That's all for now …
Thanks to everyone who posted questions.
Andrewmcf asks:
Did the midges in the England-Tunisia game fly over the top of the stadium or through the turnstiles?
Feeling old …
booklady asks:
No, you can’t possibly be two old men. I am the same generation as you, and I am just a flightly little thing … OK, I might just be looking at my sixth decade. Do you honestly feel like two old men?
Guardian contributor Bob: I feel very old at the moment. At some point 12 months ago, I glanced up at the sink, saw my face and it was an old man looking back at me.
Paul: You wear old man shoes.
Bob: Strictly comfort.
Paul: It's funny seeing yourself on screen, not in character. If I stand correctly in the mirror I can frame it so that I still have hair. But the camera doesn't lie.
Updated
marcusbmob asks:
Bob, when you were a wee’un in the Boro, did you ever listen to Mark Page and Alastair Pirrie on Radio Tees in the 70s? And did they influence you and Vic?
Guardian contributor Bob: I didn't listen to Mark Paige but he lived over the road from me and we used to play football together over the road. Alastair Pirrie, I've no memory of.
Jon Cockroft asks:
What’s your favourite service station?
Guardian contributor Bob: Fleet services on the M3. The only one that has Burger King and McDonalds. And the only service station that has a secret U-Turn available if you know what you're doing. And the only one that is in a pine forest.
Paul: I know Fleet services very well, probably better than Bob. And I'm slightly bored of it. There's a really modern eco-one somewhere in Gloucestershire. It's like Teletubbies. There's not Burger King, McDonalds, KFC at all. Nice healthy food.
Bob: Gnocchi on a spade.
EsIstGeschlossen asks:
Bob, your work has always been eclectic but it seems like Athletico Mince gives you ultimate freedom in that you can make up stupid stories about footballers with silly voices but also try out your brass hand material, recount anus-obsessed South Africans, talk about new potatoes and sing songs about Sunderland’s world-class tourist infrastructure. Is this sheer freedom something you enjoy about the podcast medium, and does it mean you can keep the show fresh for ever?
Guardian contributor Bob: It is very liberating just saying what ever I want with no censorship or comeback. The quality can be variable.
Paul: I listen to Athletico Mince when I'm doing cardio. I'm entertained but very shocked at how anus-obsessed Bob is.
Bob: Any time I listen back I'm disgusted, and promise never to do it again. But I do.
'It's not laddish, it's not sexual, it's Brexit-free'
Karen Eliot asks:
Is this a remake of Ted and Ralph?
Guardian contributor Paul: [laughs]. No we're on an equal footing.
Bob: there's no sexual frisson. it's not laddish, it's not sexual, it's Brexit-free.
pellihno asks:
Boys, how close to shitting myself would I come should I try an open mic comedy night?
Guardian contributor Paul: depends on your material.
Bob: It would be like the only thing keeping it from falling out would be the wing of a mosquito. it would be that close.
Paul: Harry got scared before going on our tour. I had to go 'come on, it's 25 years of you'.
Daniel Southwould asks:
How come we never got another series of Happiness? As much as I loved that ending it still felt a little unfinished.
Guardian contributor Paul: We did two series. I can't remember whether we felt it came to a natural end or whether the BBC weren't that keen. But it was great working with Johnny.
ehywhat asks:
If Jacob Rees-Mogg ate a cheese and onion crisp butty, would that be all right or would it be cultural appropriation?
Guardian contributor Paul: You know a lot about Jacob Rees Mogg, don't you Bob?
Bob: I sometimes think he might make a terrific amount of money out of Brexit, so it makes me question his motives.
Paul: Libertarian anarchist Bob Mortimer! In his Ralph Lauren jacket.
LucyMSP asks:
Who’s your favourite character that each other plays?
Guardian contributor Paul: My favourite of Bob's is Graham Lister. I like Barry Homeowner he does on his podcast, and his Peter Beardsley. But that's not a character.
Bob: That's real life. I've been looking at all Paul's stuff. I hadn't seen Jumpers for Goalposts for ages. Very funny. Smashie and Nicey. I expected that to feel more of its time, but it was one of my favourites.
Nigel P asks:
I’ve always thought darts player Michael van Gerwen should have nicked George Dawes’ persona and come out in an adult babygrow to Led Zep’s Black Dog.
To both: What would be your darts walk-on music and nickname?
Guardian contributor Bob: My walk-on music would be Queen – One Vision. I did do a darts show and I was called Bobby 'Carpets' Mortimer. And my cape was made of carpet samples. I was trying to encourage people to carpet instead of laminate.
iiiiii asks:
What kind of TV series would you like to see Vic Reeves and Harry Enfield work together on?
Guardian contributor Paul: They'd be great as a couple of cops. One gay one straight.
Bob: One daft one genius.
