there was a Synchronised Jogging in Tight Suits event at the Olympics, we know who would win gold.
Nuns with guns
Probably the most well-known bodyguards were the gun-toting females who protected former Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi. Officially known as the Revolutionary Nuns, they were dubbed by journalists as the Amazonian Guard. There were about 40 of them and they were said to be fiercely loyal to their boss. One even took a bullet for him in 1998. To qualify, they had to be virgins and trained killers, a rather odd combination to put on your CV.
Despite their supposedly chaste background, most of them wore lipstick, had polished nails, heavy mascara, coiffed hair and looked pretty cool in their designer sunglasses. Some even wore high heels, which must have been tricky in times of combat. Whatever befell them after Gadhafi's demise in 2011, there's no doubt they had a few tales to tell.
Fantasy and reality
The image most of us have of bodyguards is inevitably coloured by what we see in the movies. One that springs to mind is In the Line of Fire (1993) starring Clint Eastwood as an over the hill Secret Service man who has to put his life on the line for the president.
Another is The Bodyguard (1992) with Kevin Costner assigned to protect a superstar singer played by Whitney Houston. He naturally saves her life and actually ends up in bed with her, a perk probably not mentioned in job application forms.
In reality, being a bodyguard must be pretty boring, with repetitive training and lots of hanging around, perhaps occasionally barking "no autographs".
Many celebrities have bodyguards, although cynics suggest this is just to attract attention to themselves. One actor who has little time for minders is Al Pacino. He has a simple explanation: "I don't need bodyguards, I'm from the South Bronx."
Keeping Churchill alive
Some bodyguards are remarkably loyal. Walter H Thompson was responsible for looking after the safety of Winston Churchill from 1921-35 and 1939-45. He was paid the handsome sum of five pounds (220 baht) a week. He reportedly saved Churchill from life-threatening situations on about 20 occasions, so he was worth every penny of that fiver.
Thompson spent more time with Churchill than any other person, so much so that Churchill's wife Clemmie got quite upset, calling him a "perpetual annoyance." Her husband saw it differently though and called Thompson "my faithful, vigilant guardian." His experiences became a TV series, Churchill's Bodyguard.
Blair's bunglers
One former British prime minister, Tony Blair, didn't have much luck with bodyguards. In 2008 one of his protectors caused a major security scare at Israel's Ben Gurion airport when his gun accidentally went off, creating considerable panic.
The year before, there was another embarrassing incident when one of Mr Blair's female bodyguards left a loaded semi-automatic Glock 17 on the floor of a Starbucks toilet. It was discovered by a staff member who called the police. Any hopes of a cover-up disappeared the next morning when The Sun carried the headline "Cappuccino With An Extra Shot Please" with a comment on how the bodyguard's career was "down the pan''. They even carried a photo of the offending toilet.
Hoary myth
My thanks to Barry Kenyon for pointing out (PostBag, June 14) that I was guilty of repeating a "hoary myth" in last week's column. As he states, those responsible for detaining 30 elderly bridge players in 2015 were not Pattaya police, but "a civilian licensing officer and army troopers".
Not wanting to perpetuate a "hoary myth", I stand corrected. Happily, as Mr Kenyon reports, no charges were brought against the bridge players and they had their passports and bail money returned.
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