I have never been one to camp out at the barrier, but the screams when Billie Eilish walks on stage in Shoreditch give me a sense of what being in the front row to her shows might be like. The alt pop star, 23, has just arrived in London ahead of a six-night run at the O2 for her Hit Me Hard And Soft Tour. First stop, making an appearance at her merch pop-up store in east London.
A hundred lucky American Express cardholders (and their daughters) are in attendance under railway arches, the blue lighting giving the room an underwater glow. Eilish is fresh faced and quippy, despite the six hour train journey down from Glasgow she’s just undertaken. “It was beautiful, be-yooo-tiful,” she insists in her California accent. “I mean, I'm also a little Scottish, so it was kind of cool to be there.”
No private jet travel jaunt for Eilish. She’s insistent that her tours be conducted as sustainably as possible. All the merchandise on offer, signs announce, is “sustainably crafted with recycled and organic materials and non-toxic dyes”. The inevitability of the climate crisis keeps her up at night. “I think about the future a lot, but more in, like, an impending doom way,” she tells the moderator when asked about her future plans as an artist. “We're so f****d that we're all going to be killed by climate change in the next 15 years or so,” deadpans Eilish. “But we've got some great concerts to look forward to!”
Eilish is in perfect late night talk show interviewee mode, poised and thoughtful between flashing her dimpled smile at the audience as she jokes around. That pet mouse (her deepest childhood desire) she was gifted live on air in 2021 by Jimmy Kimmel? Fake news. “They're like, here's your mouse, and then they took it back. Love you, Jimmy! But everyone thinks I have a mouse, and it's been four years, and that was someone else's mouse.”
We're so f****d that we're all going to be killed by climate change in the next 15 years or so
She spotted the actor Jake Johnson in an airport last December, and was so starstruck — New Girl, where Johnson plays Nick, is her favourite show — that she froze. “I hid on the other side of the airport and I sobbed and I called a couple of my friends. I was like, ‘dude, Jake Johnson is at the same airport as me’,” she recalls in mock horror. Eventually she had to walk past him and he called out to her. “I met him and he was really sweet and I had an awesome day,” she beams.
Her own fame doesn’t seem to have sunk in yet — she still can’t bring herself to self-identify as an artist. But her super fan’s bringing signs to gigs is deeply appreciated - although reading while performing them can prove distracting. “I'll be really excited to read it, but I'm like I can't do it in the middle of a song because without a doubt I forget the lyrics,” Eilish laughs. “Sometimes they're super random, sometimes they're devastating, sometimes they're just like the cutest thing in the world.” And yes, she can see the fans very well when she’s on stage, and it hurts her feelings when someone is on their phone.
Eilish is also surprisingly candid about the different parts of being a singer-songwriter. Singing she adores, something she feels she was born to do. But the songwriting is tortuous. “I don't enjoy writing music,” she says. “I don't like the physical act, it makes me feel very frustrated, like I'm dumb. I'm thinking of what I want to say, but I can't say it and I feel like I can't figure out the right chords.”
“I don't enjoy writing music. I don't like the physical act, it makes me feel very frustrated”
It’s part of the reason that, three albums in, she still prefers to write all her music with her older brother Finneas, 27. “I don’t feel the need to work with anyone else, to be real,” she says. “With a sibling you can be so honest with each other - and brutal, as we all know. With Finneas, I never have to worry we're gonna not be friends again. Finneas and I have said the most cruel things that anyone has, and ever will, say to us because we're siblings. That's just how it goes. We love each other more than we'll ever be capable of loving anyone else and so I think that's why it's so special.”
Her brother is currently working on his own solo career, on his own tour around Europe. But their mother, actress Maggie Baird, is in the room, stylish silver hair catching the blue lights. After the Q&A, Eilish bounds back off stage as the audience gathers for photos and the chance to shop her merch. There are dog tag-style necklaces (£75), a roomy tote made of upcycled materials (£115) and a variety of snapback caps (£35) including a special edition Union Jack version. I don’t suit caps but having seen Eilish pull off her own camo version, worn backwards natch, on stage I am sorely tempted.
Given the success of Sabrina Carpenter’s recent pop-up to accompany her BTS headliners, I predict there will be queues aplenty. Plus, of course, the six shows running from tonight until July 17. Bring a sign, just try not to make it too distracting.
Billie Eilish Hit Me Hard And Soft merch pop-up presented by American Express, 347 Old St, EC1V, Thursday 10 July - Sunday 13 July, 12:00 to 19:00.
Hit Me Hard And Soft, London O2, until July 17.