Paul: One's an idiot savant. The other thing I thought, we could do a tour and you do a set and we do a set.
Bob: Harry, Paul, Vic and Bob.
Paul: I did talk to bob about it.
Bob: We did Fast Show and Shooting Stars.
Glen Pierce asks:
Cup a Soup minestrone or chicken?
Guardian contributor Paul: I;ve never had a Cup A soup. Have you Bob?
Bob: My mum used to feed us a lot with Bachelors square-shaped soup. I would choose minestrone. You get more bits.
Paul: It seemed very foreign to me.
Bob: What you see as foreign I see as exciting.
unclestinky asks:
Bob: Are you running out of ludicrous but true stories for Would I Lie to You? shows?
Guardian contributor Bob: I've just recorded a new episode, and I think it features three of my most ludicrous or maybe true stories. Crackers.
Paul: Are they lies?
Bob: I'm not saying.
An answer to the perennial Pixar question …
The0rb asks:
Who are your favourite/least favourite comedians who continue to perform?
Guardian contributor Bob: I'm not going to say Paul, cos that's creepy. My favourite is Matt Berry. Oh and Reese Shearsmith.
Paul: Lucy Montgomery. Simon Day. And in the stand up world Lee Mack makes me laugh a lot, and Mickey Flanagan is very funny.
kingmaker asks:
Paul: Can you recommend somewhere to go fly fishing near Edinburgh?
Guardian contributor Paul: I used something called the internet to look it up! Apparently Loganlea Fishery. And the Twee is a well-known salmon river, but it's got some trout as well.
quickspace asks:
I was really impressed by Paul’s turn as the security guard in Ghost Stories. He nailed the character completely. I also have Bob to thank for the funniest sketch of all time, in Bang, Bang, where he and Vic visit a petrol station and there’s a nod to film The Exterminating Angel, where neither them or the monkeys next to them can leave. It’s been 20 years since we watched that episode as students in Norwich and it still is remembered by us all as the gem. It also has the legendary The Club episode with the “intruders in kitchen”.
Bob: What is your favourite comedy sketch of all time?
Paul: What’s your favourite serious scene of all time?
Guardian contributor Bob: My favourite comedy sketch of all time is Spike Milligan's Opera Lady. And my favourite scene of all time is when Paddy Considine threatens the father with a hammer in A Room For Romeo Brass.
Paul: It's not original but probably Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver, looking in the mirror.
bloodydoorsoff asks:
Could you do a vegan episode, where you just sit on the bank of the river?
Guardian contributor Paul: Yes is the answer. Most of the pollution in this country goes unchecked except by anglers groups. The eco-system is maintained by fisherman or anglers groups.
Tom Callaghan asks:
Bob: Who would win in a game of seize the chair? Paul or yourself?
Guardian contributor Paul: What is seize the chair.
Bob: It's a game in Reeves and Mortimer where the rules don't work.
Paul: Like the game. Where you lose the game if you think about the game.
Bob: I don't understand it.
DanielWygota asks:
Paul, have you watched your movie, Ghost Stories? And did you find it scary?
Guardian contributor Paul: Funnily enough, it was a scary place we filmed it in. Salter in Yorkshire, there's a Hockney gallery there, and it used to be mill village. We filmed in the basement and it was pretty grim. It's a scary film but I knew what was going to happen.
Kate Rees asks:
What’s your favourite fish, and how should you serve it?
Guardian contributor Bob: My favourite is a dover sole, grilled, served with nothing.
Paul: I think mine is probably blackened miso cod. But I don't mind a light batter occasionally. We can't eat battered fish, Bob.
gordonjim asks:
Mortimer and Whitehouse are breeds of fish. Is this a coincidence or did you choose to do a fishing programme for this reason?
Guardian contributor Paul: Are you serious? I've caught every fish that swims, including a one and a half pound mortimer.
Working in law was hard: I kept getting sued by clients
JBintheUK asks:
While you both trained outside of being Comedy Gods (because it wasn’t an O-level option in your days at school), have there been times when you wished you’d stuck to what you started out doing (law and plastering, as I recall), because it would have meant a simpler, if somewhat poorer, life?
Guardian contributor Bob: Sticking with the law would have been a lot more complicated for me, because I was very poor at it and kept getting sued by clients.
Paul: "I was innocent, until I was defended by you and now I'm guilty".
I don't think there's any competition. Plastering is brutal, good, honest work that doesn't pay as well as comedy. What we do is great.
Bob: Might be the best thing ever. I think pop star might be a bit boring.
ergonomic asks:
I’m buying a new washing machine. What would you recommend, Bob?
Guardian contributor Bob: I would recommend that you would buy the cheapest Beko for your requirements. I need a 1500 spin. But if you need less than that, simply get the cheapest. And when it gets bust, simply buy a new one rather than getting a repair man out.
