It’s official: a Snuggie is not clothing – and not just because you look stupid wearing one.
“The blanket with sleeves” is a blanket, a US federal court ruled last month.
The Snuggie was dubbed by the Guardian back in 2009 as the “surprise fashion hit of the recession”, and now it’s had another win, with parent company Allstar Marketing Group successfully suing the United States government.
Of course, the lawsuit isn’t just for funny headlines, but instead because the company wanted to change the classification of the item so that it could pay less in import tariffs, noted the Washington Post, which first reported the case.
Imported garments, aka clothing, get a 14.9% tariff, while imported blankets only pay 8.5%.
So Allstar filed a lawsuit back in 2013 to claim the Snuggie had been improperly classified, since what kind of clothing doesn’t even cover your bum?
“The subject merchandise was not intended to be worn by a human when that person is walking,” argued the complaint filed by Allstar.
Apparently walking isn’t defined as taking a step and pouring a kettle, as depicted in the infamous infomercial (just don’t spill your cuppa while jumping to the sofa).
The US government had tried to argue that the Snuggie was like “clerical or ecclesiastical garments and vestments” and “professional or scholastic gowns and robes”.
And while the infomercial seemed to show an intergalactic cult made up of only suburban white people, the court didn’t think the Snuggie counted as a robe because the back is open.
“The court finds the subject import is properly classified as a blanket,” reads the United States court of international trade decision filed on 10 February.
It’s not the first time that legalese brings the lols.
Back in 1893 the US supreme court ruled that a tomato was a vegetable. That’s because vegetables were taxed and fruit was not and John Nix, a produce seller, tried to argue tomatoes should be exempt from tariffs.
Part of the case involved both sides reading out the definitions of various vegetables from the Webster’s Dictionary, including parsnips, potatoes, peas, eggplant and carrots.
Although botanically a tomato is classified as a fruit, the Merriam-Webster dictionary today defines it as a “pulpy berry of a herb” and notes it “is eaten raw or cooked as a vegetable”. No mention of the f-word at all.
Nix lost the case, with the judges ruling tomatoes are vegetables in “common speech”.
In 2003, Rubie’s Costume Company filed a lawsuit questioning whether Halloween costumes such as “Cute and Cuddly Clown” classified as a baby outfit or a festive article (babies garments were subject to 16.7% in import tariffs, compared to festive articles being duty-free).
Festive babies aside, the lawsuit was aimed at Rubie’s rivals, since Rubie’s was a domestic manufacturer and didn’t important pre-made costumes.
The lawsuit involved a big discussion over the word “fancy dress” – did it mean glamorous and expensive clothing or also cheap Halloween costumes? The federal court ruled that fancy dress covered Halloween costumes, and Rubie’s competitors got hit with higher import tariffs.
In 2006, superior court judge Jeffrey Locke ruled that a burrito is not a sandwich. Panera Bread, a bakery cafe chain, had sued the White City Shopping Center in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts, for allowing a Qdoba Mexican Grill to open in the same mall, since they had a clause against another sandwich shop opening.
But a sandwich is not made with one tortilla, ruled the court.
“A sandwich is not commonly understood to include burritos, tacos and quesadillas, which are typically made with a single tortilla and stuffed with a choice filling of meat, rice and beans,” wrote Locke in his ruling.
The jury is still out on whether a hot dog is a sandwich.
