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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK

Blind date: ‘I persuaded him to read his poetry aloud just as the waiter came over’

Artemis and Sienna

Artemis on Sienna

What were you hoping for?
Honestly, to be proposed to.

First impressions?
Terror – she claimed we had matched on a dating app before.

What did you talk about?
We spoke about a range of topics, but I can say that Sienna is not as zealous about trying grilled human meat as I am.

Any awkward moments?
Sienna didn’t finish her croquette. It wasn’t an awkward moment, but I really wanted the little leftover ham chunks and never asked for them.

Good table manners?
I’ve never seen someone wield a knife and fork like that before. Sienna is the Zoro [anime character who is a masterful swordsman] of table etiquette.

Best thing about Sienna?
She is attentive, and incredibly fun to talk to.

Would you introduce her to your friends?
For sure.

Describe Sienna in three words
Introspective, pretty, octagonal.

What do you think she made of you?
That I’m super-duper charming.

Did you go on somewhere?
Nope but we did have cookies and marshmallows for dessert.

And … did you kiss?
No – I think it was the caramelised onions that I ate.

If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be?
We probably should have ordered a more expensive bottle of complimentary wine.

Marks out of 10?
She laughed at my jokes, so 10.

Would you meet again?
I would be down.

Artemis and Sienna during their date
Artemis and Sienna on their date Photograph: Courtesy of Artemis and Sienna

Sienna on Artemis

What were you hoping for?
Fun and a departure from the everyday (and from my nascent ear woes from listening to loud music).

First impressions?
He was self-assured, relaxed and a confident orderer.

What did you talk about?
DNA tests. Monogamy v polyamory. Parents. Therapy. Dancing. The paradox of choice. Books. Ear health.

Any awkward moments?
I persuaded him to read his poetry aloud just as the waiter came over to set up a grill on the table. He got more of an audience than he bargained for.

Good table manners?
Yes, beautiful. His white top stayed white despite gruelling grilling.

Best thing about Artemis?
He was a great listener. He showed enthusiasm for everything I said, even if I interrupted him.

Would you introduce him to your friends?
Some of them for sure.

Describe Artemis in three words
Elegant, thoughtful, curious.

What do you think he made of you?
A pleasing person to sit opposite while he tried his first s’more [American-style chocolate-marshmallow-cracker snack] and drank wine we would usually not be able to afford.

Did you go on somewhere?
No, but it was midnight on a Wednesday. We got the tube together.

And … did you kiss?
No, we just hugged. That felt fitting.

If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be?
Not to be fretting about my ears.

Marks out of 10?
A great 8.

Would you meet again?
Yeah, for sure, probably as friends.

Artemis and Sienna ate at Parrillan, London N1. Fancy a blind date? Email

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