Last week, a Thai musician got into scorching hot water for sharing pictures and a video clip of him being "affectionate" with his nine-year-old daughter via his Instagram and TikTok. I put the quotation there since the public promptly questioned his social media display of affection towards his daughter, to say the least. Warning, I'm about to describe what he did to show the extent of his actions and you may find it very unpleasant.
In one picture, he appeared to grab her buttock from behind while they were about to enter an elevator. In another one, his hand was in her pyjamas pants when she was playing the piano. In another one, he kissed her near the mouth while touching her belly from behind with one of his hands under her clothes. In yet another, his pre-teen daughter is seen sucking on his nipple, where he says in the caption, "Men can breastfeed their kids (a heart emoji) For your [his daughter] happiness (a kiss-blowing smiley)".
Physical contact between family members as a way to show affection is healthy but it also comes with boundaries. However, when I saw these aforementioned pictures, I can't help if the P-word and I-word come to mind.
The musician issued an apology, saying that he acknowledged those who criticised his actions towards his daughter and deemed them inappropriate. He said he would be more careful with how he shows affection towards his daughter in the future. He insisted he supports the display of affection between family members with boundaries and mutual respect. His wife, who took some of these pictures, said she understood that people criticised him out of good intentions and that their family would be more careful.
It was also reported that police under the child protection unit may call him in to ask questions about the incident. If they follow through, I hope for the best outcome for his daughter and the family, and I'm not here to pile on the musician, who's still dealing with the backlash.
What's concerning for me is the attitude of a few members of the public towards this incident. While the overwhelming majority condemned his actions, wondered about the full extent of his actions as these pictures are what he allowed the public to see and called into question the mental state of him and his wife in the comments section, a few defended him. They compared it to similar things they did to their daughters or even said that every family has its own norms when it comes to showing affection. I really hope that these minorities are just trolls but they don't appear to be so.
Even more concerning, in my opinion, are the authorities who're supposed to speak out against such actions for the sake of children but have been very disappointing in their responses. One, in particular, is of Minister of Social Development and Human Security Juti Krairiksh who said last Wednesday that it's a matter between father and daughter, and that we ought to give the family personal space and everyone needs personal space. He said he believed that they (the father, wife and daughter) all love each other and encouraged the father to be patient since he's a public figure. He added that hugging between family members is normal but some families may be a bit unusual but it's their business.
The irony is that, on the same day, the Department of Children and Youth under his own ministry posted about infringement on children's body autonomy and how to express love within boundaries so the recipient wouldn't feel uncomfortable on its Facebook page. In the ideal world, I think that should have been his response.
Doing anything less than condemning his actions, not necessarily the man himself, is the wrong response to this incident. In not condemning his actions outright, they end up condoning or even normalising this kind of behaviour.
If such behaviour is considered inappropriate between children and adults in any other circumstances, what makes them okay or "family business" when they occur between parents and their children. Isn't home supposed to be the safest place for any child? When something is not okay, we need to call it as it is.
