Poppy on Lucy
What were you hoping for?
Sexual tension.
First impressions?
Who’s wearing more silver? I must win.
What did you talk about?
I think we covered it all: The Twits, nits and taxidermy were the most memorable topics.
Any awkward moments?
I did personally feel one brewing, but when that happens I chat over it and point out something I can see, eg: “The wisteria is fake.”
Good table manners?
I told her I wouldn’t look at her while she ate, because nobody needs that pressure, so for all I know she could have had her cutlery in the wrong hands…
Best thing about Lucy?
She’s unapologetically herself and had the audacity to skip around with that homemade Prada handbag. Yes, Lucy!
Would you introduce her to your friends?
If the situation arose.
Describe Lucy in three words
Quietly feisty classic.
What do you think she made of you?
An unusual concoction of a human. Would take to a party.
Did you go on somewhere?
The train, but to different destinations.
And… did you kiss?
No.
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
To check four times if the pizza was definitely coming instead of just thrice.
Marks out of 10?
8.
Would you meet again?
We really did have a great time, but no.
Lucy on Poppy
What were you hoping for?
To be happily married before the year is out, with several children under my arm.
First impressions?
She has great style and can pull off gold and silver jewellery.
What did you talk about?
Her love of taxidermy; emigrating; Poppy’s two African land snails and my recently acquired pet caterpillar; ankle-length kilts as school uniform. And it wouldn’t be a queer date without trading coming-out stories.
Any awkward moments?
She asked if my handbag really was Prada. It wasn’t actually awkward, it was quite funny.
Good table manners?
Definitely. Poppy very kindly said that she wouldn’t watch me eat, so I felt at ease.
Best thing about Poppy?
She knows herself well, in a really refreshing way. She has a reserved confidence and a drive to follow what makes her happy.
Would you introduce her to your friends?
In a heartbeat. She has good chat.
Describe Poppy in three words
Engaging, driven, eloquent.
What do you think she made of you?
I’d like to think she found me affable and funny, and that she didn’t think I spoke too much.
And… did you kiss?
You’re worse than my mother!
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
It would take place in Monaco, I’d order a douzaine huîtres and she’d notice me looking out of place and invite me to join her table.
Marks out of 10?
A solid 8.
Would you meet again?
Platonically, yes. She’s great, but I won’t be booking the wedding band quite yet.
• Poppy and Lucy ate at The Phoenix, London W12
Fancy a blind date? Email blind.date@theguardian.com
