St Patrick’s Day
Ben Affleck, Mark Wahlberg and Chris Evans (not the Top Gear one) find themselves in Dublin on THE day that all men from Boston like to talk about their Irish heritage: St Patrick’s Day. Formerly old college bros, now new dads with careers, they hit Temple Bar to have one last big St Paddy’s Day out – just like old times! The film is critically panned because of its disappointing ending, which sees Ben get too drunk and vomit on Grafton Street, Mark fight a doorman because he’s wearing a promotional Guinness hat and Chris go back to his Travelodge at 10.34pm to call his wife and check his work email. Colin Farrell, in a bid to escape typecasting, is playing an Australian backpacker working behind the bar.
The Day After Boxing Day
Garry Marshall puts a heartwarming spin on the worst day of the year, 27 December, by introducing us to the Walkers: Ohio’s most madcap family! Jessica Biel is the optimistic mum urging everyone to get off the sofa (catchphrase: “We’re the Walkers, now, let’s walk!”), Robert DeNiro, in his continuing attempt to wipe our collective memories of his early, amazing career, is the grumpy granddad whose opinions get more problematic with every port, and Zooey Deschanel is the kooky, accident prone, ditzy sister-in-law (a role that pushes the bounds of believability and wins her an Oscar nomination). After a series of totally unpredictable events (bedroom mixups! Slipping on turkey skins! Overly tense games of Jenga!) the Walkers realise the most valuable lesson of all: after 27 December, there’s a whole 51 weeks before you have to spend that much solid time with your relatives again.
Flying Ant Day
In a directorial left turn, Garry Marshall borrows heavily from Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead series for a terrifying horror full of OTT facial expressions and sweeping tracking shots. Marshall favourite Ashton Kutcher is Brad, a normal suburban guy whose life is changed forever when his plan for a Central Park proposal to his girlfriend of 10 years Katy, (played, in another break from type, by Lil Wayne), unexpectedly falls on that fateful day: Flying Ant Day. As the population of New York flaps their arms around wildly to avoid the millions of airborne insects, Brad takes on the real threat to America’s sanity: the endless boring Facebook statuses about it. On release, the film’s final line trends on Twitter for three weeks: “Dude, I f**king know it’s Flying Ant Day!”
Orange Wednesday
Wacky stoner comedy Orange Wednesday follows Jason (Michael B Jordan) who gets unexpectedly dumped by his long-term girlfriend (Martine McCutcheon, a comeback after a comeback in an ensemble romcom) on the exact day he can claim two cinema tickets for the price of one through his phone provider. A series of hilarious meet-cutes between Jason and several unsuitable women ensues, before a surprise encounter with an upbeat Scottish street cleaner (played by Zac Efron, who is, for no good reason, topless the whole time) makes Jason realise that it’s okay to be alone, because a single ticket costs the same as using Orange Wednesday. The film is critically lauded on release, due to the M Night Shyamalan-like twist at the end (spoiler alert!): Orange Wednesdays ended back in March 2015.
Shrove Tuesday
Bradley Cooper is divorced dad Kevin, who unexpectedly has to care for his eight-year-old twins, Khloe and Kourtney, on Shrove Tuesday. Determined to make it a Pancake Day to remember, he races across town to meet his long-lost grandma Betty (Jennifer Aniston, who, in an attempt to win that Oscar, has uglied up with prosthetics) to ask for the family pancake recipe. Jennifer Garner is Kevin’s uptight ex-wife, who delivers the killer line: “They’re gluten intolerant, you asshole!”, and Emma Stone is the perky grocery store employee who helps Kevin discover the essential ingredient for his recipe: love!
Bin Day
In a radical departure from his usual directing style, Garry Marshall’s Bin Day is a hyper-realistic, three-hour psychological thriller about a previously happy couple whose lives are thrown into chaos when Bin Day falls on a bank holiday. Do the council come on bank holidays? Did they remember to double bag that chicken carcass? And can you recycle the orange juice carton? Nicolas Cage plays Harry, the retired postman with a dark past, and Elle Fanning is Casey, the student hiding a shocking secret. The film is massively controversial on release, not due to the 34 year age gap between the romantic leads, but because Harry doesn’t rinse a baked bean can before he puts it in the recycling.
