There’s no getting around it now. The major storyline of the 2016 NFL season at the midway point is this: the NFL is bad. Even one of the league’s paid PR flacks tacitly acknowledged the negative feeling around the product by tweeting out a passive-aggressive “narrative” hashtag after Week 8 happened to deliver a handful of entertaining games.
What a day of #NFL games w/ 3 going OT. #narrative
— Brian McCarthy (@NFLprguy) October 31, 2016
So while we all can admit the NFL hasn’t been good this season, it also isn’t all bad. Even the darkest clouds have silver linings, right? (I don’t know if that is actually true, I’m not trained in meteorology or motivational cat posters, but it sounds like something you say to a league that’s hurting.) Outside of still dominating all competitors in TV ratings and revenues – which, let’s admit, are pretty noteworthy accomplishments! – the NFL in 2016 has a few good things going for it.
1) The future of quarterbacking may be OK
If Tom Brady grows old one day and the NFL doesn’t stop defensive players from hitting Cam Newton in the head and the Seahawks never bother to get around to providing Russell Wilson with some capable offensive linemen, the league is going to need some new marquee players at the sport’s most important position. Thankfully, it’s looking more and more like there is some legitimate young QB talent in Roger Goodell’s NFL. Cowboys rookie Dak Prescott has helped Dallas get to 6-1 in Tony Romo’s absence and, if he’s not the short-term answer at the position, is most definitely the quarterback of the future for America’s Typically Underachieving Team. A winning Cowboys franchise is good even for the millions who root against them: it keeps the fires of hate burning strong.
While Prescott has been eased into the league behind Dallas’ standout line and skilled players around him in Ezekiel Elliott, Dez Bryant and Jason Witten, his NFC East rookie counterpart Carson Wentz has exceeded expectations with a patchwork line and subrate skill position talent. Wentz’s production has dipped in recent weeks, but as rookie seasons for quarterbacks go – especially for those plucked out of the FCS – there’s zero reason Eagles fans should not be excited.
Prescott and Wentz are still mostly about potential, but Derek Carr of the Raiders is already unquestionably one of the NFL’s top 10 quarterbacks at age 25 and in the MVP discussion. His 513 yards and 4 TDs Sunday knocked off the Bucs in overtime and kept Oakland on pace with Denver in the AFC West at 6-2. We could be at the start of an era in which the Raiders and Cowboys are both good simultaneously for the first time since the mid-1970s. You can bet that would raise some interest in the NFL. In fact, you will actually be able to bet on that when the Raiders move to Las Vegas.
2) Bills fans
Dildo launch from @hub_nation 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/nfL4tI9UVG
— Dillon Hayes (@Dillon_Hayes) October 30, 2016
In a world gone mad, Bills fans are going with it and staking their claim as the most depraved fanbase in the modern NFL. Sunday’s on-field dildo – hurled with accuracy not seen in Buffalo since Jim Kelly’s heyday – was the logical next step for a fanbase that has destroyed every folding table in upstate New York and, at their last home game two weeks ago, earned national attention for using human buttocks as a beer luge. It’s very ... entertaining? And also somewhat horrifying based on the fact that Colin Kaepernick didn’t receive an especially welcoming or enlightened response from some of the Bills Mafia when he came to town in Week 6. It’s exactly the kind of stuff you expect to occur around a franchise that champions Rex Ryan and Richie Incognito. So where is the positive? It’s this: every Bills home game now provides an update on the exact state of American societal decline. Thanks for the status checks, Buffalo!
3) No daily fantasy ads
It’s hard to remember way back to the autumn of 2015. Millennials were making fortunes on Vine, Donald Trump was a punchline that no one thought would get anywhere near the presidency, and every second on every TV sports network in America was inundated by FanDuel and DraftKings promotions. It was a simpler time. But if you can remember that long ago era, you’ll recall that instead of complaining about the quality of football, everyone was bitching about the unrelenting daily fantasy ads that came during every commercial break. Now, thanks to investigations across the country and mounting cash flow problems, the absence of daily fantasy ads have changed our Sunday and made them a lllllllllot less annoying. Be grateful.
4) Parity
I say parity. You say mediocrity. Most want to call the whole season off. But before we do that, realize that this awful NFL season is probably going to have monster ratings in December when three-quarters of the nation’s NFL fans have their favorite team still in playoff contention. As it stands now, we’re halfway through the regular season and of the 32 teams in the NFL, only four have nothing to play for: the Browns, Bears, 49ers and – because they’ve essentially won their division already – the Patriots. The fortunes of 28 teams still hang in the balance, including even the awful Jaguars and Colts because just getting to eight wins could take the AFC South. There likely won’t be much more separation either. The supposedly Super Bowl-contending Seahawks just lost to the Saints. The Steelers have already lost to the Eagles and Dolphins. As the saying goes: on any given Sunday, a bad team can beat a slightly-better-than-bad team.
So while we complain about all the bad match-ups now and the TV ratings dip, we’ll undoubtedly gobble up that Week 16 Thursday night game between a 6-8 Giants team and a 6-8 Eagles team with wildcard contention on the line. What are your better options on 22 December? The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl? Talking to your relatives visiting for the holidays? No, it will be Ben McAdoo v Doug Pederson in a battle of wits on national TV and we’ll watch it and whatever other mediocriparity the NFL puts on our holiday plates. We might not be served a lot of good football, but we’ll have all the consequential football we could ever want.
5) Receivers
Flags, replays, commercials, Goodell, player protests that don’t follow your particular political leanings: there are undoubtedly many legitimate reasons to be down on the current NFL. It is also true that this is the golden age of receivers. Julio Jones, AJ Green, Antonio Brown, Odell Beckham, Amari Cooper, Rob Gronkowski, Larry Fitzgerald and on it goes, meaning there is very rarely a single NFL game that goes by without at least one amazing catch that makes you want to jump up and yell. Just don’t jump up and yell if you’re the actual player who has pulled off the amazing catch. You’ll get a flag.
