Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
I love a good dark and stormy. I’d never had the classic cocktail before a work trip to Bermuda, where it’s the national standby. Then, since rum, ginger beer and limes are easy to come by here in the states, it became a staple at home — a simple to make cocktail that doesn’t have more steps than a whiskey-and-Coke but feels significantly classier.
Gosling’s, maker of both rum and ginger beer, decided to streamline that process even further and jump into a crowded market of canned cocktails with its signature drink. Their Dark ‘n Stormys come in four different flavors: original, cherry, pineapple and mango. And because dark and stormies rule, I took it upon myself to try all four.
The good news? Gosling’s knows what it’s doing when it comes to the original. The bad news? Well, there isn’t much sense innovating when you’ve got a base model that’s just about perfect.
Gosling's Original Dark 'n Stormy: A ... with a caveat
The first sip is the biscuit-y goodness of a Dark n’ Stormy, albeit without the fresh lime or even any blatant rum flavors. So, basically just a can of full-sugar Gosling’s Ginger Beer. Let it linger on your tongue and you get hints of that rum, but if this is significantly stronger than a hard seltzer this drink isn’t letting on.
The problem is this richness is gonna take a ghastly caloric toll. This is full bodied as hell and it tastes great. It’s a ginger beer that retains the signature spice and gets you drunk. Hell yeah.
Buuuuuut, there’s a lot of sugar involved before we get to the booze itself. It’s pure cane sugar, which tastes great but means each can clocks in at 272 calories. That’s just about three light beers or hard seltzers. Or one pint of a high level hazy IPA so … touche, I suppose.
Regardless, I love it. But I’m also very concerned. Of what drinking four of these would do to my already prodigious dad body as well as how I’d feel the following morning. Probably bad!
Gosling's Black Cherry Dark 'n Stormy: B
The taste doesn’t quite live up to that pour at first. The ginger up front is a bit hollow compared to the rich ginger beer flavor of the regular version. But soon the cherry kicks in and brings a little bit more of the ginger with it to create a pleasant drink. It’s not great all the way through, but it finishes stronger than it begins.
I do miss the spice of the unadulterated Dark ‘n Stormy. The black cherry isn’t bad, but it takes away from that ginger cookie goodness of the proper cocktail. It still brings some textured smoothness to your glass with an aftertaste you won’t get sick of. Maybe if I’d tried it first the grade would be higher.
Gosling's Mango Dark 'n Stormy: C+
That aftertaste is a little bit of a problem, though. It overpowers the ginger and hits the rocket boosters to take you from balanced cocktail to syrupy sweet. The richness of everything Gosling’s does best gets wiped away by the added flavor.
Sipping straight from the can makes things a little easier, but it’s lacking the charm of the original mix. It’s not undrinkable, it’s just the one I’m most likely to skip in the variety pack.
Gosling's Pineapple Dark 'n Stormy: C
The first sip is … whoa. That pineapple is front and center and it’s overpowering. Between the thickness of that juice and the sugar involved you’re getting a dense, thick drink the bubbles of the ginger beer can’t save. Like the mango it’s drinkable, but it’s strong in the wrong ways. It’s disappointing, knowing where these canned cocktails started and where they finished.
But hey, at least we know the basic recipe is solid as hell.
Would I drink it instead of a Hamm's?
This a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Gosling’s canned Dark ‘n Stormys over a cold can of Hamm’s?
The original for sure, though I’d have to temper myself lest I bring in half my daily calories from a canned cocktail. Black cherry might get the call as well. Mango and pineapple are decidedly not for me — but if Gosling’s puts together a case of the original I’d bite. Otherwise, well, it’s not a complicated cocktail to make, and I’m happy to take the 45 seconds to mix up my own at home.
