The great British summer. Umbrellas, muddy festivals, sweaty train and Tube carriages, Pimms, and of course Big Brother.
Big Brother 9: will feature a 'surreal, Alice in Wonderland-proportioned giant ashtray'
Channel 4's 9th run of the show will officially get under way on Thursday June 5 when the daddy of the reality TV genre returns to our screens with, no doubt, the usual hyperactive wannabes and dodgy hot tub activities.
The broadcaster today released some details of what we can expect from BB9 which, even if you hate it, will soon once again end up dominating conversations in offices and pubs across the country. Or will it?
Channel 4 hasn't given much away, although a suggestion that this year's run will end earlier than normal looks to have been inadvertently quashed in gabbled comments presenter Davina McCall makes in the press pack.
I was working on a job yesterday where the make-up ladies were about to spontaneously combust when I was talking about it starting again and they were so excited, they were going 'It's not shorter is it? It's not is it?' And I said 'It's not shorter' and they were like 'yaaay!' I was so happy that they were so happy.
And breathe.
The brand new house is billed as the "biggest ever". Luxury will be in short supply in the dorm-like single bedroom, which will be filled with "ultra-basic" beds that have the "kind of scratchy thin blankets more associated with budget camping holidays" as well as "far-from-comfortable mattresses."
BB's garden will have a central swimming pool, and more plants, flowers and greenery than before, while smokers will be able to indulge their habit in a "surreal, Alice in Wonderland-proportioned giant ashtray" that they will have to sit in.
The fact that Celebrity Big Brother was rested this year means it has been a whole year since a full BB series has been seen on Channel 4, with some saying the break will help refresh this year's offering.
Yet the fact that BB is returning at all gives many a heavy heart, including several of my colleagues, but I for one have always been a fan of the show, even through its lowest points.
There is always that mild excitement of finding out who is going in, quickly followed by the mild disappointment when you realise you don't like or fancy any of them.
You then give it a miss for the first week or so. But then the office chatter gets too much and you dip your toe in a few times and before you know it you know all the housemates' names off by heart and by final night you actually care who wins.
For those of you who hate it, best stock up on some DVD box sets now. In fact, make that enough to last until 2011 when the show's current contract with Channel 4 runs out.
The countdown has begun. You have been warned.
