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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

Blind date: ‘My flatmate would love to compare taxidermy animals with her’

Hannah (left) and Joely.
Hannah (left) and Joely. Photograph: Linda Nylind/The Guardian

Hannah on Joely

What were you hoping for?
A fun night with a fun person, and some nice prawn crackers.

First impressions?
Great taste in skirts, chatty and pretty. We both arrived a few minutes early, which was a relief given I’m chronically late.

What did you talk about?
Feminist philosophy, Sean Paul’s extensive list of bangers, scamming free drinks, the prison system, the importance of being kind, the many failures of language education in the UK, the perils of dating men, our shared love for Years & Years.

Any awkward moments?
We seemed to be magnets for people spilling drinks and smashing glasses.

Good table manners?
Definitely better than mine.

Best thing about Joely?
She knew all the words to the rap in Blu Cantrell ft Sean Paul’s Breathe.

Would you introduce her to your friends?
My flatmate would love to compare taxidermy animals with her.

Describe Joely in three words
Up for it (a fun and free night).

What do you think she made of you?
A bit clumsy, that I can talk for Scotland, and that I think I know more about wine than I actually do.

Did you go on somewhere?
To a cabaret bar where we danced and drank, met some lovely drag queens and sang along to Paris Hilton’s Stars Are Blind.

And… did you kiss?
There were a few.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
The lonely man dancing next to us was also on a blind date.

Marks out of 10?
9.

Would you meet again?
Yes, I had a really fun night.

Joely on Hannah

What were you hoping for?
Good food and good chat.

First impressions?
I was impressed (and grateful) that she took control of ordering the wine.

What did you talk about?
The lack of good LGBTQ+ sex education in schools, the Fyre festival documentary and regional slang: my favourite was “council juice” for tap water.

Any awkward moments?
Carrying my doggy bag from the restaurant into the bar, but I appreciated it the next day.

Good table manners?
We agreed eating pizza with a knife and fork is unacceptable, so we were on a good wavelength.

Best thing about Hannah?
Her passion for the causes close to her heart.

Would you introduce her to your friends?
They’d definitely get on.

Describe Hannah in three words
Chatty, fun, passionate.

What do you think she made of you?
Good taste in music.

Did you go on somewhere?
To a bar, where I got to see some of the excellent voguing moves I’d been hearing about over dinner.

And… did you kiss?

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
Ideally, I wouldn’t have got drunk the night before.

Marks out of 10?
9.

Would you meet again?
We’ve exchanged numbers.

• Hannah and Joely ate at Zheng, London SW3. Fancy a blind date? Email blind.date@theguardian.com. If you’re looking to meet someone like-minded, visit soulmates.theguardian.com

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