It was weird and unpredictable, a college basketball season that started late, stopped often and lurched crazily. Many doubted it would get this far, yet here we are, with 68 teams convening in the middle of Indiana, and the primary goals haven’t changed.
It’s all about cutting the nets and passing the (COVID) tests.
After a one-year hiatus, the NCAA Tournament is back, even if we don’t quite recognize it. All the games will be played in and around Indianapolis, with two courts set up in Lucas Oil Stadium. There’ll be some fans, a few media members and lots of disinfectant wipes.
It’s not ideal and not guaranteed to work, but for all that has happened, it might be the most wonderful Tournament ever. The joy will be pure and the effort immense because everyone – players, coaches, staffs, Zoom operators, $%#*@& refs – endured so much.
Michigan is a No. 1 seed but must overcome an injury to senior star Isaiah Livers. Michigan State is an 11 seed and is required to fill out more paperwork against UCLA before it actually plays in the first round.
You have questions, and as always, I have answers.
— Question: Why are all the games in Indiana, which hasn’t been a basketball state for years?
— Answer: Well, that’s just not true. Purdue is in the Tournament. Notre Dame and Butler weren’t awful (actually, they were). And Indiana is planning to be back after it’s done handing stacks of buyout cash to fired coach Archie Miller.
— Q: Speaking of that, who might the Hoosiers hire to return them to the glory that most people in America only faintly recall?
— A: John Beilein would be an excellent choice, but he left Michigan because of the sport’s ever-escalating demands and is doing a terrific job on the Big Ten Network. He’s 68, and if boosters indeed are making the decisions, Beilein probably doesn’t want to deal with Jimmy Chitwood and the town folk reminiscing about that time they ran the “picket fence.”
— Q: Back to the original question, why are all the games around Indianapolis?
— A: Not sure if you’re aware, but travel is limited during the pandemic. Also, Indy is a great city with hotels and arenas in close proximity. Also, a delicacy indigenous to the area is the shrimp cocktail, served at St. Elmo with horseradish that’ll curl your toes and uncurl your hair.
— Q: What’s unusual about this Tournament field?
— A: Well, it’s the first time in 45 years that Duke, Kentucky or Louisville isn’t in. And it’s been 45 years since an undefeated team won the title. Indiana did it in 1976 and that squad, in its current physical condition, would be favored by 6.5 points over today’s Hoosiers.
— Q: I hear Gonzaga is 26-0. Can the Bulldogs/Zags finish off their perfect season?
— A: After an arduous run through the Big West Coast Athletic Mountain Conference, toughened by multiple scrimmages against St. Mary’s, Santa Clara, San Francisco, San Luis Obispo and San Diego (only one of those is made up), Gonzaga is a near-lock to reach the Sweet 16.
— Q: OK, give me a big-time upset possibility.
Hunter Hale and Winthrop have put together a 23-1 season so far, which includes a Big South championship.
— A: I like 12th-seeded Winthrop because Villanova’s lead guard is injured and because everyone is picking the upset, from bracketologists to biologists to proctologists, who are uniquely qualified to have an opinion.
— Q: Winthorp? Who’s that?
— A: Winthorp was my butler until an unfortunate incident involving a liquor cabinet. Winthrop is a small school in South Carolina that’s 23-1 with its lone loss to UNCA, a hyphenated team somewhere in the Carolinas.
— Q: How about an exciting first-round game no one is talking about?
— A: How about third-seeded Arkansas and No. 14 Colgate, two of the highest-scoring teams in the country. If Colgate gets over the Crest, it can Aim high. And I officially have no shame.
— Q: It appears the Big Ten is quite powerful. Did it deserve nine teams?
— A: Sure. Illinois and Michigan are No. 1 seeds, Ohio State and Iowa are No. 2s. That’s impressive for a conference that hasn’t captured the national title since 2000, when Tom Izzo had dark, thick hair.
— Q: Who’s in danger of getting knocked out first?
— A: I’d say Iowa, which opens against a program called Grand Canyon, always a very, very deep team. The Hawkeyes play minimal defense and love to shoot, so they’ll be in trouble if they can’t throw the ball in the Grand Canyon.
— Q: OK, let’s hear some sleepers. You know, teams seeded fairly low that could go on a shocking run.
— A: I’d probably stick with the traditional upset-minded scrappers — North Carolina, Connecticut, UCLA, Michigan State. Weird, right? Some non-traditional candidates that truly could make a run — Florida State, Texas Tech, San Diego State, Oklahoma State.
— Q: Why Okie State?
— A: Because the Cowboys ride with presumptive NBA No. 1 pick Cade Cunningham, scheduled to play next season in Little Caesars Arena.
— Q: Why have I spotted NCAA renegade Rick Pitino slinking around the Indy area?
— A: Because he brought Iona to the Tournament despite COVID issues that limited the Gaels to a 12-5 record. This Tournament welcomes everyone, guys and Gaels.
— Q: Time to discuss the local teams. The Spartans got stuck in the First Four on Thursday night. Is that fair?
— A: If you look at their three victories over top-five teams, no. But losing 12 of 27 games, including several by huge margins, wasn’t a great strategy. So they have to schlep over to West Lafayette and play UCLA in the dead of night. I give Izzo credit for extending his Tournament streak to 23 years, while inexplicably declining to use a point guard.
— Q: No way Michigan State wins three in a row this weekend, right?
Joshua Langford and Michigan State are an 11 seed in this year's NCAA Tournament, while Michigan is a top seed.
— A: Haha. No way you’ve ever watched the Spartans in the Tournament.
— Q: How devastating is the loss of Livers for Michigan?
— A: It’s a blow, no doubt. But even without Livers, the tenacious Wolverines have plenty of “onions,” as CBS treasure Bill Raftery is known to exclaim.
— Q: Speaking of broadcasters, what do you think of the omnipresent Jay Bilas?
— A: He uses lots of big words and is funny, smart and insightful. But when it comes to bloviating on the “exploitation” of unpaid college players, he sounds hypocritical, as he bloviates on the exploits of unpaid college players.
— Q: Can the Wolverines still reach the Final Four?
— A: Sure. Juwan Howard has done a great job, and as long as opposing coaches don’t tattle on him for leaving the coach’s box, he should be fine. Look for Franz Wagner to elevate his game and savvy Mike Smith to continue elevating his hair. If they somehow slip past Mount St. Mary’s or Texas Southern, the Wolverines should get on a roll.
— Q: Time for your picks, you’ve delayed long enough. It sure seems like this Tournament is Gonzaga Vs Everybody, doesn’t it?
— A: Detroit Vs Everybody would like a word, please. My Final Four is Gonzaga, North Carolina, Illinois and Alabama. If Livers somehow makes it back, pencil Michigan in. If not, a loss to Bama in the Elite Eight.
— Q: And the winner?
— A: It’s the team good enough to win it all but not good enough to win the Big Ten regular season. Heyo, it’s Ayo Dosunmu and the Illini over Gonzaga for the championship. Fans will weep during the “One Shining Moment” montage featuring the Tournament’s greatest moments, including extensive video clips of nasal swabbing.