Nepthsolem asks:
When you were making The Fast Show, you must have been aware you were creating something that was absolutely bloody marvellous. Are you surprised at the extent to which the nation took you to its heart? Does it come as a shock that, almost 25 years later, it is frequently cited as the best sketch show ever made? Or do you look back and think, “Nah, we never deserves any less than that”?
Guardian contributor Paul: Who sent this, Simon Day? We were very proud of the Fast Show. We still get praise for it. Bob was talking about it in glowing terms this morning. It takes a lot for Bob to be complimentary. What I love about the Fast Show looking back, was how good the performers were. Caroline, Simon, Charlie Higson, John Thompson, all of them.
Bob: It's quite nice that it's a working class voice. Not an Oxford sketch troupe.
theyodeler asks:
For Paul: scrim or joint tape?
For Bob: jam or fish paste?
For both of you: the most memorable catch so far?
Guardian contributor Paul: Scrim, didn't have joint tape in my days. It's more of a modern thing.
Bob: If it's for my hat, fish paste. If it's for my gloves, jam.
Bob: And sea trout.
Paul: For me, sea bass. In the last episode. The first bass I ever caught.
asparagusnextleft asks:
Why does a full English breakfast contain mushrooms?
Guardian contributor Paul: on the grounds that mushrooms are not exclusively English? Eggs aren't exclusively English, bacon isn't exclusively English.
Bob: I think there's an anti-mushroom sentiment coming through here. I don't like button mushrooms. I like a field mushroom. How would you cook a mushroom?
Paul: Don't hold this against me: I never fry bacon, I never fry a sausage or an egg, but I would fry a mushroom. It sends them into clearer dimensions.
harryaristophanes asks:
What’s the one thing you most admire about the BBC? What the one thing you most lament about the BBC?
Guardian contributor Paul: The one thing I really lament is the loss of Television Centre. I thought it gave the BBC a sense of real identity and excitement.
Bob: The BBC television centre was a place for making television programmes. The new television centre is a place for talking about making programmes.
alexito asks:
You appear to be fly-fishing on a beautiful summer’s day, probably for lovely shimmering rainbow trout and handsome grayling. Have either of you ever spent six hours sitting next to pint of maggots on the Trent embankment in midwinter and caught two gudgeon?
Guardian contributor Paul: Course I have. I spent my entire childhood fishing on the River Lea, with a pint of maggots.
What cover band would I form? Hardeep Purple, a Bollywood cover band
ScottJohn1 asks:
If the two of you were forced at gunpoint to form a cover band, which would you choose and what would you be called?
Guardian contributor Paul: I thought Deep Purple. i don't know why, but it came to me. Hardeep Purple – a Bollywood cover band.
Can I suggest for Bob, can you do Bowie or the Stones - you've got a great back catalogue to work with.
Bob: I don't need your suggestion Paul. I'll do Haircut 100
MelonMouse asks:
Are there any sketches you have participated in and thought all the way through, “This isn’t funny, this isn’t funny”, then watched afterwards and realised you were wrong?
Guardian contributor Bob: I did a sketch with Matt Lucas on shooting stars. The premise was that I was selling caravans and he was buying one off me. But the sketch was that he wouldn't buy a caravan whatever happened. I thought 30 seconds in I thought it was rubbish and a waste of money and clothing – but it's turned out to be one of my favourites.
basilfawlty75 asks:
How did you come up with the wonderful Mulligan & O’Hare idea, Bob? And could you take House of Fools to Sky? And Paul, have you ever met Evan Davis? If so, what did he make of your impression?
Guardian contributor Paul: I saw Evan Davis at Cafe Nero outside broadcasting house, and I sort of nodded to him in a love me kind of way, and he sneered at me! Normally, you get a wry smile - but I didn't get one at all!
Bob and Paul are with us now …
Follow along here.
Post your questions for Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse
British comic aristocracy in their individual rights, Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse are nevertheless perhaps most recognisable for their work with others: Mortimer as one half of Vic and Bob with Vic Reeves, Whitehouse in sketch combo The Fast Show and as able partner of Harry Enfield on Harry and Paul.
Now though, Bob and Paul are consciously uncoupling from their longstanding partners – temporarily, at least – and are instead teaming up for their own unscripted series. Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing, which airs on BBC Two next Wednesday, sees the pair take to Britain’s waterways to discuss everything from their respective health scares to the science of pies.
Ahead of the series launch, the pair will be joining us at 1pm BST on Wednesday 20 June to answer your questions in a live webchat. Post them in the comments below, and they’ll tackle as many as possible.
Updated
Paul: Those midgies, they look like the chironomid or non-biting midge. Trout love them.
Bob: Why were there so many.
Paul: Because the river that goes past the stadium is a good breeding ground for midges. The midges you get in Scotland are evil.
Bob: I heard that the midgies came from the England players' snoods.