Simon on Hannah
What were you hoping for?
That whoever turned up wasn’t a serial killer, colleague or mime artist.
First impressions?
Nice, and the chat came easily.
What did you talk about?
Family, favourite cheese and explosive diarrhoea.
Any awkward moments?
When I pushed away the table to go to the bathroom and nearly fell over.
Good table manners?
Even though she was very clear at the start that she doesn’t share food, Hannah did, in fact, share her food.
Best thing about Hannah?
She was very easy to talk to.
Would you introduce her to your friends?
No, my friends are scoundrels.
Describe her in three words
Friendly, sarcastic, intelligent.
What do you think she made of you?
Hopefully: friendly, sarcastic, intelligent. Probably: idiotic, sarcastic, rambling.
Did you go on somewhere?
No. Hannah had to bake a chicken pie and I had to pack for a work trip.
And... did you kiss?
A goodnight peck on the cheek.
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
I wouldn’t have eaten goat’s cheesecake. It made me feel sad about cheesecake and goat’s cheese all at once.
Marks out of 10?
8.
Would you meet again?
We don’t have any plans to.
Hannah on Simon
What were you hoping for?
Someone to turn up.
First impressions?
Attractive, tall, well-dressed.
What did you talk about?
Bad quiz team names, festivals, and how he was picked as a “poster boy” for Guardian Soulmates ads.
Any awkward moments?
I told him about the first time I changed my niece’s nappy.
Good table manners?
Excellent.
Best thing about Simon?
His sense of humour is dry.
Would you introduce him to your friends?
Yes, I think they’d approve.
Describe him in three words.
Funny, friendly, chatty.
What do you think he made of you?
Hopefully able to hold my own.
Did you go on somewhere?
No. It was a Monday.
And... did you kiss?
Peck on the cheek.
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
Maybe I would have suggested we go on for a drink.
Marks out of 10?
8.
Would you meet again?
Yes, although he walked off without my number.
Simon and Hannah ate at Hatchetts in Mayfair.
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